Who is unreasonable re fuel?

Since when does ASKING if someone can do you a favour, translate to “being taken advantage of?” It seems this translation only applies on MN

Same as I'd expect to pay for a coffee and a café, but not at a friend's house. One is a business one is a friend.. it's not a terribly complicated concept

I can’t get over how many tight fuckers there are on this thread 🤯 Do you all walk around permanently rubbing your thumb & index finger together?
I’d have already offered. Not because I think I’m a saint or to be overly nice but for several reasons.

1. Because doing nice, small things for people (especially when they don’t take much effort) is a nice thing to do and I fully believe in treating people how I’d LIKE (note: that’s LIKE, not expect) people to treat me.
2. Because it’s a tiny bit better for the environment than another person driving a separate vehicle and if she has no access to a vehicle then she’s likely to get on public transport and it’s surely safer to come with me.
3. Because it’s bloody stupid when you’re going in the same direction and she’s only on next street!
4. Because I’m not a tight wad.
5. Oh and because it would also only strengthen the friendship but I guess this reason is slightly selfish of me (the horror!)

Hate freeloaders. OP is losing privacy and flexibility. So the 'friend' can pay for that. I'm sure the OP is eating dinner every night, should she cook for the other party too?

Who's to say she wouldn't have???

My god. What happened to common decency!?

I think people have wised up to being taken for granted.

Why would Op's friend assume she would get free lifts?

What is decent about that?

When were you a student?

And the friend will be saving money by not forking out for whatever transport she usually uses to get home, so why don't you think the friend isn't being "incredibly tight" to offer nothing of what she's saving to OP?

I can't imagine being driven for one and a half hours a day for a week & not expecting to contribute at all just because "you're already going that way".

Why do people expect to pay transport costs but not when it's a friend?

I wouldn’t have asked if it was a friend and I’d be going anyway, but it would have been nice for her to offer. If it was the other way around, I’d definitely offer something or buy her a nice bottle of wine or something to say thanks.

You are making her life a bit easier.. Paying for fuel would be returning the favour surely?

OP, it’s not a permanent or even semi permanent thing, it’s what 5/10 lifts during which you don’t go out of your way barely at all. The next street? And you’re trying to profit from it, from an actual friend? My god. What happened to common decency!?

I used to give a lot of lifts as a student and only accepted money for long distances and even then not if I was going that way anyway.

Not unreasonable at all to split fuel costs as you are doing her a favour. Presumably it would cost her money in bus/train/taxi fares or whatever to travel without a lift, and it's more convenient as well.

Cheeky as fuck not to immediately offer to split the cost, let alone to argue about doing so when directly asked.

You sound a delight

I’d agree 100% if it was permanent or even for a long while but it’s a handful of lifts without going out of OP’s way! Incredibly tight especially for a friend

You’re already going / paying for fuel so personally I wouldn’t ask for petrol money - you’re not going out of your way.
I would tell I’d expect her to be ready to go on time and leave when you want to though - that’s just good manners.

If someone offered me a lift and didn’t ask for petrol money, I’d make sure I got them something to say thank you.

Same I am cringing here. The concept of a favour seems to be lost on MN. In this scenario I'd expect a bottle of wine or something as thank you at a maximum!

I see comments like ‘but you’re going anyway, it won’t cost you extra’. True, but with this excuse you should give her a lift every day for three years, let her in your home every evening because you’re heating it anyway, let her put a T-shirt in every single washing machine load because you’re doing it anyway, etc etc.

You are paying the petrol every day for three years, asking her to contribute is not much especially as her normal commuting costs are zero.

Stand your ground. Her paying half is still much cheaper for her, and goes some way towards a ‘tax’ that you have to put up with her in the car and can’t use the drive as your silent time, or learning French time, or howling at the moon time, or whatever else you normally do in the car.

I am shocked that the friend asked for a lift without insisting on contributing to fuel costs or something.

It's really stingy to ask if it's only for a week and you're going that way anyway. Giving her a lift won't cost you anything. That said, most people would offer to pay.

@Washinginthesun YANBU. She's missing the point. How would she get home if you didn't agree to give her a lift? Train? Coach? How much would that cost her? However much it would be, that's what you are saving her by agreeing to give her a lift. She's being cheap if she thinks she can save money on her usual transport method, but not contribute to your fuel/depreciation costs. Please point this out to her and then tell her how much she needs to give you. Of course, if she doesn't want to pay you, she can get home the way she usually does and pay the costs for that.

Or, to put it another way, if she's going to have to pay for a train ticket anyway, it's a bit mean to try to make a profit by not offering to share that saving.

You are both unreasonable, I think. You aren't going to be out of pocket giving her a lift, so didn't need to ask for petrol money. When asked for a contribution, she should just have said yes without quibbling though.

This
You both sound like some growing up is needed.

Ywnu to ask as such
Sibu to refuse to contribute
But swnbu for thinking you are stingy

For one week, I wouldn’t ask for fuel money. If it were a regular occurrence, yes, but for one week when you’re heading that way anyway, it just doesn’t feel right.

However, if I were the friend who was receiving the lift, I would offer money, or at least treat you to a nice coffee/breakfast one morning on the journey as a thank you.