Is once to twice a week sex enough in a marriage ? When does sex drive dwindle in men ?

I think he should leave her if her intention is a sexless marriage but she’s not been honest and directly told him that.

Read the fucking thread. 🙄

Then you agree it's rape. Not sure what you're arguing about.

Why isnt that your answer regarding him not getting sex? That he should leave her? When it's that way around, you're all about pressuring OP to give him what he wants, at her own cost. It's an interesting double standard.

I absolutely have read it. You obviously didn’t read the comment you’ve just replied to which is bizarre.

You obviously haven't read the OP which is bizarre. The OPs husband is coercing her into sex she doesn't want.

He is overriding her refusal to have sex by wearing her down until she relents. She feels sick at having to have sex with him. That's non consensual sex.

Obviously not and my lovely DH would be very understanding. It would be same if he had issues.

I don't think this is the case with OP.

At the end of the day if her DH doesn't want to split up and she doesn't, then they have to agree to a sexless marriage. I agree he can't keep going on about it and she shouldn't just put out as one PP said so they can keep the family unit and home together.

If they are to stay together though they need to sort it out for the children's sake. The children will pick up that their parents are unhappy.

Having sex with her whenever he demands it.

One thing all your updates are making me wonder is if you've ever enjoyed sex? Does he take your pleasure into account at all? Does he make you orgasm? Because from what you've said, it's just him pumping away at you, which obviously isn't fun or nice!

Maybe as practical way forward, could you/he try and focus on your pleasure.

He isn't what? Having sex with her? Have you even read this thread if that's what you think?

I may not want to hear it but also I see no reason to conceal the truth.

Well then she needs to leave him!!! He wants to have sex, she doesn't. End of story!!!

Only he isn’t. The OP has made that clear.

You need to read more then!

Men unfortunately do feel entitled, I've been married to such a man who made it clear he felt he was entitled. "Wifely duties" was mentioned many a time

Good for you you've never been in such a position but there's no need to belittle other experiences just to make yourself feel better.

And big well done for massively missing my point too 👏

Yuck! He sounds totally disgusting and I imagine he probably is crap at giving you any pleasure anyway. It’s only about him getting his tiny todger away.
People have offered you a lot of advice and you want to stay with this sack of shit, what did you actually expect from this thread?!

@OctoberandApril Are there a lot of women who want the nice house, children etc but not really an intimate relationship with their DH?

Over 50% of women have some of these symptoms during peri/meno/post menopause.

• Dryness.
• Shrinking of tissues.
• Disappearance of labia minora.
• Contraction of the vaginal tissue and muscles.
• Pain during intercourse.
• Problems urinating.
• Shrinkage of the clitoris, making orgasm weak and at times inability to orgasm.
• Loss of libido.
• Tissues sticking/fusing together.
• Adhesions on tissues (can be inside and outside the vagina, on the vulva, on the clitoris, over the urethra).
• Splitting, tearing and bleeding of the vaginal, vulval and clitoral tissues when sex is forced past the level of discomfort.

Would YOU want sex if you had these symptoms?

He IS having sex with his wife, whenever he demands it. Do you have any concern whatsoever as to what that's doing to her mental health, or is your main concern about making sure she keeps doing it?

OP offered him an open marriage and apparently he was horrified.

If you never ever want sex, you both don’t want to leave the marriage then it’s only a matter of time before he goes elsewhere for sex.

I don’t think you are weak or deluded. I share your views on marriage and the strength of the vows and commitment and would not throw them away over something trivial.

I also, like you would not end a marriage over one small part of it (sex) even if having sex you don’t want to would be awful. Nothing to advise but as least you are discussing.

Unfortunately 'you're his wife' seems to come up a lot here - even in sympathetic posts. There are still deeply ingrained expectations on women once they become wives. Is that the only reason we marry? To have us contractually obliged to put-out?

It's actually really depressing.

Presumably, my unmarried sister who's been with her partner for longer than I've been married means she doesn't have to subscribe to any of this cos she hasn't signed the contract?

I didn’t say coerced sex isn’t rape.

But this is more complex than than. To suggest that a woman is incapable of rationalising the pros and cons and have sex consensually to make their spouse happy is offensive at best.

"Entitled to a wife's body"?!?!

FFS I have read some utter crap on here over the years but that is brilliant.

Maybe a man just wants to have sex with his wife. Who he loves, fancies and is turned on by.

If OP has decided she no longer wants to have sex with her husband then it is her who has changed, not him. And she should leave him. Not make him feel like he's doing something illegal and sordid for wanting to be intimate with her.

I'm sorry you're going through this but... 'other suggestions' are the sort of thing that would be appropriate/useful for someone who said 'We don't have sex much these days and I know it bothers my husband; I do find him attractive and I do enjoy sex when we do it, but I just don't have much drive/energy for it in the same way he does'. I don't think there are many 'other suggestions' available for someone who is as vehemently and strongly disgusted by the whole idea of sex with their partner as you are. You are at the point of feeling nauseous and crying at the very thought of it.

Personally, I think you need professional help from a therapist, probably alone rather than with your husband, because it sounds like there are some really deep-seated issues here.

I honestly feel like crying tonight as I know he’s going to come and request it from me.

Honestly @isitenoughnow , just leave. He is always going to want to have sex with you (you are his wife and he obviously is attracted to you and has a sex drive). Whereas the thought of having sex with him makes you want to cry.

This is never going to work.