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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you HONESTLY do in this situation?

559 replies

Friends1996 · 09/04/2025 12:24

Say you ordered a few items from a big online shop (clothing), then successfully cancelled the order, and was refunded.

A few days later, you ordered a single item of clothing from the same place. Today that item was delivered, however they had also sent the items you had cancelled and was refunded for (probably around £120 worth of stuff).

Would you contact them about it or would you keep quiet, see if they emailed you about it and if you didn’t hear anything say 3-4 weeks down the line, just keep the items as normal? This is a place you regularly order from, spending between £300-400 a month.

What would you HONESTLY do?

OP posts:
Motherknowsrest · 09/04/2025 16:44

I'd let them know. Rather clear it up now than have a mess a few weeks later.

Bitethehandthatfeedsyou · 09/04/2025 16:43

OP, I probably would more because I get major guilt over anything. 9/10 they probably will let you keep it anyway in my experience.

Also, this thread is PEAK mumsnet with it's arguments over ethical cotton / fast fashion when it's 100% not the point of the thread 😂

Friends1996 · 09/04/2025 16:42

AuxArmesCitoyens · 09/04/2025 16:40

Four hundred quid a month on clothes, even ethical ones, is a bit bonkers over-consumption though

It isn’t the point of the thread though is it?

OP posts:
Wexone · 09/04/2025 16:42

Friends1996 · 09/04/2025 16:38

It’s a brand very well known for their ethical values

If its then you should be sending them back - however as you are being coy about the brand i am doubting they are
If its as ethical as you say they are then they will not dispose of the clothes sent to you nor will they tell you to keep them

Friends1996 · 09/04/2025 16:42

For all the people calling me a thief 😂 of course I emailed them and let them know of their mistake, and said can we arrange a collection for the items. The thread stemmed from when I was telling people what happened, the amount of people who said to keep it and what people would really do in that situation (despite what they claim on here!) so to calm the people down having a meltdown over it - I haven’t stolen the items and I’m waiting to hear back 😂

OP posts:
AuxArmesCitoyens · 09/04/2025 16:40

Four hundred quid a month on clothes, even ethical ones, is a bit bonkers over-consumption though

Friends1996 · 09/04/2025 16:38

Wexone · 09/04/2025 16:31

What's the company ? What did you check that they are very ethical ?

It’s a brand very well known for their ethical values

OP posts:
DontCallMeKidDontCallMeBaby · 09/04/2025 16:37

Either way, the mistake will show as a loss at the next stocktake. Unaccounted for, the natural assumption (since presumably this is a warehouse with no public access) will be that staff theft is the cause. That’s not ideal for them either.

Growlybear83 · 09/04/2025 16:35

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/04/2025 16:15

I have contacted the sellers when I have been in the OP’s position, @Growlybear83. Do you want to call me a liar?

Maybe you don’t know many honest people, but I do, so I believe the people on here who’ve said they’d contact the sellers. I’m sad for you that you don’t.

I’m not calling you anything. If you had read my post, I said that I believe that MOST people would keep the things under these circumstances. MOST does not mean ALL. My mother was not one of the ‘most’ and would have sent things back. I know a couple of other people who I think would probably contact the retailer, but the majority might say they would return things, but when it actually happens to them it’s a different story.

Friends1996 · 09/04/2025 16:34

BunnyLake · 09/04/2025 15:12

I would contact them. They may let you keep them, they may not. I got extra food delivered in my online shop once (part of someone else’s shop I guess). They told me to keep it.

This happened to me before - they let you keep it because they can’t take it back because of hygiene reasons so would just chuck it

OP posts:
99namechanges · 09/04/2025 16:33

Is it popsy?

FairlyTired · 09/04/2025 16:31

CandidExpert · 09/04/2025 13:05

Except quite a few of us have been in this EXACT situation (in my case 3 times) and haven't kept them. Not only that but a few of us have said even after we were told we could keep them, we donated the free items to a charity.

Don't judge everyone by your own scummy morals. There are still lots of people who know to do the right thing. Nothing in life is free and there will be "payment" further down the line, usually decent people losing their jobs.

Employees mistakes being highlighted to large companies where they are disposable and easily replaced is far more likely to cause a job loss.
If you morally feel responsible for someone's mistake being missed then that's fine, but acting like you're helping the employee by grassing up their mistake isn't accurate.

Wexone · 09/04/2025 16:31

Friends1996 · 09/04/2025 16:28

I don’t shop fast fashion. The company is very ethical and only uses organic cotton etc.

What's the company ? What did you check that they are very ethical ?

