Email from my ex husband...

Well done, OP. Hopefully, will shut him down. I’d have ignored and explained to my workplace he doesn’t have my permission to contact me at work. So if he’d tried another route, he’d have received an officious reply. Workplaces should have policies for supporting and protecting survivors of domestic abuse.

If I had to reply to avoid him trying other routes, I’d have said: “I can’t help you. Do not contact me again”. Unless you want to leave the door open to him contacting you (e.g. on some important matter) best to be assertive in making clear to him he doesn’t have your permission.

The CF. “Hope you are well by the way?” The audacity. Obviously no sense of shame or responsibility for his actions. As if you believe or care that he hopes you’re well. And “by the way?” - an insulting, vacuous afterthought.

Also, how do you even know it’s him? Or is it an original email address. Or the general CFery?

Isn't it just.

It seems to fall into two camps, and god knows I've been there myself:

1. Those who have truly never considered that women do not owe lazy, entitled men (especially those who have treated them like dirt) their time and labour.
2. Those who think women's time and effort can be portioned off piecemeal to said men to appease them and avoid worse (and who are poised to be utterly bewildered when their toilet goblin starts jackbooting into Poland nonetheless).

It's an actual effort to fight the way most of us are socialised and just refuse to engage.

After me saying I’m indifferent to my ex (I am) something has cropped up that has annoyed me too (I guess my indifference is not immune to annoyance). I have already plotted my little payback (I won’t say revenge) when the opportunity crops up in the future.

I think you’re handling it very well.

I'm glad he's shut up after your last reply. Clearly he was hoping for interaction beyond you carrying out his bloody admin for him. I imagine he thought you'd be thrilled he'd made contact with you after so long and would be keen on a catch up 😂. Hopefully that's the last you'll ever hear from him.

Of course it made you angry - why wouldn't it?

I get angry with people who piss me off. It certainly doesn't mean I've ever been in love with them!

I don't know what is wrong with some people on this thread!

@Arlanymor tell him you don't remember and then mark his email as junk so he can't message you again.

Nasty man ! This kind of man should not know any of your details !
thats why he sent it to your work email that he has .
its disgusting and I understand how even if you try not to let it get to you . You are 100% correct it's rubbing old wounds that you pray never to remember but please ignorance is the best for idiots like this !
take care

I like this one! Because I’m very petty, tbf.

Not lol, at all. Thats actually really sad.

Oh come on, she clearly said why she had to reply - he’s the type to try contacting her again but more publicly.

I think she handled it very well, she shut it down and clearly communicated that she’s not there to do his admin anymore.

I'd write back and say I'm glad you got on contact as I've recently found out that we aren't legally divorced. Would appreciate you sorting that out. Then block him.

That’s sad and not your responsibility to remind him

Well done OP. Handled beautifully 👏🏼

Personally I would just answer the correct date , nothing else . My husband of 3 years can't always remember the date of ours , lol 🙄🤣

I believe his reason for needing it. My husband often has to have high level security clearance and that even requires names of anyone he used to live with in a house share / rental. But yes, he could have found it another way. It's an excuse to make contact. I'd be annoyed too. X

Toilet goblin 😂😅😂
Isn't he just. 🚽

So he emailed again, before you'd had chance to reply the first time? Peak CF. No wonder you were pissed off.

In our home life admin, housework and parenting are all joint tasks. If I don't do wifework for my actual husband, the hell would I do it for an entitled ex! A second inquiry into your wellbeing does tend to suggest he might have been trying to open a dialogue, so in view of this your reply hits the mark pretty well. The only response he'd have got from me is silence, but hopefully from this point he will reward you with the courtesy of his.

The thread's an eye-opener, though. It's surprising how many women would immediately capitulate to the entitled demands of whiny, lazy men. Others will treat you as you allow yourself to be treated.

What an A hole.
Honestly you're well rid of him 😎

Absolutely!

What a pr*ck

I would have just given the date and moved on. No pleasantries, just the date and year. Simple as that. It's been 2 decades and you're still angry. It ain't worth it.

I’d reply telling him unfortunately you can’t remember either.

If I were you I'd reply really nicely - wishing him well and everything ... and give him the wrong date.

If OP responds he’ll come back and ask if she’ll send him a copy.

Toilet goblin! 😂

I stopped being involved in sorting your life admin as of <insert divorce date> remember?

Really?