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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
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6
WearyAuldWumman · 07/04/2025 19:16

FuzzyPuffling · 07/04/2025 18:58

Time to spread some really smelly compost. Fish guts would be good. You could do it the day before, so technically you are abiding by her batshit rules.

Chicken waste pellets are nice and fragrant.

MissJeanBrodiesmother · 07/04/2025 19:16

Utterly bonkers. Tell her you will of course use your garden. If she wants complete privacy she needs to book a private venue.

Pianoaholic · 07/04/2025 19:16

I thought she was going to invite you to one of her parties!
What is she actually going to be able to do if you use your own garden on these dates?!

ASimpleLampoon · 07/04/2025 19:16

Tell her to fuck off and buy an air horn/ vuvuzela

Bikergran · 07/04/2025 19:16

I'd be inviting my mates around on the same day for my own garden party....the ones who get a bit loud after a few proseccos.....

ohtowinthelottery · 07/04/2025 19:16

Tell her she needs to stop having "garden parties" so she can save her money to buy a country pile, where she can host parties without having to worry about the neighbours going about their daily business.
Your neighbour is batsh*t

WearyAuldWumman · 07/04/2025 19:16

PoopingAllTheWay · 07/04/2025 18:57

I would purposely be in my garden with very loud obscene music playing songs with the worse swear words you can find 🤪😅

When my mum was annoyed with noise from the neighbours, she used to set up my music stand and chair on the back green and tell me to play my accordion.

More than 50 yrs later, I am available to hire. Will work for wine.

LoreOfBabylon · 07/04/2025 19:15

This is hilarious. Is your neighbour called Hyacinth by any chance?

Anjo2011 · 07/04/2025 19:15

Tell her April Fools Day was the 1st of the month. Cheeky fucker.

Picklelily99 · 07/04/2025 19:14

HellenaHandbag · 07/04/2025 18:53

I would be telling my neighbour to FO

Hell yes!

londongirl12 · 07/04/2025 19:14

This would force me to be in my garden!! What a CF!

TheWitchwithNoName · 07/04/2025 19:14

You need a teenager with an electric guitar. I have one you can borrow ☺️

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 07/04/2025 19:14

Tell her if she wants to rent a view of your unoccupied garden it's five hundred quid a day.

Teaandtoastserveddaily · 07/04/2025 19:14

Well that'd be me sitting in my garden smoking endless ciggies whilst in my dressing gown of doom, op. Probably pop a bit of radiohead's most depressing tunes on too.

MyNameIsX · 07/04/2025 19:13

It rather begs the question.

If her friends are ‘well to do’, why is she not also living in a ‘well to do’ neighbourhood, as opposed to one where she is compelled to ask her neighbours not to have ‘quiet enjoyment’ of their own gardens.

I would reply ‘no’ with a comment that it would create a potential ‘easement’, or similar.

tsmainsqueeze · 07/04/2025 19:12

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

😂yes to this !
maybe a spliff too.

Lanzarotelady · 07/04/2025 19:12

I'd be sat in a deckchair in my pj's, no bra, hair scraped back, swigging a can of carling - I might even learn to smoke

stayathomer · 07/04/2025 19:12

I’m glad you let her know it was ridiculous!

harriethoyle · 07/04/2025 19:12

I can think of NOTHING more guaranteed to ensure I was out in the garden with my rowdiest mates from dawn to dusk than this request. Cheeky cow!!

Mickeychampionwhatgoodami · 07/04/2025 19:11

There's being a good neighbour and there's being a doormat.
She's CF of the highest order.

PoundlandColumbo · 07/04/2025 19:11

Sod that for a game of soldiers. I'd be out there with a fucking trumpet.

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 19:11

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 07/04/2025 19:08

I would liaise with the other neighbours and organise a bash of your own and give it a loud n lewd theme or an all night festival vibe xx

I think I will! My DH talks to them more than I do so I have asked them to make sure they have a) been asked and b) whether they want to join forces in having a convo over the fence that day with Mrs Bucket and her posh friends in the middle!

OP posts:
Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Curious though why you waste your time and energy on here then? I always try to be a good neighbour and wanted to gain some perspective, that is all!

OP posts:
Mickeychampionwhatgoodami · 07/04/2025 19:08

I'd be inviting some pot smoking/crack pipe tooters round that day 🖕

AiryFairyLights · 07/04/2025 19:08

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

Hope the weather's nice...... Time for an impromptu Mumsnet BBQ in your back garden @Aliceglass what were those dates again?????

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