so I met this woman I liked (we were both married). She was my therapist at the time and we ended up having a bit of a weird dynamic, nothing sexual happened but lines were definitely crossed, tbink whatsapping me hotels, trying to choose my nanny, wearing revealing clothing, asking me every week if I’d made my decision about leaving my husband, talking about trips we would take together etc. maybe we got a bit bffs maybe we were having an emotional affair. Idk.
My husband and I were in a very toxic relationship. He held me down and suffocated me. When I disclosed it to her, she encouraged me not to report and instead tried to help me to leave him on my terms - or so I thought.
It all came to a head. She had been encouraging me to take a trip away from my husband and children for my well-being. When I got back, my husband and I had another terrible fight and he really hurt me. I messaged her and got really angry with her. I told her I didn’t want her to be my therapist and blamed her for not reporting the initial violence. I said she had put me and my children at risk and threatened to report her. She apologised, said she had only been trying to help and then ghosted me.
A week or so later, I apologised and asked to see her again to sort it out (I felt like I’d blamed her for something that wasn’t really her fault). She ghosted me. I left my husbands, I tried to move on with my life and respected her wishes.
Five months later, she started popping up again in WhatsApp group chats (we are part of a small community, both our children were similar ages). One of them was a group for single mums. I just ignored her at first, thought she was just reintegrating in the community and tried to peacefully coexist.
Then she got weird. In a chat thread I’d already commented on, she posted about domestic violence, even though it hadn’t been explicitly mentioned. She encouraged someone to report domestic violence, the exact opposite of what she told me to do at the time. Unfortunately for her, it wasn’t in the vibe of the conversation and the other mothers shot her down. She ended up leaving this group in the end.
However she stayed in some other groups and then when my best friend asked for a recommendation, she told her to message her. This is when I snapped. I genuinely felt baited by this point - bff and I are publicly besties and everyone knows. There’s no way ex therapist couldn’t have.
I asked for a recommendation about something, framing it as a joke. I didn’t mention any names but it specifically pointed at something incriminating I knew she had done. Nobody else did and thought it was hilarious - I got a lot of laughing emoji reactions. I expected her to block me and leave the groups. She read the messages but didn’t do anything else.
My friend said that ex-therapist probably really liked me and wanted to check in on me. So I apologised and sent a very nice message to her, nothing incriminating, just offering peace and to clear the air if she wanted. She didn’t reply but on the same days is reading my group chat messages, as if to make a point of saying ‘I’m ignoring you.’ She hasn’t left groups, hasnt blocked me, hasnt sent a brief message saying ‘all good vibes let’s move on separately’ (which, considering the likelihood of bumping in to each other, imo would be the most professional thing to do).
Did I overreact in this situation? Have I been the asshole? Or was I justified? Do you think she will just ghost me again now or have I started a war? And am I being a complete drama llama about this whole thing in the first place?