Who does all the life admin in your house?

I don’t either.

I’m a sahm and we split most of that stuff fairly evenly.

I'm PT and DH is FT:

All homework - Shared

Booking and remembering all appointments for the family - me for me and DD, DH sorts himself out.

All reading and studying - shared

Booking and purchasing all household items - shared

Booking repairs and finding cleaners/gardeners/decorators etc -we do most of this ourselves, DH knows a lot of people in the trades so he tends to reach out if we need someone else.

Remembering all school activities such as bloody world book day/wear red day/eat an orange day 😆 - me

All meal planning/shopping and cooking - me, although cooking is shared

All teeth cleaning/bedtime stories - shared

Finding and booking all holidays/days out/meals out - mostly me

After school activities - shared

And tonight I’ve got to make an Easter bonnet 😆 - DH did ours for today!

I think it's natural for the one who doesn't work outside the home or works less to pick up more to balance things out. If I didn't, I'd feel like I should be at work more. But everything is split pretty evenly between us when you include work etc.

However, just because one of you doesn't work, doesn't mean that they should be picking up everything.

I work full time in education. Husband is part time (evenings). I do all the family administration. We have a family calendar on the wall which I update. Each week we discuss the upcoming week and any special days e.g primary trips/ dress up etc. I do the kids homework/crafting/sort costumes etc.

He does all the practical stuff. Dropping kids off at school/nursery. Activities. Pick ups. Driving around.

I do the meal plan. He does the shop. I cook the meals.

He does the laundry day to day tidying/cleaning etc/. Takes the kids to appointments.

It's not perfect and sometimes we both forget stuff/ get something wrong. But 95% of the time it works. It didn't work at all when we were both full time. Not enough hours in the day. And I realise that we are lucky that we don't need two full time wages to exist happily.

An added bonus is that it has meant that instead of paying for childcare he's got to spend some lovely time with our youngest daughter.

He wasn't keen on this at the start, and it's taken him some time to get used to it ( he's a traditionally masculine man). But he has made the best of it. It will probably be temporary until our youngest is in school full time. But honestly, I wouldn't mind if he never went back full time. I think as a family we are happier for it.

If it was genuinely “no biggie” then it would be something done at least 50% by men by default. Somehow it never is though, which suggests that, to men at least, it actually is a big deal.

(In my circs as a SAHM I don’t mind doing almost all of it because I’m not working. If I was working I definitely wouldn’t expect to be the only adult doing all the child admin, grocery shopping etc etc etc.)

I do the cooking and my DH does everything else.

Though my DC are older now but I did do all the kid stuff when they were small.

Yes but I’m part time two days a week and my DH Works insanely long hours so I feel it’s fair. It the teeth brushing and bedtime stories though. I wouldn’t call that life admin and we share that but sling one kid each and rotating each night (he’s not working late)

Probably me but 80/20%. It's very frustrating, but if I leave things they never get done. DH is very hands one on with the kids, in fact childcare is Probably 40/60 as he currently does more school pick ups and I have to 1 work weekends and he can WFH some days

Yeah me too, and I'm sinking. But I only work part time, thank fuck. I'm autistic too (as is DS2 probably), and the endless, endless demands and messaging are sending me into something I call rolling burnout.

I did more when DC were at primary school, because I was there before and after school to do the DC related admin. (work from home) There's much less of that now

It's a evenish split now. Possibly DH does more

I'm currently on maternity leave with the kids, but free time is still as evenly split as it can be.

He does all maintenance related to outdoors, cars, and house repairs or improvements.

I do most of the cleaning indoors, and all the laundry. He does tidy away the kitchen at night while I get the baby to bed.

Parenting is definitely 50 / 50 and he doesn't have to be asked to row in when he's home.

I like to do the cooking, because I usually need a kid free half hour when he comes home. He offered to do it tonight, because the DC were being chill for once & not much effort to mind.

I do most of the life admin. Health insurance, life insurance, budgeting, bills, banking, doctor appointments for the kids, purchasing their clothes and packing away too small sizes, party planning, organising playdates, booking activities, planning holidays, applying for schools and childcare, ordering groceries, etc., He does appreciate I keep things running, though doesn't fully understand how much mental energy it takes. I find it a bit frustrating to have the constant mental tally in my head from it. Though I tell him in advance when I'll need an hour to get life admin done, and he will take the kids, or do other things around the house, so we still have the same amount of free time regardless.

