Page 6 | Email from my ex husband...

Beccaboo0979 · 10/04/2025 17:51

Mark as spam and continue enjoying life without the 'toilet- goblin' 😆

LyingSmilingInTheDark · 10/04/2025 17:45

C36M · 10/04/2025 17:43

It sounds like you may need some counselling if something like this is causing a reaction like this 20 years later. If you know the date just send it. Don’t let him see you are still bothered

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ODFOD.

And RTFT.

C36M · 10/04/2025 17:43

Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:12

Dear Arlanymor, sincerely hope you are well. I need to know the date of our wedding because I have to fill in an X form. Are you able to remember please? Best regards, Ex Wanker.

Sent to my WORK email. Which means he had to look it up online.

I divorced him for adultery nearly two decades ago now. Also the clue is in 'our wedding' isn't it? You were there on the day dickhead. We haven't been in contact since 2019 when he kept coming up as having looked at my profile on LinkedIn and I got in touch via their messenger to ask him not to.

This has got me so angry. "Oh Arlanymor - do me a favour please? Even though I am a cheating arsehole and should be able to fill in forms without bothering/the assistance of my ex-wife." The date is on the decree absolute you absolute toilet goblin.

FUMING. FUMING. FUMING.

It sounds like you may need some counselling if something like this is causing a reaction like this 20 years later. If you know the date just send it. Don’t let him see you are still bothered

Mikey87 · 10/04/2025 17:43

You broke up 2 decades ago, what are you fuming about?? Unless there are children involved just ignore it and carry on with your life.

JHound · 10/04/2025 17:36

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 15:33

So before I could send my response, he followed up with: I know it's THIS month and THIS year, but I can't remember the DAY is it this DAY?

So I responded: I can't remember. It will be on your decree absolute.

He replied: Yup, I can't find it. Also do you know the date of the decree absolute and location? Hope you are well by the way?

So I replied: I don't have any paperwork anymore. I have tried my best to forget all about it and you know why that is. You should have all of this from when you remarried - if you don't, then you need to apply for the paperwork again.

He's shut up now.

Oh sorry - saw the update. The cheek of this man.

The Cheek, The Nerve, The Audacity and The Gumption!

JHound · 10/04/2025 17:34

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 09:45

Morning all - really appreciate your responses. To answer issues raised throughout the thread.

Remarriage - he's already done that, I don't think it's about this, it's a military clearance issue and I don't think he is making it up, I think he genuinely does need to know it.
If he's gone to the trouble of finding out my work email then he could very well have found out this information himself and that's what he is going to do - I am NOT going to tell him, based on his behaviour and utter cheek.
I rarely think about him, I don't spend my life in sackcloth and ashes - but his name randomly popping up in the middle of a stressful work day put a jolt of shock through me and made me understandably angry - before this I have barely even thought about him in the past two decades.
We have an info@ WORK email address - shared by most of our team - and I wouldn't put it past him to try and contact me in that way if I don't reply - so to save that happening I will reply, this is what I intend to send:

I don't remember either.

Four words, that's it.

Given he could have emailed your collective mailbox I LOVE this response :)

StrangerThings1 · 10/04/2025 16:02

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 15:56

Indeed he is:

a) Do my admin for me
b) You don't mind if I stir up memories do you? I did say "I hope you're well!"

Cretinous Maximus.

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Cretinous Maximus 😂😂

Original poster

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 15:56

JustMyView13 · 10/04/2025 15:48

Good for you! What a CF thinking he can just swan into your life like this.

Indeed he is:

a) Do my admin for me
b) You don't mind if I stir up memories do you? I did say "I hope you're well!"

Cretinous Maximus.

OP posts:

JustMyView13 · 10/04/2025 15:48

Good for you! What a CF thinking he can just swan into your life like this.

Original poster

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 15:48

Andthispointstowhatexactly77 · 10/04/2025 15:39

Beautifully handled op 👏👏👏

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Thank you! Goes to show that even if I had given him the date he would have come back to ask the secondary questions anyhow and I bet he would have tried via the team email if I didn't respond. Think he gets the message now!

OP posts:

nomas · 10/04/2025 15:46

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 15:33

So before I could send my response, he followed up with: I know it's THIS month and THIS year, but I can't remember the DAY is it this DAY?

So I responded: I can't remember. It will be on your decree absolute.

He replied: Yup, I can't find it. Also do you know the date of the decree absolute and location? Hope you are well by the way?

So I replied: I don't have any paperwork anymore. I have tried my best to forget all about it and you know why that is. You should have all of this from when you remarried - if you don't, then you need to apply for the paperwork again.

He's shut up now.

What a twat. If you can’t remember the date of the wedding, why would you remember the date and location of the Decree Absolute?

