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Original poster

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
myheadsjustmush · 07/04/2025 21:25

Oh and don't forget to leave a pile of rubbish bags at the front of your house, because your dustbin is full.....isn't it? 😂

WildFlowerBees · 07/04/2025 21:25

This would be a good time for you to suddenly decide to try anal gazing, sunning your bum hole with incense burning and singing bowls playing with a few mantras chucked in for good measure.

Topseyt123 · 07/04/2025 21:24

Have a fireworks party on each of the dates of her soirees. Have loads of your own friends round with any children they have. Plan some party games and races for them with lots of cheerleading and shrieking. 🤣🤣

Honestly, your neighbour is a cheeky fuckwit. I'd have told her that I was fine with her soirees but would offer her no guarantee that I would not be doing similar in my own garden.

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 07/04/2025 21:24

Legopotamus · 07/04/2025 18:55

I'd be actively using mine on those days.

This. She can fuck off.

Sayithowiseeit · 07/04/2025 21:23

Do you know anyone who has a pet hamster/rats/mice, hop over her fence and sprinkle their poop like an enthusiastic flower girl right before said party

ruethewhirl · 07/04/2025 21:23

She's taking the absolute piss and either her friends are insufferable or she's socially anxious and possibly a raging snob

Some great suggestions here from pps.

OuchyEars · 07/04/2025 21:23

What you need is a bucket of hyacinths to place by her front gate about 10 minutes before the start time.
Actually you will probably need several to keep replacing them as they get noticed.
Plastic hyacinths are available.

TortolaParadise · 07/04/2025 21:22

Hyacinth Bucket!!!!!! is your neighbour.🙄

JudgeJ · 07/04/2025 21:22

Poppins2016 · 07/04/2025 20:53

The really funny thing is that people who are genuinely "well to do" would have absolutely no issue with anyone nearby using their garden for their usual activities, even when a garden party is taking place!

...Speaking as someone who grew up in a village full of "well to do" people. Occasionally a note would be dropped through the door advising that a party would be taking place, but with assurances that noise would stop after x time and/or with an invitation to join!

I remember living in Officers' family quarters, if one had the bbq going then bratties etc were tossed along the gardens then sent back ready to eat with rolls and all the trimmings!

Sayithowiseeit · 07/04/2025 21:22

I also have cat litter from 3 cats, great suggestion from pp there.

IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear · 07/04/2025 21:18

“Well to do”? Are her guests the Major and the vicar? Does your neighbour have a sister who has a Mercedes, swimming pool and room for a pony at her gaff?

Quiettiger · 07/04/2025 21:17

MyDeftDuck · 07/04/2025 19:35

I would be getting myself down to the garden centre and buying several bags of manure. I would then leave it stacked up in the garden during this gloriously warm weather and THEN, on the day of the entitled neighbours first garden party I would be opening one of the bags of ripe and steaming manure to spread it on MY GARDEN in MY TIME at MY CONVENIENCE!

No, don't use manure, use manky used cat litter that has been fermenting in a box for a few weeks. It's rank, especially if it's been allowed to warm up.

myheadsjustmush · 07/04/2025 21:17

Wedontdeservedogs · 07/04/2025 21:16

Start calling her "Hyacinth Bucket"

Then shout in your best Hyacinth Bucket voice

"Emmet! Is that you?" - then burst into song.......😂

Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 07/04/2025 21:17

Definitely the hot tub. And maybe a noise complaint on the night.

Mischance · 07/04/2025 21:17

I feel a drum workshop coming on, with plenty of hippy types and a bit of weed to waft their way. Cheeky mare!

HonoraBridge · 07/04/2025 21:17

This is absolutely bonkers! Your neighbour is totally out of order.

Wedontdeservedogs · 07/04/2025 21:16

Start calling her "Hyacinth Bucket"

OhcantthInkofaname · 07/04/2025 21:16

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

I'd be as near to nude as possible, and singing loudly!

myheadsjustmush · 07/04/2025 21:15

Christ your neighbour is charming isn't she?!!

Now you have the dates for her little garden parties, I would do the following:

*Walk round all day in your scruffiest clothes, drinking, belching and randomly bursting into song.

*Have an all day, very smoky, BBQ

*Buy loads of alcohol

*Invite lots of friends and family around to drink above alcohol

*When alcohol has been consumed, stand on a box and strike up a conversation
with your neighbours snobby friends over the fence. If you have more than one
box, encourage friends and family to do the same.

*If boxes are unavailable, try lifting up a fence panel instead

*Set up a big paddling pool

*Invite every child you know to play in the above paddling pool

*Have a water fight with extremely large water guns (being careful to not let water go over the fence into your neighbour's garden) 😜

*Have a load of manure delivered for your garden

*Arrange for your drive to be jet washed after above manure has been moved

*Book a window cleaner (a very slow one, preferably)

*Arrange a visit from the Jehova's witnesses for your neighbour

*Play any music that your neighbour will not like

That's just for starters. God I would have a field day if my neighbour gave these orders to me! 😂

MargolyesofBeelzebub · 07/04/2025 21:14

Haha loving the suggestions, here are mine:

  • Find a bunch of dogs with blocked anal glands and let them loose in your garden to bum-scoot about for a few hours..
  • Have a shower in your bikini out back and have a good shave, claiming the inside shower isn't working. Make sure to give them all a good wave and a merry chuckle, flinging some shaving foam over the fence accidentally.
  • Invite lots of people round for a swingball tournament, but make sure it's really serious (like Wimbledon) and each player MUST make loud, almost sexual grunts every time they hit the ball.
  • Hang your grottiest undies, or your sexiest, out to dry on the Juliet balcony
Frequency · 07/04/2025 21:14

You need to find a hot tub and a trampoline to borrow.

Baggyprincess · 07/04/2025 21:14

To warn you of the dates for your convenience is one thing, to even request for you not to use your garden on those dates is CFery of the highest order.

But, probably unwittingly, she’s given you a shopping list of all the behaviours she won’t tolerate and the dates when to do ‘em!! Do your worst OP but be warned I think your neighbour has already aged worst neighbour award!

jamimmi · 07/04/2025 21:13

Oh this made me laugh, literally just spoke to our lovely neighbours to let them know we are planning dd 18th and apologies in advance for 1 night of a bit of noise till midnight , and yes we will be in. She often goes to her dd at weekends so I have warned her in advance, party is in June. I plan wine and flowers after , and if she's in the garden that's fine. Obviously inshould have told her not to leave the house and be quiet!

Curlygirl06 · 07/04/2025 21:13

If I've got my pet giraffe and got it lead trained by then, I'll pop round. He'll love looking over the fence! (If you know, you know!!)😂😂

ScaryM0nster · 07/04/2025 21:12

My money is on it being a series of swinging parties.

Or, if you’re confident it isn’t.

Tell her that it clashes with your planned events. And that given hers sounds similar maybe could double up on some of them to add to the excitement.