Friends1996 · 09/04/2025 16:31

AquaPeer · 09/04/2025 15:02

Suspect she’s asking to find out what people would really do (as per the title) rather than reading page after page of hysterical drivel from posters who you’d think had stumbled over brinks mat from their drama llama responses

Exactly this!

OP posts:
Friends1996 · 09/04/2025 16:28

Wexone · 09/04/2025 14:37

I agree - i used to be like the OP - Fast fashion companies dream. Then realised that i was shopping and not wearing anything - it was all crammed in my wardrobe. Plus not very good quality. So i cut back big time, my money now goes into savings and holidays, plus moved into a nice house. If you are doing this every month its peak consumerism, i am all for spending your money on what you want but have a good look and see if you really need it. Consumers like the OP are what Shein etc aim at not the people who dont have 300e a month to spend on clothes

I don’t shop fast fashion. The company is very ethical and only uses organic cotton etc.

OP posts:
chaosmaker · 09/04/2025 16:27

Friends1996 · 09/04/2025 12:28

Why would you donate to charity when it’s clothing you wanted and they said to keep them? That’s a bit bizarre

You don't want it if it was returned. Don't understand you.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/04/2025 16:27

stretchitout · 09/04/2025 12:26

This did happen to me and I was honest. I was tempted not to be but in the end I had to be. And they let me have them free!

I was once sent 3 items the same when I’d ordered just one. (Seasalt)
They told me to keep them.

truecrimelover · 09/04/2025 16:18

Id message, clear conscience is worth more than a few clothes and they'll most likely let you keep them anyway! X

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/04/2025 16:15

Growlybear83 · 09/04/2025 15:17

I don’t need anyone to show me how I feel about my actions when I don’t feel bad ablut what I’ve said at all 😆. It’s not a question of what I WANT to believe - I DO believe that most people who are so adamant that they wouldn’t keep the things would behave very differently if they were in the OP’s situation .

I have contacted the sellers when I have been in the OP’s position, @Growlybear83. Do you want to call me a liar?

Maybe you don’t know many honest people, but I do, so I believe the people on here who’ve said they’d contact the sellers. I’m sad for you that you don’t.

BeyondMyWits · 09/04/2025 16:15

Has happened 5 times to me in the last 3 years. Every time I rang them up. Just seemed the right thing to do. I'm a goody two shoes, do gooder and stand up for what I think is right as well as supporter of the underdog type. So I always try to do right.

Last time was a Christmas tree from ASDA - arrived out of the blue... just a tree in a box, had my name and account details. No order number. Rang them and the lady was so nice (and funny). "There's no order number... it does not appear on the system, it was not ordered... I can take 20 min to sort it out and have it picked up... or... I can ask you to please keep it as a thank you for being a loyal customer ".

We kept it.

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 09/04/2025 16:14

Galatine · 09/04/2025 16:10

Because it’s fine to rob a large business but not a small one? Personally I would see no difference!

It's their error.

I would chase up and let someone know about their error if it was going to make a huge impact in their life, I wouldn't bother if it wasn't going to have any impact at all, and cause me a heap of bother along the way.

DorothyWasRightTho · 09/04/2025 16:14

Is it Lucy and yak? If so definitely let them
know. Their customer service has always been great and very generous but this would be a shitty thing to do to a nice, formerly small and independent business! They may well tell you to keep them but it’s not for you to decide

Gustavo77 · 09/04/2025 16:13

Definitely contacted them. It's completely wrong not to.

butterflycr · 09/04/2025 16:12

Mouikey · 09/04/2025 16:04

Also had this happen:

m&s order 1 single feather duvet, received 5 (they sent the whole box). Contacted them and it was a blooming pain to get them sent back. No thank you or acknowledgement of the aggravation they caused.

amazon - driver dropped a whole container of parcels outside our house. Amazon couldn’t care less even though the driver left less that 3 minutes before and could have come back to collect them. It was for the next town over so no way was I going to deliver. Amazon said they would sort it out and we could keep it… there were around 50 parcels! Got all weird and wonderful things. Gave many away and kept a few for ourselves and put some through the food bank and local clothing bank.

i think honesty is the best policy.

Amazon destroy tens of thousands of unsold products each year - expensive TV's, laptops, etc - which they could donate if they could be bothered to do the ethical thing. They go to landfill.

I really wouldn't feel bad about screwing them out of a couple of packages they mistakenly delivered, and I wouldn't bother telling them. They're a shockingly unethical company.

Galatine · 09/04/2025 16:10

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 09/04/2025 12:27

I wouldn't say anything and see what happens, and I wouldn't feel guilty bout keeping the clothes if they didn't contact me either.

If it was a small business my answer would be different.

Because it’s fine to rob a large business but not a small one? Personally I would see no difference!

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