Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
AtIusvue · 17/05/2025 17:03

Make sure you sort the glass recycling…get the wine bottles and beer bottles making the most noise possible.

Also just start shouting random kids names every so often (ones she might find a bit common)

WonderingWanda · 17/05/2025 16:57

Please do lots of noisy recycling, put your sprinklers on, water pistol fight, borrow a yappy dog, have a bonfire, maybe even a rave and do some Dom Jolly style talking on your mobile phone on these dates.

What a daft woman she is.

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 16:56

Charmofgoldfinch · 17/05/2025 16:22

I bloody love you OP!!! And your mates sound ace!! Enjoy your sunny day in your garden -blare out vengaboys from me!

It’s on the list!! Love vengaboys 😂

OP posts:
Ineedcoffee2021 · 17/05/2025 16:53

The kids really need water balloons.....

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 17/05/2025 16:52

OP, if you're having Karaoke then you need to invite me round. I am the worst singer known to mankind and can empty a room with my rendition of 'Titanium'. As a bonus, if I sing outside, all the local dogs join in.

WhiteRosesAndCandles · 17/05/2025 16:44

Have a lovely afternoon.

travellinglighter · 17/05/2025 16:42

if you were local to me, I’d offer your garden to the local corps of drums to practice in.

WearyAuldWumman · 17/05/2025 16:40

MrsMoastyToasty · 17/05/2025 16:27

Do you know anyone who plays the bagpipes? They are bloody loud! (I'm married into a bagpipe playing family).
They don't need to be able to play well.
Even better if they have a friend to play the snare drum.
They don't need to be able to play well.

Failing that: a piano accordion.

OneLastTryToday · 17/05/2025 16:38

Maybe the weather will turn rainy and her events will be cancelled.
There may even be some puddles.

Ineedcoffee2021 · 17/05/2025 16:36

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 15:32

Hehe no I haven’t gone out and I have 5 kids over and two of my besties (of course, they were heavily invested)
It’s a glorious day so the paddling pool will be making an appearance shortly. Next door neighbour has just made an appearance, with two “well to do” friends so far. Party must have started at 3pm so I am hoping for more guests her side.
We are currently having a glass of rose while spying on them, we are trying to ear wig on their conversations too to see how high brow they are too.
Plan of attack is:

4pm paddling pool
4:30pm music
5:00pm light bbq
6:00pm karaoke

😂

This is brilliant!

ZepherinDrouhin · 17/05/2025 16:29

Remember to get the telly out and put the FA cup final on! Come on Palace!

MrsMoastyToasty · 17/05/2025 16:27

Do you know anyone who plays the bagpipes? They are bloody loud! (I'm married into a bagpipe playing family).
They don't need to be able to play well.
Even better if they have a friend to play the snare drum.
They don't need to be able to play well.

Pickledpoppetpickle · 17/05/2025 16:24

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

This.

Outrageistheopiateofthemasses · 17/05/2025 16:23

Have fun OP. Please post back later and let us know how it all goes

Charmofgoldfinch · 17/05/2025 16:22

I bloody love you OP!!! And your mates sound ace!! Enjoy your sunny day in your garden -blare out vengaboys from me!

viques · 17/05/2025 16:20

I think I might be planning my own , very exclusive, mini Glastonbury. Clearly too late to actually get any of the big names to attend, but you can play their music and cut out a few look a likes out of cardboard, then rustle up a few flags on very long poles, throw a few giant beach balls around (“ So sorry Audrey, do you mind throwing it back!”), put a bucket in your garden shed for a toilet ( if you have a compost heap meals visitors can pee on the compost but no pooing.) Cook up some bbq, invite friends with children round for a childrens day, facepainting , parachute games, giant bubbles etc and all the adults dressed as clowns.

Noshadelamp · 17/05/2025 16:19

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 15:32

Hehe no I haven’t gone out and I have 5 kids over and two of my besties (of course, they were heavily invested)
It’s a glorious day so the paddling pool will be making an appearance shortly. Next door neighbour has just made an appearance, with two “well to do” friends so far. Party must have started at 3pm so I am hoping for more guests her side.
We are currently having a glass of rose while spying on them, we are trying to ear wig on their conversations too to see how high brow they are too.
Plan of attack is:

4pm paddling pool
4:30pm music
5:00pm light bbq
6:00pm karaoke

😂

I love how you're lulling her into a false sense of security and starting your mission at 4pm.

Here for the updates 🍸

catmothertes1 · 17/05/2025 16:04

That would be the day when I would dry all of all of our underwear out in the garden!

Thirteenblackcat · 17/05/2025 16:02

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 15:32

Hehe no I haven’t gone out and I have 5 kids over and two of my besties (of course, they were heavily invested)
It’s a glorious day so the paddling pool will be making an appearance shortly. Next door neighbour has just made an appearance, with two “well to do” friends so far. Party must have started at 3pm so I am hoping for more guests her side.
We are currently having a glass of rose while spying on them, we are trying to ear wig on their conversations too to see how high brow they are too.
Plan of attack is:

4pm paddling pool
4:30pm music
5:00pm light bbq
6:00pm karaoke

😂

Love this ❤️

OldCottageGreenhouse · 17/05/2025 16:01

Nooooo start the Karaoke & everything else, all at 4! If you leave Karaoke until 6:30, then it may be over by then! If there’s no proper noise coming from yours for those couple of hours after they’ve started, they’ll think you’ve given in to them!

whatsappdoc · 17/05/2025 15:58

Is it a silent party? How would they hear the washing machine?

AlliBallyBoo · 17/05/2025 15:57

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 15:32

Hehe no I haven’t gone out and I have 5 kids over and two of my besties (of course, they were heavily invested)
It’s a glorious day so the paddling pool will be making an appearance shortly. Next door neighbour has just made an appearance, with two “well to do” friends so far. Party must have started at 3pm so I am hoping for more guests her side.
We are currently having a glass of rose while spying on them, we are trying to ear wig on their conversations too to see how high brow they are too.
Plan of attack is:

4pm paddling pool
4:30pm music
5:00pm light bbq
6:00pm karaoke

😂

Don't forget the fire pit at 7:30pm 🔥🔥

ScruffMuffin · 17/05/2025 15:45

OP, you are just brilliant! Your plans haven't disappointed, and I hope you, your friends and all the kids have a wonderful afternoon! Most of all, I hope this teaches would-be posh neighbour that she can't dictate how and when people use their own garden!

Catofthesouth · 17/05/2025 15:45

Is her name Janet, by any chance? If so I know her, she used to live with my cousin and insisted they have ‘garden suite’ on their many speedy cruises (he paid).

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 15:32

Hehe no I haven’t gone out and I have 5 kids over and two of my besties (of course, they were heavily invested)
It’s a glorious day so the paddling pool will be making an appearance shortly. Next door neighbour has just made an appearance, with two “well to do” friends so far. Party must have started at 3pm so I am hoping for more guests her side.
We are currently having a glass of rose while spying on them, we are trying to ear wig on their conversations too to see how high brow they are too.
Plan of attack is:

4pm paddling pool
4:30pm music
5:00pm light bbq
6:00pm karaoke

😂

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread