I’ve recently got a new job which means I now work FT hours. I was a SAHM for a long while, then I went PT (3days) and now I work 35 hours a week. They are often unsociable hours too, including weekends. There are no childcare issues as DC all teens.
In the past DH and I have been expected to do most of the family entertaining at our house including relatives staying over or coming for lunch and us hosting most Easter’s, Christmas etc. I felt obliged since I was a SAHM, and everyone was working or retired, but dropped it back when I was working PT.
Now I’m working FT and I still have to deal with house, kids, chores, and I want some me time. I’m just NOT prepared to “host” any more. I’m not spending my precious time shopping, cooking and cleaning up after extended family, nor am I prepared to drive hours to see them on sometimes my one day off.
I know that sounds really mean, but the back story is that my in-laws have never once helped with our DC and one of my own parents remarried and spent all their time with their DSC and DSGC and doesn’t even know my DC very well.
10% of me feels a bit guilty, and a bit self indulged. DH is a bit hurt (he’s getting grief from his parents about lack of contact with our family) but I feel like I don’t owe anyone anything. I’m very happy to meet in a restaurant or cafe, but I’m not hosting. DH helps, but I end up doing it.
I’m bringing this up now as I said I’m not hosting Easter as E Sunday is the only day off in a big stretch of work days and I’m not spending it cooking.
AIBU? I feel selfish, but this work is all at my expense.