Colleagues spoke about me on Teams call thinking I wasn’t there - do I say anything

That's terrible and you should definitely report.

However, going off to take a delivery on a scheduled call isn't a good look an is hardly going to make a good impression. If your DH was there on his lunchbreak, why would you even consider getting up to answer the door to a delivery?

That doesn't negate the fact that their comments were chauvinistic.

Why are you making this a man/ woman thing?
Totally unnecessary.

if you’re not going to report id try to get hold of the transcript for your own records in case you ever need it . Its sexism

Personally I probably wouldn't take it further, just because there's no proof and unfortunately we've probably all had a moan about a colleague at some point. I like the idea of letting them know what you heard in private, as long as you think you can handle any fallout from it without becoming visibly emotional, which might make people like them value you even less.

For some reason I assumed they were female when I read the OP. I'm not saying all women are that bitchy, but it sounded like something a particularly bitchy woman might say. Now I know they are male, it's just possible you could get a complaint about sexism to stick, but I'd be wary of the lack of proof and also the fact that they will probably say you behaved unprofessionally during the call. I don't think you behaved very unprofessionally - we all make mistakes or have off days - but they will probably mention it if they're trying to cover their backs, which is why I think it would probably be better to let this one go.

Thankfully times have indeed moved on and nobody has to suffer being bullied or bitched about as it's completely unprofessional. If they'd have done this in front of a client and lost business they'd be in serious trouble. I would email them and let them know this - there are some great posts at the start of the thread that can be used. I run a business and if anyone came to me saying they'd been treated like the OP (and in such a careless way - the men are clearly absolute idiots) then I'd be furious with them.

I'd let them know you know, but wouldn't necessarily take it further.

Here's a video you could send them, OP, 'After your sexist comment about me not being employed for my brains, here's a video to help you understand what sexism feels like.'

I'm so glad I've never worked with some of the moaning about OP taking in a parcel! Luckily my colleagues were human and understand these things happen.

I think there’s a difference here.

The first comment ‘god, this call is hard work’ I would be pissed off with/upset by but I get people say things sometimes. I’d probably let them know I’d heard and was annoyed.

The second comment is foul, misogynistic, and should not be happening in any place of work. I’m assuming these were two men OP? I would one hundred per cent take this further, what form that takes would depend on the set up at my work place and the relationship with my bosses. I’m gobsmacked by any poster who suggests ‘take the compliment to your looks’ - that is not what this is.

I’m sorry you had to hear this shite OP.

They're horrible and unprofessional. It also sounds like you were unprofessional.

@Biffbaff

Not everybody reacts in the same way, especially to something very unexpected and even more so when experiencing sleep deprivation.

You've never been caught off guard and been a bit too shocked to say something in the moment?

Gosh things have changed since I worked.Colleagues bitching about someone else. Not nice but move on.

This is how to deal with it.
Anything more including reporting to HR just makes me so despairing.
Grow a backbone and also grow some honesty.
You came accross as slow and unsure. They made a comment referring to thus. You admit you were muddles, slow and unsure. They agreed!
Commenting on your looks is a shame but it was hardly x rated.
Everyone who would report probably reported folk walking on the beach in covid.

So I translate this as "men are allowed to have off days, but women are not - therefore women must never, ever make a mistake at work because all women will be judged by it if they do". What a load of shit. Maybe let's turn that argument on its head and stop holding women to impossibly high standards just so they're not judged to be brainless bimbos by the people who actually need educating about how to behave in the workplace. Jesus wept. We're women, humans, not robots. Just like men in fact.

And does that make it any less unprofessional?

The thing about the call being hard work is hurtful, but I wouldn’t report that- particularly not if I could see that I wasn’t as “on it” as I should be, and then ducked out of a call to take in a parcel.

The rest is a different kettle of fish and I would 100% report that to HR - entirely unacceptable. But be aware you’ll need to give the context for why you stepped away from the call. Depending on the kind of business you work in, that could cause its own problems. It wouldn’t in mine, but we’re not super corporate.

people do this all the time

I would make it known you heard and watch them learn a hard lesson

They were nasty and out of order.

Had they called you unprofessional, you couldn't have really argued, especially as you left a meeting to take in a parcel 🙄

But what they said was personal and nasty.

I’d send a message to the pair.

Hi Knobheads

Hope you understood the points I made throughout the call. Sorry I wasn’t feeling my best today and had to end the call early.

Good job I’m a looker hey or who knows where I’d be.

Have a lovely Friday!!

Then I’d report them to HR

same.
Also, OP, kindly - you have to be on top of your game, bad night or not. All women are judged on how women perform in the workplace. It is shit, but that is how it is. So please try to be on top of your game all the time.

Also: pretty unprofessional, DH there or not, to end a work call early to take a delivery.

So. You may want to tell them you heard them - only you know if it will affect your working relationship with these men. IMO you just need to get on with your job, at 100% and let it go.

That would be apologising to two snarky bees wouldn't it? I don't disagree with contacting them again with some sort of explanation or comment but no apologies, these two don't deserve it

Some very odd responses on here from people I would assume don’t actually work in workplaces but of course it is aibu. This absolutely is potentially a disciplinary matter. They would probably just deny it and without further evidence that would be that. But I would be speaking to my own line manager about it in the first instance. I’d want to at least send a shot across the bow that this isn’t acceptable or professional behaviour.

"Weak"? Sleep deprivation is used as a torture method for a reason.

They were rude, unprofessional and sexist and you still think the op should apologise?

Wow.