To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

Bloody hell!!
Can you order some garden manure to arrive on the day(s)?

If her friends are so easily distracted at one of her patties, I would say they're not being suitably entertained.

Would have to be a bloody boring party to be disturbed by you putting some recycling out.

This is actually hilarious! 100% I would be out in my garden being as embarrassing as possible and befriending her guests

😂 Make it voddy

Wow. I think you've got a real life Karen there, OP. I'd take that as a challenge not a friendly request

We can script you some lines, just pretend to be the biggest MumsNet Viper you can think of.

'Terribly sorry dear, we checked those dates you mentioned again and they clash awfully with our drum practice and lawn mowing schedule. We'll try to be quick for you but no promises, who knows what the weather may do tinkly laugh'

I hate confrontation but I learned to pretend to be someone else, so now I pick from a range of people I can easily imagine, depending on the situation. For this, I think I'd be Liza Tarbuck, I can absolutely see her snorting in someones face at the very idea of you being banned from your own back garden!

Another excellent tactic is to take everything she says the wrong way.

Her: 'We're having some evening soirees so...'

You: 'Oh we'd be DELIGHTED to come but I'll have to check with Roger to see if we're both available. Not to worry though, if he is busy I'll bring insert name of loudest person you know/another neighbour..'

Her: 'Um, no I was going to ask you to stay indoors during...'

You: 'Stay indoors? Oh you mean at yours, to help you prep all the food? Oh I don't know about that, I can bring a dish though, I make a marvellous spam and pea terrine. You use plenty of aspic, its a delight!...

Just totally railroad the conversation and keep making wild suggestions until she thinks its best to shut up and fuck off.

True story.

My late husband was brought up on Balmoral Estate - his dad was a gardener there. For a while, DH worked in the forestry division.

One time when he got home from work, the Queen Mother was in the kitchen, speaking to his mum.

DH was only a young lad and didn't know what to do - so he stuck out his mucky hand and shook the Queen's Mother. No complaints from her.

As well as the grotty pjs how about walking around with an empty can of Stella too 😂

I would actually now plan to have people round on those days and spend time in the garden with them.

Cheeky entitled fucker.

^^

Have a BBQ, rent a bouncy castle and sing oasis on the Karaoke until 11pm

I'd be renting a trampoline and lighting the bbq, burning some green wood.

The really funny thing is that people who are genuinely "well to do" would have absolutely no issue with anyone nearby using their garden for their usual activities, even when a garden party is taking place!

...Speaking as someone who grew up in a village full of "well to do" people. Occasionally a note would be dropped through the door advising that a party would be taking place, but with assurances that noise would stop after x time and/or with an invitation to join!

Silly woman. I'd be liaising with all the other neighbours who have (allegedly) agreed to this nonsense, just to see if she's lying. And then, how about arranging a sort of rolling party, moving from garden to garden, so that if you needed a break you could keep the noise going?

Do you have space for a trampoline in your front garden? Borrow a few children, pump them to the gills with sugar, Baby Shark playing loudly on repeat and let them at it. Then plop yourself on your front door step, light a spliff and relax :)

what total bs, never heard anything so silly in my life, so they can make a loud noise in their garden but you have to be quiet, laugh in her face crack on with your bins mow your lawn etc .

I will bring my dog who barks at the wind, my speakers, and an endless playlist of chiptune (music made from game consoles)

I'd be inviting the loudest, most common fun people I know to come drink pink sunshine wine from breakfast time and playing all my favorite dodgy 80s tunes while singing along badly to them in my shorts

Your neighbour is bonkers.

If I didn’t remember the thread about the bins in the front/side of the house, I would think the whole story was a scenario for an episode in a new season of “ Two doors down”. I’d be honored to attend on one of the scheduled party days and can also bring along my dog, who wouldn’t bark but can offer a background of blood curdling howling

Oh those would be the days I have to jet wash the rugs, and the yard, and hang out my biggest pants (and they're pretty much tent sized). I like to do all this whilst playing G.W.A.R. Really gets me in the mood for a bit of cleaning.

to be honest, because i'm REALLY petty, I'd be saying "choose between me just behaving normally, or me renting a hot tub and inviting all my chavvy mates over for aperol spritz and BBQ"

I'm not surprised you were left shocked! You should hire out an inflatable hot tub for your garden and have the time of your life when she has a party scheduled.

I'd join you