Colleagues spoke about me on Teams call thinking I wasn’t there - do I say anything

Yes - my clients often let me know they’re expecting a delivery and it’s fine, it only takes a minute or two to answer the door.

Blimey! Where do you work, 1957?! That is a terrible response - I’m so sorry, please know that you are not alone. Something similar happened to me, it happens a lot more than ppl realise and it always reflects more on the perpetrators so please don’t internalise any of this utter BS.

Definitely flag it - if anything, these two “colleagues” are a problem for the company, if they can’t behave professionally in meetings. Imagine if you were an external client!

Depending on the situation / seniority, I would have either come straight back onto the call and say, ‘Gentleman, you forget yourselves’ and give them a very hard stare. Otherwise, I would have returned to the call and been icily professional. Mind you, I would not leave a call to answer the door unless it was with someone I knew well, I certainly wouldn’t interrupt a meeting with people I had just met.

Dumb of them to talk about you on a live call but you’ve said yourself you weren’t coming across well. Have you really never slagged off a colleague after a meeting that was a waste of time.

if you need to work with these people I’d send an email direct saying your comments were heard and I’m very unimpressed. I have a great deal of experience and knowledge so if that didn’t come across in the meeting I can only apologies but I hope to receive an apology from you and then we can draw a line and move forward with this project. Regards op.

Re answering the door when wfh. I cringe when it happens but I’ve had to leave occasionally to do this and it’s accepted in my work. We also all seem to have had puppies over the last 3 years so popping off a call to open the door is fine too. I can always hear the call even when not on screen and that’s our expectation. I once started a meeting with my director and a couple of others by saying I’m going to pour a coffee but I can still hear you. (I had been on back to back calls with no opportunity to drink or wee).

Yes thanks - he could so easily be an arse like the blokes on Ops call. Instead he would not have behave like her manager, he’s have used his position to speak up for her… that’s what allies do.

I apologise if I responded with too much acid to @Trolleysaregoodforemployment reply given her dyslexia. However, it’s not snobbery to point out that if senior directors/CEOs and CFOs happily step away from calls to take answer the door, like OP did and for which she has been accused of being unprofessional - and therefore for some fucked up reason almost deserving of the misogyny she received.

Was it definitely about you

The door bell thing is not a huge deal, but OP was not the only one home. She should have left it for DH to answer, especially being aware of how badly the meeting was going.

I said not to bother reporting, but OPs boss sounds a bit crap. OP saying she’s been upset by an incident and highlighting she’s not performed well and left a meeting early should at least be heard and recorded. Advice from HR should also have been sought by her boss.

Doesn’t seem like a great place to work.

Report it 100%

I would have got back on the call and said "Do you know what misogyny means?" But then I don't give a shit about saying it especially to 2 blokes. Watch them squirm

I’m really sorry this happened to you OP, and that your manager is so shit.

Your manager could have started by showing this had their full attention then checking in on how you feel about it and assuring you it’s not ok, but up to you. You wouldn’t materially be in a different place but you’d probably feel less crappy and marginalised by it all.

They sound like dicks, chatting like that on a live work call is hugely inappropriate and this might not be the last time they wade into bother if they’re that lax.

She should.

Better to be proud of that than the misogynistic wankers on this thread.

Ohhh 👌👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻you must be so proud! Well done. 😎🤓

I have already given my opinion on the OPs situation. You may not think that snobbery is a damaging as misogyny, but I do.

Bloody hell your manager is as bad as the arseholes on the meeting

and I see that there are also a lot of arseholes on this thread.

pathetic misogynists one and all

So not just me who thinks when you are working and being paid you should be on top of things. This situation wouldn’t have happened in an office. Your colleagues remarks were unkind and unprofessional but as kids say in the playground “you started it”.

Now tou are being silly! The clue is in the words ‘lunch break’. What someone does then is up to them, during working hours/meetings, not so much.

That'll be the dyslexia. My apologies for laughing at the comment, I completely misread that.

It doesn't distract from your attempts at credibility by association or your snobbery about your millionaire husband's divisional role in a FTSE 100 business. Come back when the Analysts are positive about his appointment. I will still only be mildly interested if those shares are part of my portfolio.

Let it go. Silly people making silly remarks but you did say you were not at your best so first impressions and all that. They don't have the right to voice these opinions on a call. Very unprofessional of them so if you want to discuss it with someone, it should be them. I would personally go that route and do it in a nice way, although clearly these two aren't very nice which puts you on higher ground. Perhaps I'm more thick skinned than most, comes from working with a bunch of psychos for years.

Ps I’m killing time on MN, drinking G&T in the back garden whilst DH plays with the BBQ - not being a derogatory troll towards the OP and those supporting her against shocking misogyny which clearly distressed her.

How awful for you. Let them both know that you over heard them saying what they said and wanted to warn them to be careful as anyone else may have reported them. Is there any way they could have been talking about someone other than you?

You know you were feeling tired and below par so don’t believe those comments. Remember the times st work when you’ve been awesome! They sound immature & lacking self esteem.

x

Try reading comprehension… I said: they are as often ‘couriers with highly confidential documents needing signatures’ as they are ‘gaming merch for my teens’.

🤦🏽‍♀️

oh and he is not a ‘divisional head’ he’s a GLOBAL head and director on the board of the parent company AND the 30+ subsidiaries…

and he absolutely steps away from on-line meetings to answer the door and would also call the two chaps who disrespected the OP into his office to have a conversation. He and his company take no stock with people displaying misogynistic, racist, or homophobic behaviours on company Teams calls.

Your manager's attitude seems to have shaped the way you conduct yourself, and they conduct themselves, at work. You're all as bad as each other. At least you're not in trouble for being unprepared and unprofessional?

You said they were for your teens.

As for your DH being a DIVISIONAL Director of a FTSE 100 business and being a millionaire. In the words of Shania "that don't impress me much". I bet the Analysts were as interested in his appointment as I am.

he’s a millionaire and you’re typing on Mumsnet?

That's right only paupers post on MN don't they? What you you doing on MN?

I would 100% complain !! Regardless of if they said it to you or about you was highly inappropriate, lacked professionalism and had nothing at all to do with the business! I would go to HR and explain you didn’t have much opportunity to speak. I would also comment that the lack of recording of meetings has probably facilitated allowing them to behave like masonagistic bastards…. And is this really how they want the company represented??!! It would be interesting to know if they have been picked up about this before 🤔
I hope your self confidence picks back up, clearly from the eloquence of your post, you’re professional, beautiful and intelligent ( maybe they are just envious !! 🤣 😂 )

I had this happen to me with a colleague slagging me off on a training course. I have known her 20 years and thought she was lovely.

I reported to her line manager and the trainer also reported her. She ended up emailing a grovelling apology. I accepted the apology, but told her what I thought of her actions and to never speak to me again.

Some people are spiteful.