Happyspendingthedayinthegarden ·
09/04/2025 16:55
First World Problem I'm afraid.
For context. DH & me fell in love when I bought the house opposite his. We've been married for nearly 3 years & still maintain separate households, though in reality we spend most of our time at my place as I have a little dog & my garden is dog-proof.
Over the years I have collected a vast collection of a ceramics from a very well known Art Deco designer. TBH it's got rather ridiculous in that I seriously do have a VAST collection including a dinner service that's still stored in bubble wrap & in boxes! I admit that my collection needs to be pruned & I have been drip-feeding items onto eBay for several months.
DH & me have decided that the time is right for us to consolidate our assets & buy somewhere together. It's rather ridiculous that we're paying 2 lots of council tax, gas, electric, water etc. We have had an offer accepted on a very well-maintained bungalow with the vendors leaving most White goods & lots of other furniture.
Discussing what we move & what we get rid of is proving to be a...well...sticking point. DH is saying no room for my Art Deco stuff - I agree & have said that I'm selling it as fast as I can, but don't want to 'flood the market'. If I put it all on at once I won't get anything like it's value. Also, I only have 2 hands, work 3 days a week & it's impossible for me to answer buyer's questions, pack & take more than about 5 boxes to the PO in a week as well as working, housework, maintaining both our gardens etc.
I'm saying 'give me time' I will prune the collection & only want to keep the complete sets that are worth thousands - we are talking a Big Name Art Deco designer & I want to hang on to the coffee sets & early stuff as it forms part of his daughter's & my son's inheritance.
I've said that it ranks as important to me as his cricket balls & trophies that he won when at <public> school that he wants to keep.
He says that I should get in touch with local auction house & sell the lot. I'm saying 'No' because prices have depreciated & will sell for more in a few years.
Don't get me started on the argument about my G.G. Grandmother's early 19thC gateleg mahogany dining table - already said that's non-negotiable as many memories spent enjoying dinners with my family around that. But he's saying no room.
Trouble is his parents left very little (well nothing) to him & his brothers & I don't think that he understands the value of something that you've inherited.
I've asked him what he keeps in the <modern MDF) cabinet that he's so keen on keeping & suggested that there is room for his cricket balls & school trophies in my 19C china cabinet inherited from my grandmother (with lovely inlaid veneer)
Am wondering if we should withdraw our offer & stay as we are. However, it's very expensive living separately & this house is lovely with wrap around sunny landscaped garden, utility room, 2nd loo - everything I could wish for & so unlike that either of us have ATM....
Also I love the very bones of him & want to share my life with him.
You may see from PP from me that I have concerns about his memory & wondering if this is part of on-coming dementia? EG: unable to see soemone else's POV? He wants to get rid of my lovely 19thC furniture in favour of his modern crap.
WWYD?