Who is unreasonable re fuel?

Wider context also matters here.

If friend has history for taking advantage then the op is right to insist upon petrol money.

If the op is perhaps a little under-generous or keeps a tight reign in her spending, then she might be taking it too far in this instance.

Ultimately yes its nice even friendships don't expect recompense for sharing a journey one is making anyway, but it's one of those friendship things that shouldn't be expected.

I can’t bear stingy people. Imagine asking your mate for fuel money for a journey you’re doing anyway.

if you pick her up you are going out of your way and she should have offered petrol money. If she comes round to your place I probably wouldnt have asked - but if she didnt offer something the friendship would suffer.

Voted NBU - it's CF territory to ask for a whole week of lifts and offer nothing.

How do you get free electricity?

I assume you are paying for road tax, insurance, MOTs, maintenance etc?

If she doesn't want to contribute she can get the bus? Or buy her own car after paying for driving lessons and test and insurance and tax etc?
How entitled can you be?
You're saving her money/energy.
If she doesn't get it then fuck her.

This exactly

I would never ask for fuel money for short term lift, but if I’d asked a friend and they asked for money I’d pay without pushing back. I’d also feel like they didn’t view me as a particularly good friend. It’s different if she’s generally pushy and asks for things a lot (maybe since she didn’t just agree to pay?) but it’s nice to do little favours maybe you’ll need one next time :)

I think it would be nice to offer
DD recently got a lift from a Uni friend who was going home for the weekend and lives half an hour from us (we collected her from a convenient place on the way)
DD offered to contribute to the fuel and when her friend said no I bought her a Maccers when we met to collect DD instead.

I’ve driven a colleague to work last week and this. I drive past his estate, so only go maybe 2 minutes ‘out of my way’. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to ask for money. The extra weight in the car has made no notable difference to my fuel consumption. I suppose it’s semi-transactional, as I know that if I need a similar favour, he’ll help me out.

But the fact you asked and she said no is rude.

Off topic but you need a better tariff! Assuming you’re charging at home. Costs me £3.35 for a full charge on mine at 6.7p a unit overnight. If you’re charging out and about though that makes sense, not really as economically advantageous if you’re charging away from home unfortunately.

Seriously?

Because she is making the journey anyway?

Because it won't cost her any extra?

Because it's normal to help friends when you can?

Because most people aren't that transactional about their relationships?

I didn't drive at uni, best friend did. I didn't offer petrol money every single time we shared a journey but I did offer regularly.

When you claim car expenses at work, you're compensated not just for the petrol but for wear & tear. Technically, this will be a little more with an extra passenger.

I agree that as she lives very close it seems a bit much to ask for petrol money but if its a regular thing then petrol money should be offered regardless. Also if I were to ask my friend who lived next door to regularly join her on her daily journey to work because we worked in the same place I would both offer petrol money and expect to be asked for it.

So, in short yanbu.

If roles were reversed, would you offer petrol money if you were the hopeful passenger?

If you werent around, she would have to PAY to go, wouldnt she?

Whether by boat, train, moped or hovercraft - there is a cost involved.

You going is a red herring. Either she pays or she can fuck off and make her own way there.

So many wet lettuces out there. Fuck her OP - no money, no lift, not your problem.

This!

This really...

Or at least she could shout you lunch or an after uni drink/coffee.

Nothing to do with people thinking that the world owes them free lifts. It is more to do with how people manage their friendships.

I wouldn't be interested in friendships that were that petty and transactional, personally. In my mind, that's not how friendship works.

Neither the OP nor her friend sound like the kind of people I would want to build friendships with.

I wouldn't charge in that situation. And if I was the recipient of the lifts, I'd probably be surprised to be asked for cash, but would pay up as long as the amount asked was in line with half of actual costs. I would have planned to buy lunch on the Friday/buy a round/flowers and chocs instead of cash as that seems a bit more "thanks for the lift, my friend" rather than a transactional "I'll only do you a favour if there's something in it for me".

Personally if it's a friend I wouldn't charge her.

But I would expect her to offer, and me to then say don't worry about it.

Her attitude would bother me. Most of my friends would offer without me having to ask.

In your situation I don't think I'd give her a lift.

I wouldn’t ask but it would be nice if she offered.

The fact you’ve asked and she’s refusing would really piss me off though. Yes you’re already going that way but surely it would cost her a lot more to get public transport than splitting the petrol cost. I imagine a lot longer too. If she doesn’t want to split she can get the bus or whatever, bet she changes her mind quickly!

I wouldn't dream of asking someone for money for petrol for a journey I was making anyway.

I wouldn't ask for fuel money, it wouldn't occur to me if it was for a good friend, especially if living on the next street and just for one week.
If it were a permanrnt arrangement then yes work out a money split for but a few days to help a friend out and you are literally going the same way, then why would you be so petty?

Precisely, the bus driver is being paid.

Why should the OP not be?

I think it was slightly unreasonable to ask, and totally unreasonable for her to say no! I know times are tight but it's not that much money! Not worth falling out over.

A heavier car costs more in fuel. It's good manners to offer something.