Who is unreasonable re fuel?

It just really betrays such a selfish, entitled mindset.

What would she have said if you'd offered to provide the car and drive it as your generous contribution, but as she was needing to go there anyway, she could pay for all of the petrol and you and the other girl would tag along for free, every single time, as it wouldn't cost her any extra for you to do so?

I really don't get why being the one who owns the car - and already pays all of the considerable costs and maintenance - and can drive 'earns' you the 'privilege' of paying for all of the petrol for joint journeys as well.

Just because a joint cost isn't broken down into individual 'per person' prices, that doesn't automatically mean that everybody shouldn't pay their own share.

What next? Housemates expecting one person to pay for all the electricity for the heating and lighting, as it would cost the same if they lived alone? Would it be fair with a house with 6 (non-exempt, equally earning) adults in it for one to be expected to pay the base 75% of the council tax that a single adult occupant would incur on their own anyway, then the other 5 only pay the 5% each that it costs extra to make it up to the full 100%?

The other girl clearly understood that she was getting a good deal for a comfortable, convenient door-to-door ride and was happy to contribute for it; how odd that the CF believed that she should have exactly the same, but fully subbed by others.

Can’t be that easy after all considering I do drive 🤔

I don’t believe those stats at all by the way - 18p per mile for someone sat in your passenger seat? Nah.

That sounds a bit ropey, wherever it got those figures from.

Yes, it does make some difference, when you have more weight in the car; but if a standard car already weighs something like between 1,000 and 2,500kg and it costs maybe 15-30p per mile to shift it, that would surely mean that a person costing 13p would have to weigh somewhere upwards of 800kg to cost that much - 127 stone!!

As you are going anyway, I think you are unreasonable to ask. But as you have asked, I think she is unreasonable to say no.

I am cringing for you OP. I'd expect a contribution for a long term arrangement but for a week or so? I couldn't ask but an offer would be nice (I'd refuse)

And further, how do you know its not true?

Can you provide more accurate figures please because I, and I am sure many others, would be very interested to know.

I will check my maths if you learn to read a full post.

I didnt claim that I made these calculations.

As a driver myself. YABU if you’re going there anyway!

13p per mile per person!!
check your maths, that’s bonkers and nowhere near true.

For a few days I’d never expect compensation.
Too transactional for me.

she is unreasonable to not offer something, even a meal out or a gift voucher.

I’m a driver and a lift giver. I’m not going to weigh my passengers to decide what to charge them for a lift!

forgot to say, make sure they come to you not you go to them if you do give the lift. they need to be there by 8:15 or you are leaving and not waiting.

She is gaining a benefit by coming with you. Do your lessons start at the same time? Do you finish at the same time? If the answer is no then don't inconvenience yourself. If you want to go somewhere else after uni then say sorry, I'm going to visit XYZ or going into town.
You are not a taxi. It will annoy you. They don't have to pay every day but even a token gesture of £10 would be welcome.

It's long enough to be a hassle. She should have offered the cash, as any reasonable person would have.

If you’re chatty BFF’s then I can’t see why you’d ask for fuel money. But if she’s a kinda friend then 90min in a car each day is actually a big ask. I love just blasting music and being on my own so suddenly having a passenger who thinks I’m doing them no favour wouldn’t be happening. I assume OP pays for some sort of parking as well. I don’t think asking for £5/day or whatever is a huge ask.

She's a cf. Stand your ground.

Easy to spot the non drivers on this thread!

Weight makes a difference to fuel consumption. It takes more effort, and therefore fuel, to move a heavy load than it does a light load, simple science. So it will cost the OP more in fuel that week. why should she be out of pocket?

ETA - According to google AI (yes I know, but its a guide) it cost between 13p and 18p per mile for each passenger in a car. So thats what it will cost the OP.

Guess depends how good a friend they are.

This.

If I was the friend I'd absolutely be offering some money. I'd find it quite rude not to! Especially at 45 mins each way - that's quite a hefty journey otherwise, especially on public transport.

Plus having to lift share sucks. No flexibility. No unashamed loud singing in the morning. No farting.

@Washinginthesun if she's not willing to pay, then I'd perhaps be a little pedantic e.g. go in super early one of the mornings, or have to take a detour on the way home for a while.

Now I wouldn’t have asked for petrol money. However now that she’s said no then I’d be petty and not take her

I have an electric car. where are you getting free charge from please? @Boredlass

I think it depends.

If its a good friend who I know would repay a favour like this then no I wouldnt ask. Like if I needed someone to help me move house or something and she would do it, then over a long friendship these things even out so it seems churlish to ask.

If its a cheeky fucker who is always on the take or someone I dont know well enough to ask for a favour in return, then I would.

That said, if I was the friend and you asked me for petrol money I would certainly pay it. Actually I would have offered when I asked for the lift. And the fact that she is arguing about it tips her over into CF territory.

I used to get lifts from a friend at university with a third friend. We both gave her petrol money. I didn’t necessarily agree with the amount, but I would have been spending it anyway and I did get home faster when she drove.

I can’t really imagine charging a good friend petrol money for a one off journey I was doing anyway, but I guess it would change if they weren’t really a good friend, had history of taking advantage and/or I had a feeling it wouldn’t be a one off.

While I totally get that you'd be going anyway, the courteous thing to do would be to offer fuel money. Where I come from that's a given!
The fact you had to ask and she then said no makes it awkward now. You're are not being unreasonable at all.

I mean, a lot of people DO get bus journeys free and that is essentially the argument for keeping routes running or not - that enough people are paying that it still warrants running, otherwise councils/bus operators cut often routes, if, for example after rush hour it's used mainly by pensioners