How and why are teens allowed to roam the roads freely for hours?

Parents must set expectations about good behaviour and make sure there are consequences for bad behaviour. This must happen at a very young age so things are nipped in the bud. Also, there must be a balance. Parents must time-box free roaming time, know where the kids are (and who they are friends with) and make sure they are home before dark.

Ok - so your son or his friends haven’t knifed anyone “yet” !! Are you sure they won’t harass/ bully/ vandalise in the future? Are you speaking to your son regularly about expected behaviour and what kind of people cannot be friends with ? Have you spoken to him about drugs and gangs - how to be safe when out and about?

Congrats OP - glad you've got it all figured out.

It's always fun to state the bleedin' obvious!

Asking them not to cycle on country lanes in the dark is different to being out in the dark.

"Being out in the dark" is walking home from school for a couple of months of the year for my DDs and we are only in Yorkshire... it would be significantly more for those in Scotland.

Two groups of teens can go out to similar places with completely different motives. The library has been mentioned. Some go to study. Some go to hang out,go on chat rooms etc... which could be harmless or could be extremely harmful.

My teen and her friends like going for long walks in the woods... genuinely! They like the peace and exercise. There has been trouble with littering and fires in the same woods (but they avoid those bits as they aren't peaceful!)

i live in London and certain areas are overrun by groups of teenagers dressed in black, they are wearing black masks (why??) and hoods. They are very intimidating. Once I was assaulted by a group of teenagers like this, all in black, at 7 am ffs! Boys who walk from school on their own are constantly, literally daily are mugged, in broad daylight by these groups of teens. It’s come to the point where my son carries an extra (old) phone for when (not if) he gets assaulted again. This is west London.

I think it does if they are on a bike - I ask DS2 to be home before dark . We are rural though

I’ve got two DS - one is mostly out on his bike - one is mostly in his bedroom or occasionally the gym . The one on his bike is younger but more independent. Being out as a teen and not with parents is an important part of growing up .

Unfortunately unfettered access to the Internet and smartphone availability has a lot to answer for.

What people don’t choose is to have children with serious (usually mental health related , but not always) conditions.

The home before dark thing makes me laugh, such a British thing to be concerned about the dark. My teenager is out after dark in winter, it's not possible to not be considering how early it gets dark in my country and her d&d club often doesn't finish until after 8 on a Friday evening which is pitch black time in winter. Even my 7 year old can be out after dark - dark doesn't make a difference at all.

if parents were also charged - they would surely want to know what their kids were up to

I’d totally be up for that, but it needs to work both ways. In the cases where parents have asked and begged for support here , there and everywhere, reported everything, went to the school, police, GP , SS etc and nothing was done and their kid was still on some 5 year waiting list that got “lost” , then the LA should be taken to court and held responsible. Particularly when that same parent ends up dead or severely injured because they tried to take responsibility.

Is it better that they fester in their bedrooms gaming / getting obese ?

Son is 18 - he bikes everywhere (after dark sometimes ) with his mates of a similar age - they go off to play football , sometimes they roam into town (eat out / snooker club )
This allowed ? As far as I know none of them have knifed anyone yet !!!!

Parents are responsible for the behaviour of young people under the age of 18. If a child appears in court, their parent/s should be required to attend and, if relevant, charged with child neglect. Too many parental responsibilities are being passed to schools. The emphasis should be on parents taking responsibility for the children they have created.

No, that's not luck, unless you're a parent who regularly came home drunk or used drugs, regularly brought home different partners, routinely screamed, cursed, or swore at your children or partners, never encouraged them to listen to their teachers and behave well when out and about or to be considerate of others, scoffed at people who abide by the rules, never read to your children, never had conversations with them, kept a chaotic house, never modeled peaceful problem solving, never attended a parent teacher meeting, never bothered teaching your child any manners or imparted any knowledge of culture or spoke to your child of his future but he still turned out well.

There's free internet in all my local libraries (US) and they're full of teens all the time. There's a part of the biggest library that's used as a seasonal warming/ cooling center for anyone vulnerable to the weather too. There's a very low profile security guard who is there to keep tabs on the warming/ cooling centre. The teens are fine.

He wanted to.be known as a Hardman apparantely.

Teenagers have always wandered around unsupervised, incidents like this aren’t new. I can think of about a dozen similar stories that in the paper when I was a teenager 20 years ago, including a group of boys beating a homeless man to death where I grew up.

It’s appalling to think young people can do something like that but the ones who could are a minority. Most young people just want to enjoy a bit of freedom with their friends, violence is the last thing on their mind.

Yes when the library's had free internet, youths started hanging around in there with mates.

They had to get a security guard.

We have a massive issue in our town with teens having around shopping centres causing trouble and also causing trouble on places like McDonalds. There’s a rule in our town and may others that children aren’t allowed in McDonalds after 4pm without an adult. This is because there’s groups of teens causing trouble and spoiling or for the rest. My kids often want to grab tea after school before going back for an evening activity. If they get there before 4 they’re ok to go on. But after 4 they get turned away. Last week they wanted tea before the cinema. Got kicked out. Ended up in another chain of fast food that costs more. I r seen videos and photos of the kids causing bother. They don’t seem to care.

I was shopping in the supermarket last half term holiday and got caught up amongst about 20 teens trying to be removed by several security and just shouting abuse back at them. It’s intimidating even for us adults trying to get some shopping done.

Then I was in the leisure centre with my kids booking some activities whilst other kids were being told that they were no longer allowing unsupervised kids in as they had had to call the police earlier to remove a load. my kids are the same age. They want to attend booked activities without me. But it’s worrying that they’ll not be allowed in the next time they want to go.

The local library has issues. It has a small cafe. Some teens like to go on and do homework. But then the trouble causers are in running a mock causing bother. One time we went in and the doors were locked with staff letting people in when required. I did ask if my kids would be allowed on by themselves next time and they did say yes and they know who the trouble causers are so they just allow or not on a person by person basis - better than McDonalds.

I recall last year one of the local home bargains was banning kids. It was around Mother’s Day weekend when they wanted to go and buy gifts but weren’t allowed on due to the gangs jamming about outside.

These kids seem younger than back in the 90s when I was at school. It was mostly 15/16 year olds having around hassling people to buy booze and cigarettes at the corner shop. Now there’s none of those. It’s mostly younger tween and teens. Some even primary aged.

I noticed over winter there were alot of kids allowed out on the dark wandering about. Mine don’t particularly like walking about in the dark and if they were out with friends I’d usually ask them to be home before dark.

Go to work like we do unless they have disabilities? There are many parents who are unemployed and they don’t care their child/ren damaging/destroying innocent people’s possessions. They are too entitled. They think they can do whatever they like while they receive tax payers’ money. I need my car which I use to take my child with special needs to school.

A lot of it is down to luck, and often 'nature' too though.

My 17yo DS left the house at 9am this morning to go to Physics club. He will be playing hockey this afternoon where he's captain of the club.
Tonight, he'll likely read in bed, or watch a box set on Netflix.

Tomorrow morning, he'll be up early to study, then at 11am, he'll go to his Sunday job at an ice cream shop in town.

He's a good lad at school, well mannered and polite, and is in the running to be Head Boy next year.

It's pure luck that I ended up with that kind of boy. I didn't do anything to 'teach' or 'instill' those values, and I'm definitely not a better parent than another mother whose son has 'gone off the rails'.
My son was born easy, so yes, it's been luck.

What, so that the rest of the family cannot eat?

Then what?

You were doing homework full time every weekend and half term, and all the way through every school holiday?