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Original poster

One day old baby in pub

785 replies

Frenchie01 · 09/04/2025 23:27

So family member gave birth to first baby yesterday afternoon, she's a very young mum only 17 , normal delivery but episiotomy, baby good weight healthy. Was discharged home today and a couple of hours later was at the local pub not drinking alcohol just showing baby off and eating a meal , but am I right in thinking a day old baby baby is really too young to be in a pub or anywhere really , also worried she should be resting as obviously will be sore. Other family members have said I'm being old fashioned am I.

OP posts:
doreeen · 11/04/2025 19:46

Livingbytheocean · 10/04/2025 07:31

It’s just rough.
It could be the nicest pub in the world, it’s still not a place for a newborn baby that has only just arrived.

It’s just unthinkable to me, no wonder social services are overwhelmed if people genuinely think this is acceptable parenting, there is no thought whatsoever of the comfort and well being of the baby, that’s the issue I have with it.

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Social services would not be interested 😭‘newborn baby is out with their mother who is having a meal’ that is not going to raise any concern whatsoever nor is it going to negatively impact baby in any way

FridaFancy · 11/04/2025 19:40

CurlewKate · 11/04/2025 19:34

Or if the mother is doing it because she wants to/is enjoying herself. Perfectly fine if she is fulfilling her womanly duties-like doing the school run and a big shop.

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Of course! God forbid a postpartum woman fail to relinquish herself entirely to motherhood and societal expectations. Broken Britain etc.

CurlewKate · 11/04/2025 19:34

SwingTheMonkey · 11/04/2025 19:27

That’s fine. The light/noise/toxicity/germs etc are only an issue if there’s alcohol served on the premises.

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Or if the mother is doing it because she wants to/is enjoying herself. Perfectly fine if she is fulfilling her womanly duties-like doing the school run and a big shop.

DeskJotter · 11/04/2025 19:31

Livingbytheocean · 10/04/2025 07:43

Babies find birth traumatic, their bodies are full of cortisol, and the shock of delivery regardless of how easy or otherwise is considerable.

The stress and sometimes pain can last a few days at least - why wouldn’t you want to make a baby comfortable and warm at home, to offer a quiet sanctuary to a tiny human being that has already just endured such an epic, exhausting delivery? So their tiny bodies can regulate, their central nervous systems can settle down, they are able to start to feel secure and bond with their mother?

Their immune systems are not fully developed at all, so why expose them to so many germs? Needless germs too, because although hospitals are essential to the baby’s safe delivery, a pub certainly isn’t essential is it.

I am just speechless anyone would even consider this to be in the best interests of the baby! Clearly it is not. It is what the parents want to do, and that is a very sad start to their lives.

Edited

Why do you think the baby was uncomfortable and cold?

Port1aCastis · 11/04/2025 19:30

You know people that are landlords/ landladies usually live and work in a pub and still have babies.

DeskJotter · 11/04/2025 19:30

Livingbytheocean · 10/04/2025 07:31

It’s just rough.
It could be the nicest pub in the world, it’s still not a place for a newborn baby that has only just arrived.

It’s just unthinkable to me, no wonder social services are overwhelmed if people genuinely think this is acceptable parenting, there is no thought whatsoever of the comfort and well being of the baby, that’s the issue I have with it.

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But what makes you think the baby was uncomfortable or that their wellbeing was in danger?

FridaFancy · 11/04/2025 19:28

SwingTheMonkey · 11/04/2025 19:27

That’s fine. The light/noise/toxicity/germs etc are only an issue if there’s alcohol served on the premises.

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Aaahhh, that makes so much sense. Thank you 🤣

DeskJotter · 11/04/2025 19:28

Livingbytheocean · 10/04/2025 07:27

The baby’s first day on earth and their parent thinks a rancid old pub is the first thing they will be introduced to?

It really is astonishing. Mindless. Setting the worst possible precedent and putting the parents wishes over the needs of a tiny newly delivered baby, even the thought of it really upsets me.

Edited

Why do you think it was a rancid old pub?

SouthLondonMum22 · 11/04/2025 19:27

doreeen · 11/04/2025 19:25

Again, the definitely does not work if your baby has older siblings 😅 Thousands of babies are brought home to houses already inhabited by a couple of toddlers or small children, that are pretty noisy and chaotic. Babies just fit into the environment and sleep through everything when they’re newborn IME. The idea of creating some serene dimly lit silent cocooning atmosphere is funny.

