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AIBU?

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Original poster

One day old baby in pub

785 replies

Frenchie01 · 09/04/2025 23:27

So family member gave birth to first baby yesterday afternoon, she's a very young mum only 17 , normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy. Was discharged home today and a couple of hours later was at the local pub not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal , but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore. Other family members have said I'm being old fashioned am I.

OP posts:
Weirdwalk · 10/04/2025 07:12

It’s hardly putting the baby’s needs first is it.

Girltoddler · 10/04/2025 07:11

Apollo365 · 10/04/2025 06:48

I went a farm cafe day 1 of my second. School run day 1 of my third. YABU.

That’s nice, but some of us didn’t have easy births. That’s why I’d also be surprised if I saw a woman in a pub/cafe who’d only given birth a few hours ago.

Livingbytheocean · 10/04/2025 07:10

I wasn’t a young mother but I was home from the hospital four hours later and put the washing on, and sat in the garden when people started to drop by to meet her. Pubs are smelly, dirty, noisy grubby places and the very last place I would take a newborn or even a young child.

Penguinmouse · 10/04/2025 07:10

We took baby out for a walk at two days old and stopped into the pub to get a drink (albeit diet cokes) on the way back - the pub had literally just opened though at 4pm so we were the only ones in there.

Smallmercies · 10/04/2025 07:10

HelenWheels · 10/04/2025 07:08

germs
the baby is new born

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Beds are the germiest of places - a nice clean pub is much safer.

BlondiePortz · 10/04/2025 07:09

HelenWheels · 10/04/2025 07:08

germs
the baby is new born

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do you have evidence of this?

HelenWheels · 10/04/2025 07:08

Smallmercies · 10/04/2025 07:05

Why?

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germs
the baby is new born

UrinalCake · 10/04/2025 07:07

Smallmercies · 10/04/2025 07:06

The most strain comes from opening your bowels post-birth 😫😵‍💫🫠

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Lol.

I had bloody awful births but I must say, the post birth poos were never too bad for me! You win some you lose some.

Smallmercies · 10/04/2025 07:06

UrinalCake · 10/04/2025 07:05

Genuinely, what strain? All we know is that she was in a building, ate a meal and talked to people. Everyone does the first 2 things soon after childbirth and a lot of us do the 3rd.

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The most strain comes from opening your bowels post-birth 😫😵‍💫🫠

LuluDelulu · 10/04/2025 07:06

It’s not great for the baby, but people do worse.

PurpleFlower1983 · 10/04/2025 07:05

I was in the pub a day or two after mine, a family place that served food. She got a lot of attention and it was lovely. My birth was easy though, had her just before 7pm, home at 10pm.

Smallmercies · 10/04/2025 07:05

HelenWheels · 10/04/2025 06:58

for mum and baby they should be resting in bed ideally

Why?

UrinalCake · 10/04/2025 07:05

mathanxiety · 10/04/2025 04:14

@Frenchie01there's nothing wrong with your reaction. I'd have raised my eyebrows too.

There's nothing laudable about putting that sort of strain on your body so soon after childbirth.

Genuinely, what strain? All we know is that she was in a building, ate a meal and talked to people. Everyone does the first 2 things soon after childbirth and a lot of us do the 3rd.

Girltoddler · 10/04/2025 07:03

Frenchie01 · 10/04/2025 00:04

Well it's official I'm a wimp lol , had allmy babies a long time ago and couldn't go anywhere for a few days , I'm 42 now and glad I'm not having any more cos I don't think k I would make it out of the house for a year now lol 😂

You’re not a wimp. Mine is a toddler now and I was in a lot of pain for weeks. Some women have really easy births and judge other women who don’t have easy births.

BlondiePortz · 10/04/2025 07:01

HelenWheels · 10/04/2025 06:58

for mum and baby they should be resting in bed ideally

So is there actual evidence to this, smoking around a baby or taking them to a night club I presume there is evidence to say this is not ideal, but where does it say mother and baby have to be in bed?

UrinalCake · 10/04/2025 07:01

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/04/2025 01:18

I was never told to avoid people for the first few weeks with mine. The NHS doesn't have any guidelines or recommendations about it either.

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Same, but then that's no surprise considering how many people and how much noise the average postnatal ward features. The new mum and baby could easily have needed to stay in a few days, plenty do, and been exposed to just as many different people as in a pub.

PigglyWigglyOhYeah · 10/04/2025 07:00

Cherry8809 · 10/04/2025 04:16

This.

It would be a side eye from me.

Seems pretty sad that they couldn’t make it more than 24 hours before frequenting their local.

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Same here. I am old fashioned anyway, and don’t approve of taking kids to pubs except for a meal (especially when they are moving about on their own - it’s bloody boring for them). It’s not so much that she took the baby on day one, but rather is it going to be something that happens on day 2, day 3, day 4 and so on? The people posting that they popped into Tesco on the way home after sneezing out a child five minutes earlier are missing the point that this may (although may not, of course) indicate that this child is going to grow up rolling around on the sticky carpet in ‘Spoons like a pub dog instead of being carefully cosseted at home.

HelenWheels · 10/04/2025 06:58

for mum and baby they should be resting in bed ideally

Dueanamechange2025 · 10/04/2025 06:56

I don’t think it’s anything to do with being old fashioned or advice has changed, just that everyone reacts differently to having a baby.

With my eldest (now 18 so not dissimilar to yours), even after having stitches we called at Asda on our way home from the hospital and went out for a pub lunch the next day. I just recovered really quickly and wanted to be out and about.

Second child, I felt like I’d been hit by a bus, c-section, in hospital for 6 days and then home for rest. I didnt even do the school run until DH was due to go back to work (and he took four weeks off).

Smallmercies · 10/04/2025 06:55

HelenWheels · 10/04/2025 06:45

i agree

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Lucky then that your idea of ideal is 100% irrelevant to this young mum! What does not ideal even mean? Is it ideal for a baby to be driven home from hospital in a car, when we know that crashes happen? Is it ideal to be born into the world today? Are your lives ideal? 😅

Londonrach1 · 10/04/2025 06:52

Yabu. Dh and I went home via tesco as needed food with dd aged 3 days and then out for a pizza with his parents.

Original poster
Frenchie01 · 10/04/2025 06:51

Well a mixed. Bag of responses here , will think for at least 2 days before i post anything else to make sure I get the title exactly right so it wont come across as bashing lol as I said earlier i was an even younger mum at 16 but was comparing the situation with how I felt 24 hrs after giving birth but i repeat were all different

OP posts:
ButterCrackers · 10/04/2025 06:49

It’s good to see community and the mum showing off her baby. I bet she got lots of happy comments. For her though it must have been tough. I’m thinking of the blood and recovery and getting breastfeeding going 24/24. Perhaps it was the best time for her though - still on the birth high. Look out for her and keep the support going.

Apollo365 · 10/04/2025 06:48

I went a farm cafe day 1 of my second. School run day 1 of my third. YABU.

Smallmercies · 10/04/2025 06:46

Frenchie01 · 09/04/2025 23:50

Just to clarify I wasn't judging her , I was only 16 when I had first baby many years ago . She will be a brilliant mum I'm sure i was just concerned she might be overdoing it and wondered if others thought I was being old fashioned that's all , clearly I am . I just remember feeling too shit to go anywhere all 3 times but like i said we're all different

It's not about being old-fashioned, it's just that people are different.