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AIBU?

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DS(8) not invited to party

562 replies

idontunderstandwhy · 09/04/2025 14:01

Dh used to compete and be a sports coach so we have a section of our garden built up and dedicated to that sport. He just teaches our dc and they play there now.

Ds has mostly had garden parties and then and on play dates his friends play there also.

Mum of one of his friends at a past play date mentioned her ds would love to learn do the sport and do something like this for his birthday but couldn’t find anywhere near.
Dh said that he’s welcome to come and practice whenever and actually could have party here if she couldn’t find anywhere else.

It was then agreed her ds could have his party in our garden and borrow equipment we had but that obviously over wise party organising is her responsibility. She has other entertainment, food arranged ect, party is quite soon.

She’s now said that she doesn’t think my DS should come as she’s worried the fact it’s his house/garden and he is good at the sport will take the shine of her DS and people will think it’s my DS’s day instead. And as it’s an out of school friend he would only know a few of kids anyway.

She never specifically said ds was invited we just assumed and we probably agreed based on that assumption.

I don’t think its fair to have ds locked in the house or taken out when his friends and boys his age playing in our garden and am shocked she thinks this is an okay suggestion.

AIBU it’s only fair ds goes?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
OzMumOf3Boys · 28/07/2025 13:03

So what happened?

TaupeLemur · 28/07/2025 12:42

The brass neck of Some people!!!

chibuahua · 28/07/2025 06:39

Dearnurse · 28/07/2025 01:51

I would 10000% say that if your son cannot attend then your house & garden is no longer available, I wouldn't care one bit if it put her out even if it was the day before absolute CF !

This is an old thread from April

Dearnurse · 28/07/2025 01:51

I would 10000% say that if your son cannot attend then your house & garden is no longer available, I wouldn't care one bit if it put her out even if it was the day before absolute CF !

Morph22010 · 28/07/2025 00:43

ChicTealCat · 20/07/2025 09:49

What a cheek ! Of course your son should be invited to a party in his own garden. I certainly wouldn’t want such an ignorant woman thinking she could use our garden for a party anyway, whether invited or not. Stop it now before it goes any further, say something like you had forgotten that you were having friends and their families over on that day. Really sorry but you need the garden to keep them entertained. What an awful woman ! Such unbelievable rudeness. Good luck and just put your foot down !

Party has been and gone months ago

ChicTealCat · 20/07/2025 09:49

What a cheek ! Of course your son should be invited to a party in his own garden. I certainly wouldn’t want such an ignorant woman thinking she could use our garden for a party anyway, whether invited or not. Stop it now before it goes any further, say something like you had forgotten that you were having friends and their families over on that day. Really sorry but you need the garden to keep them entertained. What an awful woman ! Such unbelievable rudeness. Good luck and just put your foot down !

Lbet · 20/07/2025 08:18

idontunderstandwhy · 09/04/2025 14:08

Thankyou for the replies, I hadn’t yet replied but needed to check I wasn’t being unreasonable and missing something.

Party is very soon and would be putting her out a lot to cancel. I think the most reasonable option would be to just insist it’s only fair that ds gets to go and I think she would agree to that above cancelling the whole party.

Most sensible thing to do.

RampantIvy · 20/04/2025 17:58

Timmygnome · 20/04/2025 17:46

That's a CF there for sure
And that's a no to the party

The party was yesterday.

OP has updated.

Timmygnome · 20/04/2025 17:46

That's a CF there for sure
And that's a no to the party

ChocolateAddictAlways · 20/04/2025 17:17

OP, it’s a shame she didn’t send you a proper thank you message afterwards. I think that’s the least one should do in this situation. And frankly most people would have bought a bunch of flowers or something else to show their appreciation given how much party mum saved by hosting in your garden. But well done for being the bigger/kinder person in this situation and showing grace. It’s a shame she’s losing out on a good friend due to her own behaviour.

Helen1625 · 20/04/2025 17:11

Thank you for the update. Glad it went OK and that she was appreciative of your hospitality. I think you've got the right idea, limiting contact going forward.

murasaki · 20/04/2025 16:51

idontunderstandwhy · 20/04/2025 16:32

Yes she did say Thank-you when they got there and before she left.
we wouldn’t have wanted a gift but maybe expected a proper Thankyou text once she got home or the next day.

Not unreasonable in the slightest to expect that. Cutting her off without spoiling the friendship between the boys will be a challenge, but I'd be avoiding her if possible. Strictly hello and goodbye. Good luck. And your DH needs to understand that it wasn't ok to say yes.

idontunderstandwhy · 20/04/2025 16:32

Yes she did say Thank-you when they got there and before she left.
we wouldn’t have wanted a gift but maybe expected a proper Thankyou text once she got home or the next day.

OP posts:
StrangerThings1 · 20/04/2025 16:22

idontunderstandwhy · 20/04/2025 15:49

Thankyou for asking @ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself@NewAgeNewMe
It was fine, all the kids had a great time. Didn’t really talk to party mum much but she had other quests to entertain, she stayed and tidied after but not heard anything since. We will be limiting contact and not giving her anymore generosity whilst letting Ds keep his friend.

Did she give you a thank you present?

anyolddinosaur · 20/04/2025 16:18

Glad to hear it went reasonably well. Hope your husband realises he needs to run any such offers past you - before making them - in future!

murasaki · 20/04/2025 15:53

Purplebunnie · 20/04/2025 15:52

Mmm I'm hoping there was some flowers or chocolates or wine as a sign of her appreciation but from what you've said I'm not holding my breath

This, did she even say thank you?

NewAgeNewMe · 20/04/2025 15:52

Well done. Sounds like it went the best it could in the circumstances. Thank you for coming back to let us know. I hope she got you a gift!

Purplebunnie · 20/04/2025 15:52

Mmm I'm hoping there was some flowers or chocolates or wine as a sign of her appreciation but from what you've said I'm not holding my breath

idontunderstandwhy · 20/04/2025 15:49

Thankyou for asking @ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself@NewAgeNewMe
It was fine, all the kids had a great time. Didn’t really talk to party mum much but she had other quests to entertain, she stayed and tidied after but not heard anything since. We will be limiting contact and not giving her anymore generosity whilst letting Ds keep his friend.

OP posts:
ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 19/04/2025 14:06

NewAgeNewMe · 19/04/2025 14:05

How was the party?

Impeccable timing 😂

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 19/04/2025 14:05

idontunderstandwhy · 14/04/2025 18:31

It’s hasn’t happened yet, it’s on Friday. Keen to just get it over and done with now though.

How did the party go yesterday?

NewAgeNewMe · 19/04/2025 14:05

How was the party?

JojoM1981 · 16/04/2025 15:07

Codlingmoths · 16/04/2025 12:53

The cf is not having a party. Her 8yo son is.

I know that. Ok CF of the birthday boy.

Codlingmoths · 16/04/2025 12:53

JojoM1981 · 15/04/2025 13:51

The CF had already burnt her bridges when she said the son wouldn't be allowed in his own garden,yet here we are. Still getting the party despite all this 🙄🤷‍♀️🤦‍♂️Some people are such a walkover 🙄

The cf is not having a party. Her 8yo son is.