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It doesn't work if your baby is a twin either. They get another baby screaming in their ear/face daily. 😂

SwingTheMonkey · 11/04/2025 19:27

FridaFancy · 11/04/2025 19:22

I gave birth at home on a Sunday, dropped my boys at school on the Monday and did a Morrisons shop with my newborn. Should I have languished on the sofa?

That’s fine. The light/noise/toxicity/germs etc are only an issue if there’s alcohol served on the premises.

BethDuttonYeHaw · 11/04/2025 19:25

TheHierophant · 11/04/2025 19:02

Horrifying! Babies need to be at home in a safe, snug, loving environment not being paraded in a pub! Pubs contain all the wrong energy for a baby, a truly toxic mix.

Well it really depends on what tunes are in the jukebox

doreeen · 11/04/2025 19:25

DeskJotter · 11/04/2025 19:18

Can't see why the pub wouldn't be warm. How quiet did "the thinking" used to say it needed to be? No telly? No conversation? No singing? No vacuuming? How loud do you imagine the pub was at lunchtime? A deafening roar?

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Again, the definitely does not work if your baby has older siblings 😅 Thousands of babies are brought home to houses already inhabited by a couple of toddlers or small children, that are pretty noisy and chaotic. Babies just fit into the environment and sleep through everything when they’re newborn IME. The idea of creating some serene dimly lit silent cocooning atmosphere is funny.

BethDuttonYeHaw · 11/04/2025 19:23

Good for her.

I hope she had a nice lunch.

FridaFancy · 11/04/2025 19:22

I gave birth at home on a Sunday, dropped my boys at school on the Monday and did a Morrisons shop with my newborn. Should I have languished on the sofa?

DeskJotter · 11/04/2025 19:21

kanaka · 10/04/2025 01:04

If the pub is busy, it’s a poor choice for a newborn due to vulnerability/immature immune system.

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Worse than Tesco? Or is the problem really that it's a pub.

Jiggedyjig · 11/04/2025 19:20

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DeskJotter · 11/04/2025 19:19

Tbrh · 10/04/2025 00:21

That's pretty cruel imo. One day old is still getting used to the shock of being in the world and probably the trauma of birth. I'd like to see an adult human cope with that intense change. Pretty shit actually.

Wow, are you OK?

DeskJotter · 11/04/2025 19:18

Jiggedyjig · 10/04/2025 00:20

The thinking used to be that after spending nine months cocooned in the womb a baby should spend its first few weeks in a similar environment- sleeping and feeding in a warm, quiet place. Not sure a pub qualifies as that.

Can't see why the pub wouldn't be warm. How quiet did "the thinking" used to say it needed to be? No telly? No conversation? No singing? No vacuuming? How loud do you imagine the pub was at lunchtime? A deafening roar?

tommyhoundmum · 11/04/2025 19:17

AllTheChaos · 09/04/2025 23:32

I genuinely thought (until I had my own baby) that they weren’t allowed out until they’d had their shots. Like puppies…

Seems entirely reasonable

DeskJotter · 11/04/2025 19:13

HouseCaptain · 09/04/2025 23:39

I think that this young mother doesn’t have any support.

What on earth would make you think that?

DeskJotter · 11/04/2025 19:12

Frenchie01 · 09/04/2025 23:33

I suppose I'm just amazed she can even walk , I was in no fit state to go anywhere lol , but it's been years since I had a baby maybe advice has changed . I was just a bit concerned about her overdoing it but I get she's excited to show off baby I remember that feeling too .

What advice did you receive? Was confinement a thing when you had children (I don't know what age you are). What are your worries for this mum?

DappledThings · 11/04/2025 19:12

HaddyAbrams · 11/04/2025 19:10

Last time i was in my local it was lovely and peaceful, a couple of smallish groups playing board/ card games, an older couple having a meal.

Totally toxic.

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Board games? That's truly toxic. Micro plastics were probably released straight into any nearby babies' lungs. This is why pubs are such awful environments.

🤣

DeskJotter · 11/04/2025 19:11

Galaxybisc · 09/04/2025 23:29

I don’t think it’s ideal for the baby

Why not?

Cherrytree86 · 11/04/2025 19:10

TheHierophant · 11/04/2025 19:02

Horrifying! Babies need to be at home in a safe, snug, loving environment not being paraded in a pub! Pubs contain all the wrong energy for a baby, a truly toxic mix.

@TheHierophant

what terrible, unsafe is going to happen to a baby in a pub exactly? I don’t think babies give a shit about others energy tbh.

DappledThings · 11/04/2025 19:10

SwingTheMonkey · 11/04/2025 19:08

The wrong energy! Fuck sake 😂

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I took that poster as parody as it was so farcical.