Financially, he is currently the higher earner. I used to be, before DC stalled that progression! We pool our money as we do our time, and take the same amount of spending money each month. Everything else goes into joint current and joint savings accounts.

Overall split is only skewed at the moment because I'm breastfeeding and doing all the night wakes.

Does he ever look after his own kids? No teeth brushing or bedtime stories?!

Why do you need to make an Easter bonnet lol

I did it all when kids were young as I was a single parent ,( even when with my DDs dad he was rarely about and we split when eldest was 5)

Now I live alone so still do it

And as someone else said only on here have I heard " life admin". And mental load for that matter. Was always just stuff that needed to be done - no biggie

DC are older now but this is how it was when they were little. I was a SAHM mum for a couple of years and then worked term time only.

All homework Both

Booking and remembering all appointments for the family Me

Hospital appointments/dentist/therapy etc Me

All reading and studying Both

Booking and purchasing all household items* Me*

Booking repairs and finding cleaners/gardeners/decorators etc* Mainly me*

Remembering all school activities such as bloody world book day/wear red day/eat an orange day 😆
Me
All meal planning/shopping and cooking Both

All teeth cleaning/bedtime stories* Husband*

Finding and booking all holidays/days out/meals out* Mainly me*

After school activities Me, both at weekends

And tonight I’ve got to make an Easter bonnet 😆* Husband- I am not creative*

I’m a SAHM.

I deal with:
all school admin including monitoring homework and the likes of world book day,
all the child admin (play dates, presents, birthday parties, after school clubs, sports, clothes, shoes, toys, kit),
health admin for the kids,
holiday and day out planning and booking and
all the day to day household stuff (cleaning, laundry, appliance repairs, grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking, car appointments).

DH does
bins,
garden stuff
and the actual taking of the car to appointments (I make the appointments, remember when the mot due etc).
He also does all the earning and most of the banking, utilities and financial admin.

We each do our own personal admin like our own medical stuff and tasks relating to our own extended families.

During the week I probably do more bedtimes and supervising tooth brushing and bath enforcement than DH does, but that goes with his job. If he’s at home at bedtime or bath time he is fully involved. That’s not admin though, that’s parenting.

I’m happy with our split of tasks. I would not be happy if DH expected me to do all the bedtimes and similar though - when does your partner spend time with his kids?

I stay in Scotland and I have never heard anyone in real life call it life admin. Or make a big deal of this like on mumsnet. People In the past just got on with it. No fuss.

We always split it fairly evenly, though DH does do slightly more. He's slightly more efficient than me!

Both work full time. I’m the main earner and the primary parent. I do all of the things on your list and all the cleaning/cooking. DH does occasional drop off but that’s it.

We both work full time

My DH does a bit more than me, because he works from home

I cook, because I prefer to choose what we eat

I'm a sahm and do all of that except booking holidays. Dh does that although we both research and find the hotel/ place to go.
We each sort out own cars out he does the insurance though.
I also attend most of the school stuff, take the dogs to multiple vet appointments, give them their medication and reorder their food and meds.

Bills were paid by DD wherever possible. Otherwise I managed to get OH to write down all the bills etc and mark when they were paid and I'd check. Normally I dealt with finances. Due to work he was the primary carer for the children so most if their care was down to him. We had a family diary which recorded everything that needed to be done, we'd check it before I went away for work to make sure we each knew what was expected.

I'm a sahm at the moment but even when I do go back I'd imagine our set up wouldn't change. I do all the admin stuff and DH does the physical stuff. It works for us and I can't see it changing 😊

All me. I was a solicitor. Now I’m at home. DH is a tenant farmer. We have four young children.

he brings logs. I do the rest

Me except the cars. But I am a control freak so would be a wreck if DH suddenly wanted to seize control.

DH does a lot of the heavy lifting: driving kids to places, DIY, garden maintenance, decluttering, that sort of thing, which is his comfort zone like admin is mine!

We’ve just sort of found our zone I suppose and are both generally satisfied with it, as it plays to each of our strengths. I’m a planner and organiser, he’s a doer.

Actual parenting stuff is split pretty evenly. He does more bedtimes probably as I have a lot of stuff on in evenings.

I work three days and he works five, but I have quite a few voluntary commitments so am usually out of the house more.

Me as a single parent. I do all of it. Additional needs kids too. And work FT. I am broken on my knees however and wonder about continuing life as we all know it !