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Original poster

Email from my ex husband...

458 replies

Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:12

Dear Arlanymor, sincerely hope you are well. I need to know the date of our wedding because I have to fill in an X form. Are you able to remember please? Best regards, Ex Wanker.

Sent to my WORK email. Which means he had to look it up online.

I divorced him for adultery nearly two decades ago now. Also the clue is in 'our wedding' isn't it? You were there on the day dickhead. We haven't been in contact since 2019 when he kept coming up as having looked at my profile on LinkedIn and I got in touch via their messenger to ask him not to.

This has got me so angry. "Oh Arlanymor - do me a favour please? Even though I am a cheating arsehole and should be able to fill in forms without bothering/the assistance of my ex-wife." The date is on the decree absolute you absolute toilet goblin.

FUMING. FUMING. FUMING.

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 10/04/2025 22:50

Your next reply ought to be along the lines of:

Actually, I've only ever seen the decree nisi. I have no memory of a decree absolute.

Then radio silence for a bit...

GarlicSmile · 10/04/2025 22:42

Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:31

I did wonder about that because it's on the bloody decree absolute! I think that's why it gave me a bit of a lurch in my stomach because he absolutely can get that information in other ways.

Show quote history

I haven't got my decree absolute or marriage certificate. It's a bummer because some entities unexpectedly require the evidence.

However, I didn't contact my ex-twat (or toilet goblin 😂). You could suggest doing what I did - go on Ancestry to find the details!

OVienna · 10/04/2025 22:35

April 1st, tell him.

InTheWindow · 10/04/2025 22:13

My ex got the date of our wedding and separation wrong when he applied for legal aid to divorce me. Shouldn’t really have surprised me, he could never remember my birthday either, and despite all the displays in shops Mother’s Day always caught him by surprise.

Hotflushesandchilblains · 10/04/2025 21:48

FindingNeverland28 · 10/04/2025 21:46

I would reply, but make it look like an automated response.

“Your email has not been received. The recipient is unable to receive emails from adulterous toilet goblins.”

This is bloody genius!

Azureshores · 10/04/2025 21:47

Tbf I can never remember if we married on the 28th or 29th of July and it was only 4 years ago!

FindingNeverland28 · 10/04/2025 21:46

I would reply, but make it look like an automated response.

“Your email has not been received. The recipient is unable to receive emails from adulterous toilet goblins.”

OhcantthInkofaname · 10/04/2025 21:44

I like the "who dis" response!!!

LisbonJacaranda · 10/04/2025 21:21

I genuinely can’t remember the date of my wedding in the late 1990s so I would have had to say the twelfth of never.

Fogey · 10/04/2025 21:18

CrystalMighty · 10/04/2025 19:24

Toilet goblin 😂😅😂
Isn't he just. 🚽

Brilliant description 🤣@

funinthesun19 · 10/04/2025 21:10

“I can’t remember” is the best reply.

It doesn’t look petty and won’t make him think he still bothers you. He’ll just think you can’t remember like he can’t.
And will also make him realise that you don’t give a stuff about the date of the wedding if you can’t remember it.

ChkChkBoom · 10/04/2025 21:09

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 18:03

Possibly, but I think I have made it abundantly clear that I don’t. He’s not responded since, so hopefully that has shut everything down.

Show quote history

I don't think it's that at all. He needed the information, and chose the easiest/fee free route, without considering your feelings on any level (you won't have crossed his mind once since he emailed, other than to check if you'd provided the info yet). You've given it way too much head space. I'm not saying this to be cruel btw, quite the opposite - dwelling on it has been pointless, and has affected your mood (if you continue dwelling, it will continue to affect your mood).

Missj25 · 10/04/2025 21:08

UndermyShoeJoe · 09/04/2025 17:19

Sorry who’s this?

block and delete 🤣

👌🤣🤣

Hotflushesandchilblains · 10/04/2025 21:02

I had a friend (oveseas) whose arse of an ex, after not paying a penny in maintenance for 14 years, had to change his status with his military service which brought this to light. His superiors ordered him to pay and he had the effrontery to contact her and ask her to let him off. She took great pleasure in refusing and in spending the money he had to pay her. She, like OP, was not particularly dwelling on the past - it was the sheer bloody CF behaviour that she was reacting to. I would not have lied either, OP, but think I would have kept my response to 'look it up'.

SparklesGlitter · 10/04/2025 21:00

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 18:03

Possibly, but I think I have made it abundantly clear that I don’t. He’s not responded since, so hopefully that has shut everything down.

Show quote history

Fingers crossed for you.you don’t need that kind of game in your life 😊

OurChristmasMiracle · 10/04/2025 20:52

I would be (having cleared with manager first) replying with dear toilet goblin this email is strictly for business purposes and personal data is strictly prohibited from being shared

FlowerFairy12 · 10/04/2025 20:48

😂 When my ex-husband asked (through our son) for a copy of our divorce papers so he could get remarried, I took great pleasure in telling him to go and order his own. I’m not normally petty like that but he’d never paid CMS so why should I save him a tenner when he won’t even pay money he’s legally obliged to?!! Oh how DH and I laughed 😝

mumda · 10/04/2025 20:42

Arlanymor · 10/04/2025 09:29

Giving him the correct date would make me unhappy - why should I?

Show quote history

Get your line manager to deal with this perhaps.
Get them to tell him not to harass staff

RavenhairedRachel · 10/04/2025 20:41

Give the Tosser the wrong date.

Loub1987 · 10/04/2025 20:34

Amazing that two decades after a marriage, the wife is still responsible for the life admin in his head!!

Can totally understand why reading it was jarring @Arlanymor .

lavenderlolly · 10/04/2025 20:34

OP
just reply and say you can’t remember either!

Butchyrestingface · 10/04/2025 20:27

We haven't been in contact since 2019 when he kept coming up as having looked at my profile on LinkedIn and I got in touch via their messenger to ask him not to.

I wouldn't have messaged him then. The block facility on LinkedIn is there for a reason.

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 10/04/2025 20:23

People really need to learn the difference between not letting go of hurt from 20 years ago and being irritated at something that happened today. He was disrespectful and tone deaf.

Lollipop81 · 10/04/2025 20:14

After 20 years I’d be struggling to remember his name no matter how much he hurt me 🤣 block and move on. Don’t let him take up anymore headspace.

AFrankExchangeofViews · 10/04/2025 20:06

Definitely reply with the wrong date and be adamant about it if he queries. For a laugh and to cause trouble, might as well make lemonade 😊

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