Would you do this or is it morally a shit thing to do?

That’s your female socialisation to be kind coming out. He doesn’t give fuck about you, don’t give a fuck about him.

It's no excuse. I am experiencing unbelievable amounts of strain in different areas of my life. I'm not horrible to anyone. Self awareness is really important and no one else needs to suffer especially when you are a manager

this definitely. I get that doing it can be stressful and you are entitiled to minimise your own stress but not doing it because he "might" have problems is in no way reasonable.

I feel like I've read a different OP to everyone else. People keep saying he deserves it for bullying you and driving you out of a role, but the actual example you give of his behaviour is 'making some small comments about being a mum and saying he didn’t think I had much character about me'. This isn't an actively nice thing to say but it doesn't seem to me to constitute harassment or bullying (unless the 'small comments about being a mum' are discrimination that you've massively underplayed in this description) and I can't begin to fathom why anyone would have advised you you would get £25k compensation for having endured them?

why are you even considering this nasty vile things feelings, get out of there and don’t look back

Why does him being good at his job let him off bullying other members of staff?

I think you should make the complaint, because otherwise he could make someone else's life a misery . Also he had forced you out of a job you loved and subjected you to a very miserable time. If you don't complain he might think his behaviour is ok

I’m going through a hellish time in my personal life but it doesn’t make me treat anyone badly. Put in the complaint

Can you not go to the new job but still continue with the legal case but pursue it as constructive dismissal?

What he's said just sounds like some low level lack of social skills or filter.
Hardly worth upending someone's life for, and definitely not a good thing to have on your conscience if it's for money. Unless it's something you'd go to the police for as harassment then leave it alone.
When you initially complained to his higher-ups what happened with the comments, did it continue after they spoke to him?

I once had to complain about a managers behaviour. He was a nice guy and very good at his job but the chat was just overly sexual and everyone knew it but nobody did anything about it - but on one occasion he said something that was just too far.

Anyway I complained to my manager and the head of our office but chose not to make it an official HR complaint. He got such a fright all the inappropriate chat stopped immediately. He would definitely have been fired had I gone to HR and I didn’t think he quite deserved that.

Please do it - if only to save the next person he targets. He is nasty and should be stopped!

However, friends have said that’s ridiculous as he’s been happy to make my life miserable and push me out of of a job, so why do I care about him.

Your friends are right.

Push on with your action.

I think make the complaint and leave but I think you are going to have to engage in the grievance process and jump through some hoops. I don't think you're automatically going to get a big payout just like that, and a lot of it will get swallowed by legal fees. That's why the lawyer is pushing you amd promising payouts, to make money off you.

You don't say what thus man has done that's so bad. I agree that "lacking character" is a duck thing to say. Can you shape this up into constructive dismissal? Are you trying to argue discrimination based on "a few small comments about being a mum"?. What's your evidence for this?

I have a situation at work where someone is saying I said something I didn't. Ive been advised it becomes a "he said she said" situation. No one is talking about pay outs! I think you might be misled by your lawyer.

But definitely leave and make a complaint. Bustard deserves the trouble and also he will just bully others if you don't.

I think you absolutely should go ahead and follow through with the complaint. It makes me angry that you are effectively having to leave and change jobs due to this man. I have no sympathy for him at all.

I wish I'd done similar in at least 1 former job, but never did, and it frustrates me to this day, years later.

I looked at the swaying shoulders, at the paunch's swag and swing
And my heart was touched with pity for the monstrous, pleading thing

And we all know how it ended.

His personal problems ain't your problem.
What a nasty little man.

They may not want the hassle but most decent size companies will have an established process to go through and people in the HR dept to do it. They won't just immediately proceed to settlement in my experience.
Unless this guy is some kind of hot shot that they are desperate to protect then in my experience most HR depts would advise the company to go through the process first rather than settle.

I am appalled that your HR department aren't reprimanding this guy in some way, or even giving him the push. What he is doing is very serious indeed, blatant bullying. I doubt you are his only target, op.

It will be highly unlikely that you are the first person he has done it to and unless you pursue it you will not be the last. You do know he is not good at his job because his job is not demeaning and demoralising other workers.

I think if you've got as far as writing the complaint, you should submit it. I regret not making a complaint about a manager at a previous job when I was much younger and more naïve. All my colleagues were pushing me to, as this manager had a track record of being an awful bully to everyone and they felt her behaviour towards me was an escalation.

She got my phone number from HR (after me declining to give it to her) and was texting me comments about my appearance etc and telling me to wear certain clothes again as it would help me 'flirt' and get sales leads. Looking back it was so unprofessional and this was working for a major bank, so I'm sure she would have faced some sort of repercussions.

From an HR point of view, please send the complaint. You are entitled to complain about this, and by doing so might protect some other poor sod having to go through the same with him in the future.

I'm not clear on which voting button means what, but I would file the complaint.

I don’t think you can assume a settlement. There is every chance they will properly investigate your complaint. This could lead to various outcomes which could include some retraining for this man, a warning, dismissal etc. HR have said it’s serious. You would need to give them time to investigate etc. You said you liked the job, would you want to stay if it was resolved?

Make the complaint. It’s irrelevant that he is good at his job.