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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
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PrincessHoneysuckle · 07/04/2025 19:08

🤣🤣 wtaf

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 07/04/2025 19:08

I would liaise with the other neighbours and organise a bash of your own and give it a loud n lewd theme or an all night festival vibe xx

Deathinparadisefan · 07/04/2025 19:07

That’s hilarious. 🤣

What a snooty cow.

Imisscoffee2021 · 07/04/2025 19:07

I'd also counter with saying something like oh if they are well to do then they wouldn't want the locale trapped indoors unable to enjoy their privately owned space, tres gauche don't you agree?

Ribenaberry12 · 07/04/2025 19:07

Ha! I’d’ve laughed in her face. And sunbathed in the garden with my tits out on the day of said parties.

truecrimelover · 07/04/2025 19:06

Quick, plan your piss-up!! You got the dates, I dare you 😂

Skincondition · 07/04/2025 19:06

Aren’t you hosting the MN summer party on one of those days …😂

vandelier · 07/04/2025 19:05

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Whyherewego · 07/04/2025 19:05

Wow. That's so mad it's quite funny really

"Noted"

Imisscoffee2021 · 07/04/2025 19:05

If they're that well to do they can hire an outdoor space, preferably with a ha-ha so the peasants can go about their menial business out of sight of these guests. If they haven't the funds then they shall have to put up with seeing you doing the bin run.

I'd be tempted to stick a fascinator on for each venture into the garden, that gets progressively more lavish with each trip.

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 19:05

TheCosyRain · 07/04/2025 18:59

This is honestly amazing 🤣. Is she Hyacinth Bucket!? I would be making full use of my garden on those days and pop my head over the fence to say hi too!

Yes she’s a close fit to a Hyacinth Bucket! This shouldn’t come as a surprise really. DH just reminded me that last year he witnessed her telling off the neighbours on the other side to her for putting a deck chair on their front garden as “that’s not the front garden was intended for” . They’re clearly not prepared to mess with her again!

OP posts:
Lindererer32 · 07/04/2025 19:04

That would definitely make me want to arrange a garden party. That's bonkers to ask a neighbour not to use their garden.

vandelier · 07/04/2025 19:04

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tipsyraven · 07/04/2025 19:04

HellenaHandbag · 07/04/2025 18:53

I would be telling my neighbour to FO

Same here.

M777 · 07/04/2025 19:04

Bahahahahahahaha

i think you just need to send her a link to some lovely detached houses nearby that might suit her better

andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 07/04/2025 19:04

You mentioned the gate to her garden. Is it a terrace street where there is access to each other's gardens for bins etc? We have friends who live in similar and have parties and there is a sort of informal agreement not to come through the garden between their neighbours when they have guests, but to say you can't go into YOUR garden or even have your door open is ridiculous.

BusySittingDown · 07/04/2025 19:04

Ignore her!

In fact, I hope it torrential rains on her planned dates. Cheeky bitch!

SallyD00lally · 07/04/2025 19:03

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Tooty78 · 07/04/2025 19:03

I'd hire a bouncy castle for the day.

MyKingdomForACat · 07/04/2025 19:03

Make sure you’re sitting on the back doorstep with a fag on

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/04/2025 19:03

Oh, OP.

You could have some real fun with this.

Do you have a male partner or friend who would be up for strutting around in a Borat style mankini?

faerietales · 07/04/2025 19:03

I would be planning very loud, group get-togethers on every single date she gave me, plus some more for good measure.

Arlanymor · 07/04/2025 19:03

Whatifitallgoesright · 07/04/2025 19:01

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Q8v1eZdaGDfjzd2nTieeE?si=4114247bdf914400
This is a spotify playlist called 'Because fuck neighbours'. It's a treat. You'll need to take up smoking weed too, if at all possible.

Oh my god this is hilarious! I'm lucky because I have lovely neighbours, but this just tickled me so much!

SpringIsSpringing25 · 07/04/2025 19:02

jeaux90 · 07/04/2025 18:56

Fuck that, I’d be having a BBQ those days CFs!!

& i've been inviting a friend of mine who can't cook on the barbecue and incinerates everything!!

Plus their delightful children who love game with the huge water guns!!

A few dogs that don't get on very well

Local teenage band (let's say struggling artists)

& anything else obnoxious I could think of

I'm assuming the OP is just on a wind up, surely no one is this fucking ridiculous??

DeepLimeBird · 07/04/2025 19:02

Where do you live and what are the dates? We’ll all come round for a boozy blaring bbq

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