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Original poster

Email from my ex husband...

458 replies

Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:12

Dear Arlanymor, sincerely hope you are well. I need to know the date of our wedding because I have to fill in an X form. Are you able to remember please? Best regards, Ex Wanker.

Sent to my WORK email. Which means he had to look it up online.

I divorced him for adultery nearly two decades ago now. Also the clue is in 'our wedding' isn't it? You were there on the day dickhead. We haven't been in contact since 2019 when he kept coming up as having looked at my profile on LinkedIn and I got in touch via their messenger to ask him not to.

This has got me so angry. "Oh Arlanymor - do me a favour please? Even though I am a cheating arsehole and should be able to fill in forms without bothering/the assistance of my ex-wife." The date is on the decree absolute you absolute toilet goblin.

FUMING. FUMING. FUMING.

OP posts:
StartAnew · 09/04/2025 19:40

Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:32

Not the same situation though is it.

Show quote history

No, forgetting it is not the point; it's casually contacting your estranged ex wife rather than bothering to look it up on the paperwork he must have. Idiot. At least that's a little reminder of how much better off you are without him OP.

Daisy12Maisie · 09/04/2025 19:39

Completely ignore. Anything else opens up the lines of communication.

category12 · 09/04/2025 19:37

Semiramide · 09/04/2025 19:34

Absolutely no point getting so worked up about this.

Don't give him the satisfaction of getting a rise out of you.

instead reply with the (correct) date and block him.

And get on with your - hopefully happy - life without him.

Show quote history

She can just go straight ahead and block him. Why give him the date?

She's not his secretary and she doesn't have to do his braining for him. He's just too lazy and entitled to work it out himself, expects a woman to do it for him.

Bananasyousay · 09/04/2025 19:37

Tell him to fuck off! Outrageous

Semiramide · 09/04/2025 19:34

Arlanymor · 09/04/2025 17:23

It's not control to be fair, I think it's just my immediate reaction. The fact that he thinks it's fine after everything he did to casually pop into my work inbox like I am some free admin service. And 'best regards' - bland corporate politeness like it's a favour he's even entitled to ask. More than anything it's the shock because seeing his name in my inbox really did make my heart stop for a moment - I think it would to anyone to be fair. Even if you know you are better off without someone, old wounds twinge when they are poked.

Show quote history

Absolutely no point getting so worked up about this.

Don't give him the satisfaction of getting a rise out of you.

instead reply with the (correct) date and block him.

And get on with your - hopefully happy - life without him.

harriethoyle · 09/04/2025 19:30

It’s not about whether @Arlanymor is bitter it’s the sheer entitlement of expecting your ex to do your leg work for something HE could easily find out!!

On the plus side, you now have his email address to block him. I wouldn’t reply to him personally.

I’m also stealing toilet goblin as an insult 🤣

TimeForATerf · 09/04/2025 19:30

JHound · 09/04/2025 18:16

I would delete it without response.

Me too, 💯, you owe him nothing. Not even a the courtesy of a reply.

Findmethesmallestviolin · 09/04/2025 19:30

I think it must be 6/6/66

AngelicKaty · 09/04/2025 19:30

@Arlanymor Or maybe you could send him this link as your reply: https://www.freebmd.org.uk/search 😉

FreeBMD - Search

https://www.freebmd.org.uk/search

TimeForATerf · 09/04/2025 19:27

Fabellini · 09/04/2025 18:04

“I think I’d probably reply, I’m sorry I don’t remember, but I know it’s in the decree absolute. I no longer have my copy to hand so you’ll need to dig out your one”
I wouldn’t help him, but I wouldn’t give the wrong date either.
And I understand why it’s caught you off guard op, I wouldn’t like that either.

But you are helping him with this response, you’re telling him how to find the information he needs.

AngelicKaty · 09/04/2025 19:26

@Arlanymor "The fact that he thinks it's fine after everything he did to casually pop into my work inbox like I am some free admin service." I absolutely get this OP and I'd be shocked and livid too. Who the actual f*ck does he think he is?!
As tempted as I might be to reply "Who is this?", I do like a pp's suggestion to send him entirely the wrong date (because wouldn't it be funny if he replied, "No, that's not right" - that would be a real gotcha! 😉)
I think it's weird that he seems to be using this as an excuse to re-establish contact with you which is why, despite the temptation to reply, I'd delete his email without replying, but marking it as junk first to ensure that's where any further missives would end up.

Whooowhooohoo · 09/04/2025 19:23

100% would NOT hand it to him on a platter. He is not your problem any more … he will have found it before you reply. He was just looking for a shortcut to do whatever paperwork … just could not be bothered to look in his “impt papers” folder which is no doubt stuffed with divorce papers, Pre-nups etc.

This request is lowest priority …

Andsoitbeganagain · 09/04/2025 19:23

I'd say it must be important to contact you out of the blue like that. For that reason I would absolutely tell him I couldn't remember.

ThisChic · 09/04/2025 19:23

Aliflowers · 09/04/2025 17:18

I’d reply I can’t remember.

This!!

printLine · 09/04/2025 19:22

“Ooh, that’s going back a bit. I think it was April as the tulips were out. Though could have been May I suppose”

Lunde · 09/04/2025 19:20

"I'm sorry but I have expunged our entire marriage from my mind"

whatisheupto · 09/04/2025 19:20

I'd be very surprised if it isn't just an excuse to get back in touch with you.

What form could possibly need this date?!

lifeonmars100 · 09/04/2025 19:20

Tell him you have had extensive and very successful therapy which has had the side effect of obliterating the date from your mind

Catastrophejane · 09/04/2025 19:20

nomas · 09/04/2025 19:12

He’s trying to kill two birds with one stone - try to
force you to acknowledge / remember him and also let you know that he doesn’t deem
you important enough to remember your wedding date.

Men like this would take you giving him the information as proof you still care about him.

I agree with this.

As amusing as the suggested responses are, ignoring him is the best strategy.

His motivation for getting in touch is unknown, but it won’t be good.

He’s either looking to get in touch, is bored in his marriage and is getting nostalgic, wants to reassure himself you are still heartbroken about him, or actually wants to make you feel small by saying he can’t remember your wedding day.

Silence is the best response

MesmerisingMuon · 09/04/2025 19:20

YABU to be fuming.

Block and delete. He's not worth this level of effort to get mad about.

Wafflesandcrepes · 09/04/2025 19:19

You’re not supposed to use work email for personal stuff in lots of workplaces. Correct procedure here is to mark as spam and delete. Job done.

MumWifeOther · 09/04/2025 19:17

Just reply say “Can’t remember, sorry”

CantStopMoving · 09/04/2025 19:16

Reply with ‘sorry who is this?’

Ohnobackagain · 09/04/2025 19:14

@Arlanymor “Hi, sorry, no, don’t recall but it was on the decree absolute; my copy was lost in a move. You must have one though from your re-marriage?”

EilishMcCandlish · 09/04/2025 19:14

'That's not really my problem to fix for you.'

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