Page 3 | To think not everyone should be a parent?

IsItWickedNotToCare · 08/04/2025 17:17

JenniferBooth · 08/04/2025 16:47

Im child free by choice and was seen as an outlier in the 90s I went on a couple of chat shows about the subject and was called inhuman on one of them
Im not such an outlier now

That's awful! 'Inhuman' is someone who abuses and kills people, not someone who chooses not to have a child, thereby not hurting anyone or indeed bringing them into this mess of a world! Well done for speaking out and sticking to your guns.

Mareleine · 08/04/2025 16:57

OMG why did it quote the OP?! That's never happened to me before. 🤦‍♀️

TomatoSandwiches · 08/04/2025 16:57

You can't put the genie back in the bottle.

Mareleine · 08/04/2025 16:56

ThisQuickLemonPoster · 08/04/2025 16:38

I know it sounds harsh but some people just aren’t cut out for parenting - emotionally, financially, or otherwise. Yet we treat having kids like a right rather than a responsibility. If you’re barely coping or constantly moaning, maybe you shouldn’t have had children. AIBU for thinking this way?

So you're saying that we have to plaster a smile on and pretend to be fine and happy 100% of the time and anyone who doesn't fit the Stepford mould isn't a fit parent? I mean there are clearly unfit parents out there but not by this measure. This smacks of the same terrible logic as "I feel a bit sad sometimes... I must be depressed."

Jellycatspyjamas · 08/04/2025 16:53

I think barely coping or moaning are hardly grounds for suggesting someone isn’t cut out to be a parent. Different people cope better with different stages, and life has a way of kicking our arse so what was previously manageable becomes very hard indeed.

We do have standards for parenting - children are removed from truly harmful parents. Having a moan about the hard bits often helps us pick ourselves up and keep on going.

I love my children with every fibre of my being, but I can’t pretend every second is a joy or that parts of parenting aren’t very difficult indeed. I adopted, so did go through a pretty extensive assessment to become a parent. I still moan and struggle to cope sometimes.

ACynicalDad · 08/04/2025 16:53

Thebloodynine · 08/04/2025 16:41

Well of course some people are terrible prospects for parents but… what is the alternative? Government controlled breeding? Parenting training, testing and licensing? Forced sterilisation en masse? I certainly wouldn’t want to live in any country which assumes that level of control over its citizens. No thank you.

Edited

Government controlled breeding, next step the impregnation of all with Kier's little swimmers. (Boris would have been up for it).

JenniferBooth · 08/04/2025 16:47

Im child free by choice and was seen as an outlier in the 90s I went on a couple of chat shows about the subject and was called inhuman on one of them
Im not such an outlier now

Thebloodynine · 08/04/2025 16:41

Well of course some people are terrible prospects for parents but… what is the alternative? Government controlled breeding? Parenting training, testing and licensing? Forced sterilisation en masse? I certainly wouldn’t want to live in any country which assumes that level of control over its citizens. No thank you.

ChocolatePodge · 08/04/2025 16:40

You're not wrong but it's a bit late by that stage 🤣 I think society has begun to be more honest about how kids aren't for everyone and as a result fewer are choosing to have them.