To think not everyone should be a parent?

My Dad has had lifelong mental health issues and probably shouldn’t have become a parent. It didn’t mean that he’s horrible or that I don’t love him, he just isn’t stable enough to parent. So I get your point, OP.

The inhuman people are those monsters who neglect, abuse and occasionally even murder their own children. I love children and have a ds I adore. However, I respect people like you who recognise you don't want children (for whatever reason) and stand by that rather than bringing more unwanted children into the world.

I disagree.
I think that humanity evolves at the rate it evolves, and as a consequence so does parenting. The children alive today are the reflection of previous generations’ parenting skills and in turn will be different to those born 25/30 years from now.

Deciding who can procreate is wrong on so many levels and it’s difficult to make a start in listing them here, but I suppose one simple way would be that it is akin to the “thought police” type situation in that you would be deciding prior to an eventual pregnancy, which potential parents are worthy or not. Who would decide this, and based on which values? The values of the middle class? White Western values?

Surely intelligent people wouldn’t just presume that the year 2025 was that of enlightenment, and somehow only a small proportion of middle class British parents know the secret to parenting. They hold the key and should be given the power to decide who is allowed to procreate.

My ex husband should never have been a parent.. too selfish, isn’t able to look out for anyone bar himself. I thought he’d change as lots do when they have kids.. but no.

https://hrnews.co.uk/less-than-a-third-of-eligible-men-now-take-any-paternity-leave-percentage-declines-for-fourth-year-in-a-row/

I didn't get the "choice". The muddle-though mentality has absolutely worked for me. I think I'm a good mum and I absolutely love being a mum. You don't need to be financially secure, in a perfect relationship and emotional rock solid to be a parent. It's ok to grow as your child grows.

Yes it’s the “muddle through somehow”mentality which really shouldn’t be applied to having children.

YANBU that some people would be/are bad parents.

But if someone is barely coping, saying “maybe you shouldn’t have had children then” isn’t a hugely helpful or relevant thing to say really.

Agree but you see it time and time again on here…people in poor circumstances being told they’ll ‘manage’ and encouraged to have babies with no thought whatsoever to the child or adult they’ll become and what it takes to get them there.

I think it's a good thing that being child-free is increasingly seen as a normal life choice. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent and lots of people have the self-awareness to realise it's not for them.

These posts are so dull - and the OP never returns to elaborate on their stupid idea. There's no such thing as "treating" parenthood as one thing or another - people fuck, and babies are born.

The European nations, Japan and East Asia are demographically declining at an alarmingly suicidal rate, it is strange to think that we live on the Earth at perhaps the time when the largest amount of humans will ever live.

Agree. Personally I love being a parent but it’s not for everyone. If you don’t want children then definitely don’t have them. Parenthood is a huge demand on every part of your life for a long time.

Equally i think there are many young women swerving motherhood because men STILL dont do their share and step up.

Decades ago women were told they could have it all. What they really meant was they wanted women to DO it all. The reason the male ( he had an American accent but im in the UK) called me inhuman is that he was pissed that i saw through the having it all rhetoric

You see the feral children around absolutely you think some people should never be parents.

Alas so many of the worst people will continue to make stupid reproductive choices and we just have to deal with their fecklessness.

Sure, but what do you suggest? Only the deserving get a breeding license? Eugenics has a very ugly history.

I think some people like the idea of a baby and give no thought to how expensive and the commitment of raising a human for 18 plus years.

Absolutely. There are some useless, and even worse, evil parents out there. We can't stop people breeding though.

Yep, or because they think it's the next stage in their relationship.

I've seen so many threads recently where people are pregnant and keeping the babies knowing the "fathers" are going to be fucking useless. There's no thought for the child, they just want a baby and don't seem to care how they get one.

YANBU. I wouldn't exactly consider that an unpopular opinion though; I think most people acknowledge that there are people who are not cut out to be parents.

I wouldn't be a good parent because I really don't want children. It's a completely valid choice. Still seems to rub some people the wrong way. But at least I know I'm not putting children into a shit situation.

Agree. It's just something people seem to do, because everyone else is doing it.

I agree up to a point but I also think the expectations put on parents these days (attachment parenting, endless round of ferrying to activities, child-centric activities and holidays) make parenting an unenjoyable slog for many mums and (to a lesser extent) dads. Culturally we've made it difficult for some to cope with the expectations. The weight of judgement can feel immense.

My parents expected us to fit into their lives, they didn't adapt every element of theirs to us. It was worse parenting by modern standards but at much less cost to their own well-being. I'm not hankering for the days of kids spending long afternoons in the pub but I do think there's a happier medium somewhere.

Totally agree with you, but most people don't seem to put any thought into having sex or starting a family. It's pretty depressing.

And no, I don't have kids. Because I know I'd be a totally shit parent.

YANBU. Having kids is not the be all and end all.