One day old baby in pub

DC2 (now 17) was less than a day old when I had to take DC1 to nursery. Brand new baby was handed around all the nursery teachers for cuddles and many kids were excited to see the baby too. A pub is probably less germ-ridden than that would have been (especially in February).

We lived beside the nursery at the time at least as I was full of stitches but their dad (thankfully now my ex) wouldn’t do the nursery run and I ended up walking a couple of miles that day as we had prepay electric and gas meters and he “didn’t know how to top them up” so if I hadn’t gone then we wouldn’t have had any heating, hot water or any way to cook. That was probably the worse thing for my recovery than having to do the nursery run.

Same

We did this to have lunch then when out daily from then on

Depends if any of those smoking would be holding the baby. If they are family members, that's going to be an issue no matter where they are.

OP also doesn't mention how busy the pub was.

Years ago a friend of a friend was told this, but she wanted to show her first baby off. The baby caught something, and was rendered basically a vegetable. Lived in a home and died at age three.

That's an extreme case, I am sure, but I often think of her. I think it is insane behaviour to take a day old baby to a pub, regardless.

I was never told to avoid people for the first few weeks with mine. The NHS doesn't have any guidelines or recommendations about it either.

And the pub has comfy stitch friendly seats!

@SouthLondonMum22
Whilst that's true they'll have family members helping, a day old baby wont have an immune system. People will be wanting to hold the baby. I've never seen people wash their hands properly in public toilets and they'll be touching the dirty cups/utensils at the pub and then touching baby. There's thirdhand smoking as well. People will smoke outside but it will still linger on clothes, hair and skin. Read about it online.

People can do what they want with their babies. Unless necessary, I wouldn't take a day old baby out let alone to a pub.

If you have had an episiotomy - then moving around a lot will be painful -and can have consequences. (infections and longer healing times). A natural birth can be far more forgiving. Those who have not experienced one - will not understand.

I don't think you are being old fashioned. with my first the 'narrative I was fed' was that it was normal to be up and about - and showing off the baby - I still regret doing too much now. I'd been cut and stitched - I felt dire

When my second came along (I had a natural birth - just stitches from tearing) and in comparison it was a walk in the park. Second time round I was more confident and spent far longer taking things at my own pace and felt better for it.

I took DD18 to a football match at four days old . DS was playing and DH was at work. I know I'd been shopping before that.

We were told in our antenatal class to avoid people for 3 weeks so the babies immune system could develop. Obviously not everyone can do that, but going to the pub is hardly essential. Quite sad if people can't put their baby first for at least a few weeks

If the pub is busy, it’s a poor choice for a newborn due to vulnerability/immature immune system.

I’m sure the mum felt fine - plenty of people do.

That said, an environment with loads of people isn’t a great choice for a very young newborn. The immune system certainly has some developing to do and such a young baby is more vulnerable than say a 3 month old.

YABU if the Mum felt ok and up for it. We sat outside a pub and had a (0% for me) pint with DS when he was 4 days old. It might have been earlier but I’d been in hospital 2 nights. Also a big episiotomy, FWIW, and I was 40, so her age is not a factor here.

Can't you see that staying close to home the first few days was your preference? Just as being in a pub is your cousin's preference. There's no rule. It's hard to imagine you are old enough to have a 19-year-old and you haven't run across people who choose to do things differently than you do. And what was the relevance of your cousin's age? Do you think it's more or less acceptable for a 32-year-old mom to take her baby to a pub than a 17-year-old? Your cousin may be young but she's old enough to know if her fanny hurts. You literally came on here to get other people to agree that your cousin is doing something wrong. If that's not judgy I don't know what is.

No, you were judging her. It’s okay to admit that, just own it.

Not your baby - not your concern.

I was at an ice hockey match at the weekend where there was a 5 day old baby and new mum in the crowd.

I think it's great for everyone to be alert to the likelihood that a brand new mum won't feel up to going out immediately. But if they do feel up to it, why not?

I was back and forth to the hospital on the bus once or twice a day from less than 24 hours after giving birth to each of my children. There was an element of need there (one needed to go to the breastfeeding clinic, and the other was very unwell). However, I'd have got a taxi or had DH drive me if I'd felt the need. I felt pretty well though, so long as I could get multiple naps per day, and the fresh air was good!

Giving birth doesn't have the same effect on everybody.

What exactly is the problem with a baby being in a pub, especially since the smoking ban? Do you fear it is going to absorb a bottle of whisky by osmosis?

We didn’t go to the pub but we did go to lunch in a cafe when DS was a day old. I had had absolutely not sleep for several days (labour then first 24h with a Velcro baby) and was beginning to feel like I was going mad so leaving the house was a much needed reset.

Dd1 is 27 we took her to a cafe at 3 days old (in a shopping centre too!) I had been out of hospital for 2 hours max.

Dd2 I don't recall when she was first out but I know she was the "oldest" she was also a homebirth so I don't even recall her first day "out"(sorry dd2)

Ds went to do the Christmas shop at 2 days old in a huge Sainsbury's. I sat with dd2 watching cartoons while dh and dd1 shopped checking in regularly.

Dd3 i took on the school run 2 days old. I knew from experience I would have a week of agony as my milk came in (I get a LOT) so took the one day where I could show her off to do so. She like dd2 was a homebirth

For the 17 year old I think good for her if she wants to and at least they had a good meal. Mine were sleepy the first few days so ideal time to do so. However I will also admit I am not one of those that want time alone with my baby. I think the more to love on the better. Mil and fil has cradled the oldest 3 within hours of their birth mil also for dd3 (fil passed away month before her arrival) my friend held dd2 at 3 hours old its a core memory for me. 25 years on I can see her vividly in my mind holding her looking at me smiling as she said "this is only the 2nd time I've held a 3 hour old baby" first was her ds.

Those same cultures likely have more family help. You can't stay home for 30 days if you have another child to get to school and the such like.

Babies also need to build up their immune system. Not to mention considering mums mental health, cooped up inside for 30 days isn't going to be a good thing for most.

I dont really think it's an issue

I think this is it. You have an image if what teen parenting is like, but her experience doesn't fit. So it feels odd to you. It is grand though. After my second c section, I was on overnight, out around 6 next day, stopped at m and s for olives and deli stuff for easy dinner.

Next day I was out for afternoon tea for a family member's significant birthday. It was all grand. I think people need to respect the needs of the mother, ask before doing or organising stuff, ask whether help is needed, especially if they are alone or lonely. Loss is a lonely place.

My last pregnancy I had twins at home at 9:05 and 9:08am and was out shopping for tea and school run same day. I think some of us are made of stronger stuff haha

I haemorrhaged the day after I had DD so I’m glad I didn’t go to the pub 😂. I was however, in less pain then than I was 3 days later. It’s like my brain finally got the message and realised what had happened and I couldn’t sit down for a week with piles, then once that got better after speaking to the GP, my stitches got sore!

Maybe she’s doing things while she can 😂