Who does these things?

I genuinely collect it every single time.

I have a giant breed dog so if she poops at the start of the walk then it's just easier for me to leave it and collect on the way back. I couldn't hang it off a tree though, I'm too short and the poo bag would be too heavy.

Is your DH a real-life version of Martin Goodman from Friday Night Dinner or something? 🤭😂

We bought (well, DH) bought gallons of bleach pre lock down. Fuck me why? I never clean with bleach(sets my asthma off, Plus-DH actually doing any bleach requiring cleaning would be miraculous) I still have a huge bottle under the sink.

I had a petrol shortage theory that applies to toilet roll

No, he wouldn't buy more, but there is no way on earth he would pick up poo, to hang it on trees or otherwise.

With the toilet roll thing, people wanted to feel in control of something; because like now (albeit on the other side of the Atlantic), there was an unpredictable childish psychopath in charge of the country, who might do something catastrophic, on a whim. And because the government (and mumsnetters) cranked levels of fear up to astronomical levels, people panicked.

I haven’t forgotten the panic buying of petrol in 2022, or indeed 2000. All it takes is a small hint that something might run out, and people panic. Advertisers know this; that’s why they say “hurry! Limited stock, buy now!” It was hinted that there were limited vaccines as well, and so people rushed out to get them, as soon as they were eligible.

Who were (are) the people driving around in cars on their own wearing a face mask! 😂

Who are the people that have toddlers and don't have reins but get annoyed when their toddler runs off especially when it's close to a road?

Who are the people that get a dog based on its looks rather than its breed requirements and then have a reactive dog with behavioural problems because they are utterly clueless in socialising it and giving the correct diet and exercise?

Who are the people that let children run around in restaurants?

Who are the people that bleat about being overweight whilst eating absolutely crap in vast quantise every day?

Who are the people that drive around without using their indicators or looking in their rear or side mirrors?

Who are the people that park wonky in parking spaces and seem incapable of straightening their car?

Who are the people that spend a lot of money on their trainers to provide shock abortion for their feet and joints on hard roads and pavements but expect their dog to run at an unnatural gate (unless it's a Husky) with their joints taking a bashing?

Who are the people that park on pavement so that anyone in a wheelchair or with a pushchair has to walk out into the road to get past them?

Who are the people that voted Labour in? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Would he have to buy more for the dog?

My brother bought loads and loads of toilet rolls, he still does. He lives alone and unless he has, at least, 48 toilet rolls he seems to think he will run out.
Luckily he doesn't have a dog.

Mentally ill ( although don’t want to tar all people with mental illness with the same brush) or just the low life dregs of society that contribute nothing to the world

I don't leave poos in trees, but I do know the answer to this - it's so other dogs don't wee on it or eat it.

I did once hide a poo bag behind a tree stump to collect later as the dog pooped right at the start of a long circular no bin walk. I collected it at the end.

No idea about the poo bags thing, which is just absolutely revolting, but I did stock up a bit extra on loo rolls when they had periods of time when they weren't short in supply - I do have a bowel condition and when it flares up I can go through it pretty quickly and I wanted to make sure I had enough in incase that happened AND if there was bad shortages again. I always have one pack on the go and another unused, so just kept an extra unused pack in. I didn't have mountains of it in a spare room or anything 🤣

It’s weird isn’t it? I walk on a huge open space, think hundreds of acres, and nearly every day I come across piles of drinks cans, take away boxes etc where people have sat themselves down to enjoy the open space , the bird song etc etc and have a picnic . Except that having gone to the trouble of carrying the full drinks cans and food containers to their chosen spot far from everything they then can’t be arsed to pick up the empty stuff, put it back into the carrier bag that they used to carry it, which they have also discarded, and take it to a bin, or home with them. I honestly can’t fathom the mindset of an entire group of people not one of whom has the common sense/ social grace/ respect for the environment to take five seconds to pick up their crap to take home.

So... the dog poo bag thing I have done ONLY when she pooed at the start of a circular walk or an out and back route as a) big dog big poos and wrangling her while holding massive steaming bag of shite wasn't ideal if there was an alternative and b) I always and I mean ALWAYS grabbed it and binned it on the return journey and c) chose a discreet Branch out of the way so it wasnt near anyone walking...

That's actually a good idea. I know where he lives and that way he will know he's been caught out and hopefully will stop doing it out of embarrassment.

Well the area/time I go I'm usually on my own anyway, I havent seen another dog walker for months on my dogs main walk, theres nobody around for fines either. If I go at busy times or in busy areas then I wouldn't do it.

Be prepared for a fine. I’m not sure collecting it on your way back would wash because so many people clearly forget.

From a tree? Why not leave it at the bottom of the tree, it makes more sense.

You can be fined £100 and up to £1,000 if prosecuted for dog fouling.

I’d print out the guidance and post it through his door as a reminder.

I didn't stockpile loo rolls from the supermarket during covid instead I ordered 4 huge industrial size machine toilet rolls online. They arrived 4 days later and it literally took me 2 years to use them up.
Remember that if there is ever another pandemic.

Someone (I can't think who) once told me they hang poobags to collect and dispose of on their way back, rather than carry the poo with them for their walk, although if this is what people are thinking, 1. Still not OK and 2. They clearly don't.

@FreshOutOfFucks i knew somone years ago who went out with someone who was a toilet shit smearer if rumours were to be believed he also asked her to piss on him as part of sex so presumably for him part of a fetish.