DS(8) not invited to party

Yes I understand what you mean. Maybe you should book it elsewhere after all, I won’t take any offense.

She is a serious cf. You/your oh have been way too generous offering it up. No good deed goes unpunished

She has def back tracked and quite right too

tho agree about the insurance thing. Is it a dangerous sport - will you need extra insurance

In all honesty, she's probably right. It is a bad idea for her DS to have his party in the garden of one of his guests, and for it to involve an activity he's never done, could be rubbish at, and that your DS does well. I can imagine well how your DS could end up the centre of attention with the other boys and the birthday child be disappointed. But the time to think of that was before she accepted your offer, and then, realising she couldn't possibly expect DS not to attend, thank you and decline. Personally I'd be saying on reflection I agree it's a bad idea, and you should find somewhere else. If it goes ahead and your DS is there there's a good chance it won't go well, and I bet your DS will get the blame!

Ask if her brass neck had been weighing her down recently. Dare ya!!! 😅😅😅

Cf is obviously a mner...

If the party happens please bribe your son to attend in full sports uniform and make a grand entrance to music dribbling, tumbling, vaulting, whatever it is. Bonus invite a friend for your DS.

Perhaps you could say the garden let for the party was the birthday gift, but no invite no gift so no use of garden.

I'm sorry you've been taken advantage of. Be very firm and clear otherwise she might still try to exclude him on the day.

she has backtracked and apologised saying she wasn’t not inviting him just worried about how party being at DS’s house would affect the day for her DS

Call her bluff. “Of course - quite understand that it would be better to host it elsewhere. Probably better for us in any case as we can now have our patio relaid/host MIL’s aerobics class/have a nude life drawing class in the garden instead. Hope your DS has a super day!” And then don’t answer your phone any further…..

Glad she's seen sense but really, what an idiot she is.

If her son is actually negatively affected by your son's presence (which I'm betting he actually won't be and this is all in her head) it's because his lunatic of a mother has encouraged him to believe that he is her perfect little prince who must always win everything. If that's the case then she has failed as a parent, because there will be far worse disappointments in life than another boy being better than him at Quidditch on his birthday.

If she was worried about how the party being held at your house would affect her DS, why the hell did she ask if she could hold it there? Idiot woman.

How very strange …

Wow! That’s a new level of CF!

You need to tell her it's cancelled, she is beyond a CF, if you don't feel confident write down what you want to say and call her, say you DH is here listening and thinks I must have misheard that you didn't want our DS in his own home while she had a party for other children because he did not have an invite, or your DH should tell her. You need to just tell her straight, your son is your priority. Or you could just say after further thought I've decided to inform you that our property is for our family use only so kindly f off

I bet she did backtrack quickly -she must have shit herself when your message came through and she was potentially losing her free venue!!!

Just when I thought I had heard it all!!! This can surely go on the 'CF Story of the Year' thread.

Absolutely unbelievable! The bloody cheek!

Btw you were very kind to even offer your house as a venue in the beginning. Pleeeeease make sure she clears up after the party and doesn't leave you to do it!

I don’t understand the number of people on this thread saying give her a “get out clause”. That’s why CFs are CFs. People don’t call them out so they continue to try to get away with it. I’d have pulled the plug immediately and made it clear to everyone I know why I did that. It’s the only way they learn.

she has backtracked and apologised saying she wasn’t not inviting him just worried about how party being at DS’s house would affect the day for her DS

That is what she said though isn't it?

She’s now said that she doesn’t think my DS should come as she’s worried the fact it’s his house/garden and he is good at the sport will take the shine of her DS and people will think it’s my DS’s day instead.

I imagine she was hoping that you would say of course you understood & would make sure that your son wasn't there.

For me the best reply now would be that as it all seems quite awkward now (& she'd obviously prefer your son to not be there) it's best if she finds elsewhere.

Please, please don’t blame it on insurance or anything you’ve done/ not done. You will only end up indebted to this absolute CF. And she will still slag you off for offering a favour without having all the appropriate measures in place.

This is a rare situation where you can just let her explain herself - and you will only come out of this looking good.

I’m in complete agreement with PP who’ve said you shouldn’t have to beg for your son to attend a party for his friend in his house using his equipment. Everyone will be able to see that xx

I actually think I would say it doesn't suit any more as we are having the garden covered in fertiliser. Which i would absolutely arrange to be delivered just in time.

Ask what is she suggesting you do with your child it’s not really fair he gets to watch from a window 🙀if she still has a problem say that will be fine she will need to find a different venue as obviously you were doing her a favour but not at the detriment of your own child she’s being massively unfair hear let her use a local park

Alternative answer:

"No, it's not OK to exclude James from a party that we are letting you host in our garden. That is an absolutely outrageous thing to suggest. You have no right to say that James is not invited to an event that is taking place in his own home. Since I don't want him to feel hurt and embarrassed, I am giving you the opportunity to withdraw your request, we can forget this conversation ever happened and I won't mention it to anyone else. Otherwise, the deal is off and you will need to find another venue for your party."

WTAF??!! I can't believe this OP. You are offering your garden and equipment for free and she wasn't going to invite the boy who actually lives there??
This would leave a very bad taste in my mouth but I personally wouldn't have offered in the first place.

When I saw this thread title I was ready for another ‘my little Larry and Barry from his class have openly despised each other for three years. Larry hasn’t been invited to his party, should I text the Mum?’ But, no, this situation is completely mental. She wins CF of the week for sure. 🎖

Well done OP!

Well done! I don’t think I’d have known what to say. What an awful woman. I’d get the party out the way, but be putting some distance between us after that.

I bet she has seen the thread!!!