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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For not wanting to sleep at partners house from Friday to Sunday every weekend?

136 replies

Tobbay · 09/04/2025 22:30

So, context....
I say "partner" but we have known each other 8 weeks so 🤷🏻‍♀️
I am 50 and he is 54, he has no children at home and works 2rs a day so has heaps of free time.
I have a 21yr old and a 18yr old and an ageing cat who I love like a third Son! I also work in a very emotionally and physically challenging job, with violent children with trauma based backgrounds.

I have spent the last 3yrs healing from an abusive relationship and as much as I'd like to share time and life with someone, I also want to spend time with my children, my friends and myself! I need quiet time alone o reset. I run ultras and running and the gym make me happy.

The guy is already miffed that I didn't sleep at his house on the last day of term, but I'd explained I was totally shattered. The next 5 days he was very off with me and he told me it wasn't working out. After lots of "drawing blood from a stone" he said he wanted to see me all of every weekend and at least 2 or 3 times on the weekdays.

AIBU that I think he is being unreasonable??

OP posts:
Hillsaremyhappyplace · 09/04/2025 22:39

sulky? No I don’t think so. Next! 🙋🏻‍♀️

Vannymcvan · 09/04/2025 22:39

You've only known each other 8 weeks. That's insane! He sounds a bit controlling, as if he wants every second of your spare time. This would be a red flag for me

Mrsmouse71 · 09/04/2025 22:38

You’re 50, 8 weeks and you need to ask? Wants you on demand. Keep doing your ultras and bin him

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 09/04/2025 22:37

That's far too unreasonable

At 50, you need your space and freedom to do your own thing

Ltb x

StrongandNorthern · 09/04/2025 22:35

8 weeks too many by the sound of it.

FortyElephants · 09/04/2025 22:34

Run a mile in the opposite direction.

orangetree33 · 09/04/2025 22:34

After 8 weeks I wouldn’t be putting up with sulking. Coaxing out his reasons for being irritated and having to do what he wants to avoid silent treatment? No thank you.

EVHead · 09/04/2025 22:33

Throw him back. He’s an arsehole.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 09/04/2025 22:32

Chuck this one back. Demanding and sulky?! No ta.

MrsRuthFisher · 09/04/2025 22:32

He is absolutely being unreasonable. And controlling. And sulky. I would not have this, at ALL.

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 09/04/2025 22:31

Stay strong and have boundaries and protect your own happiness and life

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