Andthispointstowhatexactly77 · 10/04/2025 15:39

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 15:33

So before I could send my response, he followed up with: I know it's THIS month and THIS year, but I can't remember the DAY is it this DAY?

So I responded: I can't remember. It will be on your decree absolute.

He replied: Yup, I can't find it. Also do you know the date of the decree absolute and location? Hope you are well by the way?

So I replied: I don't have any paperwork anymore. I have tried my best to forget all about it and you know why that is. You should have all of this from when you remarried - if you don't, then you need to apply for the paperwork again.

He's shut up now.

Beautifully handled op 👏👏👏

Andthispointstowhatexactly77 · 10/04/2025 15:37

diddl · 09/04/2025 17:42

"No, I can't remember either".

Did you know it was from him before you read it?

If so, just delete in future?

I can’t remember either is the perfect response!

Edited to say: x posts sorry!
See there has been an update!

Original poster

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 15:33

So before I could send my response, he followed up with: I know it's THIS month and THIS year, but I can't remember the DAY is it this DAY?

So I responded: I can't remember. It will be on your decree absolute.

He replied: Yup, I can't find it. Also do you know the date of the decree absolute and location? Hope you are well by the way?

So I replied: I don't have any paperwork anymore. I have tried my best to forget all about it and you know why that is. You should have all of this from when you remarried - if you don't, then you need to apply for the paperwork again.

He's shut up now.

OP posts:

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/04/2025 15:15

It's so dismissive and hurtful he could have asked anyone or looked through his old emails the lazy bastard

ColourlessGreenIdeasSleepFuriously · 10/04/2025 14:42

How is replying with the date easier than binning and blocking? Why would she answer a request that is clearly making her seethe rather than just ignore it?

SpringIsSpringing25 · 10/04/2025 13:54

ColourlessGreenIdeasSleepFuriously · 10/04/2025 12:10

You are still spectacularly missing the point, duh or no duh. She could have achieved the same zen like inner peace by binning the email and blocking him, without doing lazy man baby a favour she didn't want to.

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No, I am not spectacularly missing the point.

I simply don't agree with you.

In MY opinion, it would have been far easier to have just replied with the date then it was all over and done with in a few seconds.

There are other email addresses he could try and other ways he could try to contact her if he wants to dragging out the whole drama.

You are entitled to your opinion. You can say you disagree with my opinion. But I am not spectacularly missing the point because I don't agree with you.

Vatsallfolks · 10/04/2025 13:48

The thing that would give me the MOST rage is an ex husband STILL expecting me to do the life admin.. 2 decades after divorce !! Bet he still doesn’t remember his mother’s birthday and new wife buys the card …. Grrrr

EilishMcCandlish · 10/04/2025 12:49

Hate requires emotional energy, which he does not deserve from you. That said, your anger at him emailing you is completely justified, as he had zero right to expect you to still do his life admin for him.

Your proposed response is perfect because it says complete indifference which is all he deserves from you after 20 years.

Lunde · 10/04/2025 12:45

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 12:05

He's mentioned why and I think it's legitimate, but it's a military thing so I don't want to go into too much detail on here. He should really get hold of another copy and that's what he'll have to do.

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Is he being re-vetted for a security clearance?

Well if he entitled to security clearance then he should be clever enough to work out how to find out the information - it may cost him a few pounds but it's not hard.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 10/04/2025 12:18

Just block him in mimecast and have done with it. If you think he might contact a general email address tell IT he's harassing you and get him blocked there too. I wouldn't give him the time of day.

ColourlessGreenIdeasSleepFuriously · 10/04/2025 12:10

SpringIsSpringing25 · 10/04/2025 11:52

Don't 'doh' me.

He went to the trouble of finding her work email, she admits there are other work emails he could use,

He hasn't contacted her in many years and she knows his need for the date is genuine so he's not just making up an excuse to contact her.

Far more effort and energy and thought going into all of this business is necessary, it could've been done and dusted in two seconds by simply replying with the date.

But still seems many people would rather make a huge big deal of it🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

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You are still spectacularly missing the point, duh or no duh. She could have achieved the same zen like inner peace by binning the email and blocking him, without doing lazy man baby a favour she didn't want to.

Eddielizzard · 10/04/2025 12:08

can't remember

two words better than 4 imo

Original poster

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 12:05

ginasevern · 10/04/2025 12:02

He may have lost the Decree Absolute, as have you OP. I'd be more concerned with what he wants the information for to be honest.

He's mentioned why and I think it's legitimate, but it's a military thing so I don't want to go into too much detail on here. He should really get hold of another copy and that's what he'll have to do.

OP posts:

Original poster

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 12:04

lazycats · 10/04/2025 11:59

Honestly, you sound way too angry about this. Indifference is the opposite of love, not rage.

No hate is the opposite of love. Not indifference.

His email made me angry, because it was anger-inducing.

OP posts: