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Original poster

Gave Granddaughter's Mum £250 towards her 3rd birthday party

421 replies

TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:45

She couldn't decide which nursery friends to invite. Whether it would be 360 or local Wacky.

I gave her £250 towards either.

She's going to Sea-Life Centre with her Mum.

So, not only no party. No invite either.

I'm a bit pissed off to be honest.

OP posts:
SapphireSeptember · 10/04/2025 04:11

I love it when people make stuff up. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I'd love to get £84 a month from my ex for our DS, but I get a big fat 0 even though he's working. Nob. 😡 My electricity/gas bill has nearly tripled this month, but he's in debt so he can't afford child maintenance. 🙄 Not my problem.

TheRosesAreInBloom · 09/04/2025 20:58

Ponoka7 · 09/04/2025 08:57

If only there was a way that adult men could avoid having babies with teenage girls. The OP wouldn't be in her situation either.

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Precisely…maybe they could BOTH be so much more responsible.

Searchingforthelight · 09/04/2025 20:51

soarklyknobs · 09/04/2025 10:29

Sounds to me like your son was well into his 20s and the mother of your GC was a teen when he got her pregnant.

He now lets us tax payers raise his DC because he doesn’t work, whilst mum does the majority of childcare and ensure your GD has a roof over her head.

Sounds like the situation is a lot more problematic than the cost of a birthday outing and maybe the problems began with your DS impregnating a young girl 🤷‍♀️

Inflammatory nonsense, the mother was an adult woman, why on earth would you describe an adult woman as a 'young girl'?

How do you think the mom is providing housing for her child? She doesn't work! She is also relying on us taxpayers to sort her out, just as much as the child's father.

Searchingforthelight · 09/04/2025 20:04

RedHelenB · 09/04/2025 09:02

The woman is looking after the child who is not yet at school. The father isn't so has all the time in the world to get a job. Days, afters, nights are all.options he can take up.

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Perhaps the father is looking after the child, 50% of the time? And if not, perhaps he should?

There's no reason why the child mother should not get a job and provide for her child just as much as the child's father should.

Springee · 09/04/2025 19:07

I do see your point but i think a party for age 3 that's anything other than a very small gathering is not a great idea. We had the traditional big party for family at age 1, small family gathering at 2 and 3, few friends at 4, whole class at 5.

ProfessionalPirate · 09/04/2025 18:08

tamade · 09/04/2025 10:21

It is all relative in my current part of the world early 20s is the norm. And God am I jealous of the 40 year olds with almost grown up kids, while I'm 40 with a 5 yo DS running around like a bull

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Yes I was just referring to UK overall. I’m sure it will vary geographically. I’m also 40 with a 6 year old and a 3 year old so I get you, although I’m one of the younger ones in my area! I think having young children can feel like hard work whatever age you are. Young mums might have more freedom in their 40s, but I loved the freedom I had in my 20s. Possibly the mums you are jealous of now were jealous of you when you were all in your 20s!

Stillcuriouserstill · 09/04/2025 16:54

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IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 09/04/2025 16:50

TheBuffetInspector · 09/04/2025 16:24

I think you'll find that if you read the entire thread, then you shall find the answer to the question you so desperately seek.

For what reason, I don't know.

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You have claimed that splitting up with his partner renders him homeless and incapable of working. And something about "renters".

Goodness knows why splitting up with his girlfriend should do either of those things.

Stillcuriouserstill · 09/04/2025 16:43

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Stillcuriouserstill · 09/04/2025 16:39

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Original poster
TheBuffetInspector · 09/04/2025 16:26

@IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle I hope it leaves you giddy with happiness and rubbing your grotty hands with glee.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheBuffetInspector · 09/04/2025 16:24

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 09/04/2025 16:17

Indeed. I doubt there will be any answer or to the question of why her son doesn't work.

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I think you'll find that if you read the entire thread, then you shall find the answer to the question you so desperately seek.

For what reason, I don't know.

OP posts:
IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 09/04/2025 16:17

Digdongdoo · 09/04/2025 14:58

How does a grown man end up relying on the much younger mother of his child for both housing and employment?

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Indeed. I doubt there will be any answer or to the question of why her son doesn't work.

Workhardcryharder · 09/04/2025 16:14

Pickedupsomethingsuss · 09/04/2025 07:28

So she is a single mother for mother to a 3 year old relying on benefits and a poxy £84 from her unemployed ex

Sensible woman not to blow it on a party

But the money was for a party.

ChorusOfDisapproval · 09/04/2025 16:06

Message her saying you understand if she needed the money to have her awful lips and eyebrows sorted out 😂

PinkyFlamingo · 09/04/2025 15:58

Pickedupsomethingsuss · 09/04/2025 07:05

So this woman gets £84 a MONTH from the father of her child

disgraceful

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What are you on about?

butterflycr · 09/04/2025 15:49

Pickedupsomethingsuss · 09/04/2025 07:10

She is not immature
she is working hard (well more hours than free childcare covers)
with a poxy £84 a month from her ex
and raising a child

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Of course she's immature. That's not a criticism. She's just taken £250 which was given as a gift by a relative in good faith for a birthday party for her child, and presumably used it for something else. That's objectively wrong, no matter what her financial situation is, and it's not how a mature adult manages financial hardship.

She is clearly still young and immature and trying to manage this situation in ways that are not going to benefit her in the long term.

I didn't say she's not working hard - these two things aren't incompatible.

I suggested OP should keep supporting her whilst being more wary of giving her cash. Or alternatively, making peace with the fact that this will happen.

Winamy192 · 09/04/2025 15:49

God you’d all love my son’s father. Works cash in hand claims benefits and I get the absolute jackpot of £29 a MONTH. 😂

nomas · 09/04/2025 15:48

I guess the learning here is to offer to cover a cost directly. So ask for an invoice you can pay directly to a company, and not hand over any cash. It’s a shame that’s necessary though.

TeeBee · 09/04/2025 15:44

I had similar OP. My sister was going to have a Christening for her son but was struggling for money. I gave her the money to pay for the catering. The Christening never happened! However, she's my sister so I never mentioned it but I understand your frustration.

Blackbird84 · 09/04/2025 15:40

They all sound as bad as each other. Poor kid.

Original poster
TheBuffetInspector · 09/04/2025 15:39

BoredZelda · 09/04/2025 15:36

If you don’t have money to spare, why give her 250 quid, whether she used it for a party or not?

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You see that bit where I wrote - clearly I did.

That.

Tara chucks!

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 09/04/2025 15:36

TheBuffetInspector · 08/04/2025 23:50

In my eyes, yes. It was given 2 months ago so she could get it all sorted and booked. She sent me links to prices. It's gone now. I don't have £250 to spare, clearly I did!

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If you don’t have money to spare, why give her 250 quid, whether she used it for a party or not?

Original poster
TheBuffetInspector · 09/04/2025 15:36

Which was nice.

Anyway I have things to tend to, and it's not defending myself, my son, my GD or my GDs Mum from the MN Massive (? Hillock?).

It's been a pleasure as always.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 09/04/2025 15:33

Ok

It took a turn at 6.30 am then 😂