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Original poster

Finances post baby - how would you split?

185 replies

Jeje100 · 10/04/2025 16:18

I would welcome views on this - pre baby/mat leave, DP and I both worked full time and split mortgage/bills equally - he earns double my salary.

I’m going back on roughly 50% of my hours on the same salary (pro-rata’d of course), with DP’s salary still double.

Would you expect DP to now pay say c.75% of all bills, or more given that now I’m earning less each month, I won’t have much left over post settling my share?

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 10/04/2025 16:55

Would you expect DP to now pay say c.75% of all bills, or more given that now I’m earning less each month, I won’t have much left over post settling my share?

I wouldn’t expect it no because you are choosing to reduce your income. Have you spoke to him about this reduction and working less hours? If he agrees then that’s great but I don’t think it should be expected.

USaYwHatNow · 10/04/2025 16:52

After our son was born, now 2.5yrs we pooled all wages into one amount, paid the joint bills and then split the rest equally. I'm not on mat leave again and when I go back to work initially I'll be on full time hours, however when our eldest starts school I'll cut my hours from 37.5 to 30. However we will still keep the same system.

CarpetKnees · 10/04/2025 16:50

As a family, all money coming into the house (both salaries, child benefit, and any other income there may be) should go into one pot.

Out of that, all the bills are paid, all groceries, all childcare, all expenses for the child, petrol, cars etc. If you have enough, then savings for holidays, for emergency funds, for 'the future' also get put away. Then both adults get the same amount of "spending money" for whatever treats they want, and to use to buy presents, etc.

HoskinsChoice · 10/04/2025 16:42

Yep, I agree with everyone above too. Definitely needs a conversation to discuss what you are mutually happy with.

LegoHouse274 · 10/04/2025 16:38

Mrsttcno1 · 10/04/2025 16:34

Then I think you need a real open and honest chat, to see what agreement you can come to.

In a healthy relationship you can’t unilaterally decide to reduce you hours and then demand the other person pick up the slack so you are no worse off- it doesn’t work like that.

I recently went back to work after my maternity leave, I’ve gone back part time and that was something both my husband and I wanted & agreed, our finances are combined and so it’s all in one pot and out of one pot.

Show quote history

Yes I agree with this. We have the same system. We have 3 children now though and both work part-time - I work 3 days and he works 4.

SapphireOpal · 10/04/2025 16:37

Mrsttcno1 · 10/04/2025 16:34

Then I think you need a real open and honest chat, to see what agreement you can come to.

In a healthy relationship you can’t unilaterally decide to reduce you hours and then demand the other person pick up the slack so you are no worse off- it doesn’t work like that.

I recently went back to work after my maternity leave, I’ve gone back part time and that was something both my husband and I wanted & agreed, our finances are combined and so it’s all in one pot and out of one pot.

Show quote history

This.

I'd expect him to pay more but if I was him I'd expect you to discuss it with me before reducing your household income. I'd also not have reduced my hours and compromised my career when I wasn't married but that's by the by.

Mrsttcno1 · 10/04/2025 16:34

Jeje100 · 10/04/2025 16:31

Mine, as I wouldn’t want to be away from my DC for longer than those hours

Show quote history

Then I think you need a real open and honest chat, to see what agreement you can come to.

In a healthy relationship you can’t unilaterally decide to reduce you hours and then demand the other person pick up the slack so you are no worse off- it doesn’t work like that.

I recently went back to work after my maternity leave, I’ve gone back part time and that was something both my husband and I wanted & agreed, our finances are combined and so it’s all in one pot and out of one pot.

Original poster
Jeje100 · 10/04/2025 16:31

Mrsttcno1 · 10/04/2025 16:30

What conversations have you had about finances before agreeing to reduce your hours, and who’s decision was it for you to go back part time?

Mine, as I wouldn’t want to be away from my DC for longer than those hours

OP posts:
Needlenardlenoo · 10/04/2025 16:31

I'd split costs in ratio to your salaries. That's what we've always done. We pay the ratio-ed amounts into our bills account.

Mrsttcno1 · 10/04/2025 16:30

What conversations have you had about finances before agreeing to reduce your hours, and who’s decision was it for you to go back part time?