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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Looking for desperate advice

56 replies

sansalab · 08/04/2025 11:31

Hello mums,
ive got a 3 week old baby, and we are starting to struggle financially very badly.
I’m on maternity allowance not SMP so get £187 per week. My OH earns around £32,000 before tax which may seem a lot but after bills and everything we are skint. I pay household bills and he pays rent and car payments. Our rent is £850 for a 3 bed, it’s a shitehole, mold infested and our hob doesn’t even work so I can’t cook properly. The rest of wage goes on his car payment and emergency money if there is anything left.
My household bills cost me around £900 so it leaves me to have to use overdraft and credit cards to pay for electricity and food. Please don’t work out the maths, we don’t have enough.
UC wont touch us as we earn to much but we are worse off.
I’ve sold all my valuables on to pay for previous bills and to get by.
we have no savings, my OH is locked into a financial deal with his car so we can’t sell it.
So what the hell do I do, Mother in law can look after my DD for 1-2 days a week, I can put DD in nursary at 8 weeks for £80 a day !!! If I get a job the most I will earn is roughly £30 k, I can’t work self employed on MAT allowance.
I don’t know what people do in our position.
Please give so advice as one stressed mum can’t even afford food this week.

OP posts:
Greensaysgo · 08/04/2025 11:42

Get in touch with CAP financial advice. Completely free. They're amazing x

Vincenoirsrootboost · 08/04/2025 11:39

You’ll get help and advice here. There will be help available.

www.turn2us.org.uk/

MojoMoon · 08/04/2025 11:38

I know you said don't do the maths but how else is anyone supposed to help?

Take home pay each month: 2313
Mat allowance: 748

So combined income: 3061

Outgoings per month
Rent: 850
Bills: 900

Leaves you 1311 per month for food, clothes, car, other spending

How much is the car?!

Because on paper, it isn't great but it does not look like you can't afford to eat.

shellyleppard · 08/04/2025 11:38

Write down every single bill that your household pays. Be absolutely brutal and include everything. See what you can cut back so just a basic television, no sky or netflix. See what you can cut back on, is there any hidden debt you don't know about?

ExtraOnions · 08/04/2025 11:37

To echo PP

It’s hard for anyone to give advice, as it’s not clear how much you have coming in, and what your expenses are - line by line.

Runningoutofthyme · 08/04/2025 11:34

Has something changed that’s put you in this position? Not a helpful comment but did you not work this through before having a baby?

Its unlikely to be financial deal that you can’t get out of car wise, apart from selling the car for less than the deal and having to pay a bit it might still leave you in a better position

you need to raise the issue with the landlord re the hob

why are you paying. £900pm but your oh £850 when you’re on smp?

best to list all your of income & out goings at the moment and see if you can get some helpful advice on ways to cut back