Does this sound like a happy marriage?

Men run at neediness.

Don’t beg for him to behave like he did when he was dating you. He is this way because he sees you as safe and comfortable, so he feels safe taking you for granted.

Be a bitch, they love it 💖

Having separate interests is fine - in fact, it's healthy. But he sounds like he's addicted to gaming, which is unhealthy.
And if he doesn't eat with you, then your children are missing out on an essential part of family life, ie sitting at the table all together and talking to each other, without any distractions.

He would do well to join you at the gym and put down the games machine controller.

He would be fitter happier and it would get him away from the screen. It sounds very unhealthy

You should start talking in the evenings too. Sounds very boring.

So he's hogging the main TV while he's gaming? He sounds like a right prince

You pull away. You focus on yourself and treat the man like he has to earn your attention, all of it. Even a simple hello.

I know this works, it’s successful every single time. This is male psychology.

2 hours to unwind every single night? Is he a neurosurgeon?
And who is talking/interacting with your children while you're both on screens?
This sounds like a flatshare with reluctant childminders in charge.

I would be absolutely miserable. It's like being married to under emotionally under-developed 13 year old. I wouldn't want my kids growing up thinking this is in any way a good way to live either. I think your H is a lost cause but you sound much more productive and well-rounded, so leave the gamer and live the life you want to live.

You can't make it better while you're married to a man who seems to be stuck in teenage boy mode.

"Only" two hours to unwind, plus another hour or two of watching TV before bed?! Does he realise that this is far more than most parents of young children get to "unwind" every night? I would not be happy at all if my DH was behaving like this. He should be eating with the rest of the family as a bare minimum.

So not only your DH obsessed with gaming your eldest DC is too. It's sad his Dad never finds time to take him out and play football with him or take your DC swimming or for a bike ride. I wouldn't tolerate it as it wouldn't suit me. I'd want more family time and more time for sport and being out in the fresh air. I certainly wouldn't be having a DC gaming for 2 hours every evening. He'll grow into a man just like your DH, negligent of his family.

Jeez, sounds like being married to a 12 year old.

Unwind- screen time. Couple time- screen time. This isn't how life should be. And what about time with your eldest?

I would be very lonely in this kind of marriage. For us we tackle all the dinner bedtime kids stuff together work schedule allowing and then only once all that is done do we switch off either doing our own thing or spending time together. We actually game together. Playing games that we can either chat together whilst we play or the game is all about team work and communication like the game split fiction or it takes two. Lots of fun but appreciate you say you're not into gaming.

To me he sounds checked out and I would feel resentful that he wasn't being a equal partner in terms of interest planning and home/parenting work load.

The correct advice is that you pull away, in all ways. Watch him notice and come chase you.

TML ladies x

It sounds bloody miserable to me. You all sit on your screens every night for two hours, then your DC goes to bed? Why can't you eat together, even if he has a toastie or a pizza, and then you do something as a family?

“Only two hours to unwind”. And that’s before spending another hour with you. What on earth are his expectations? Work, cooking, laundry, cleaning, life admin, exercise, spending time with kids, helping with homework, bath time and bedtime. These aren’t all chores (eg exercise and bedtime stories are fun) but they aren’t time to sit and chill either. What functional adult bearing their share of the family load and holding down a full time job expects to get three hours of chilling out time every evening?!?!

You sound like room mates. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Taking a lazy gaming manchild on a date is the worst advice I have ever heard.

He makes the effort, he has to earn you sticking around.

Men need challenge and they get bored…that’s what you have here. You’re no challenge. Making all the effort and further mummying to get a man to give a shit, terrible advice 🤭

I wouldn’t be happy in that marriage but I can only speak for myself. How old are you both? Have you been together a long time @nosywithabuttonnose?
I’ve known quite a few couples who were together from teenage years who have ‘grown up together but are unable to grow old together’ usually because the man stays in some kind of arrested adolescence while the woman grows up. Often they split and he has no problem being a functional adult with his next partner. It’s weird…

Sounds like a miserable and boring existence to me. A bunch of people jus sitting around staring at screens for hours at a time.

The rudeness of your husband in not eating with the family is immense.
How does he demonstate healthy food choices and healthy interactions, conversations, respect for the children's news?

I love that every night my father sat down and proclaimed how great his meal was and wanted to hear all about our day, discuss politics and World issues, tell riddles, laugh at our retelling of schoolyard happenings etc.
How do your children get to know their father?
He is a very poor example of an adult.
Why do you accept such a husband?