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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
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6
HornungTheHelpful · 07/04/2025 22:10

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

Mug of buckfast, surely?

Breadcat24 · 07/04/2025 22:10

do not be miffed just ignore their request. Do not go into the garden to make a point but if you want to- do it

thewashingneverends · 07/04/2025 22:09

Also when Shakira fell out with her mother in law, she put a witch at the window facing onto her mother in law's 😂

thewashingneverends · 07/04/2025 22:08

Please have a party hire one of them blow up pubs, a hot tub, karaoke and a really smokey barbecue and cook fish 😂

ButFirstCovfefe · 07/04/2025 22:08

Arlanymor · 07/04/2025 18:58

Who does she think she is? I thought she was being nice and considerate dropping a note with the dates so that you know it might be noisier than usual, but BOOM... dictating what you can/cannot do in your own space? That's batshit. It's honestly batshit. You are not overreacting or being sensitive. Buy one of those waving person inflatables that they have at car dealerships and ONLY inflate it in your garden on the days that she is holding her parties... I mean it doesn't make any noise does it, so how can she complain?!

This! I literally can’t say any more than this

Stephenra · 07/04/2025 22:07

I would hold a charity do for street sleepers with live grunge bands.

ClearPinkPlum · 07/04/2025 22:05

I wouldn’t go out to be rude, but I also wouldn’t take any notice of her.

I would be a rather concerned where all of the garden party invitees will park though.

But I’d just live my life as normal, and hope they weren’t going to be too rowdy, rich people are ill mannered too.

If it’s nice weather, there’s nothing to stop you from having a barbecue

SadCarpetMess · 07/04/2025 22:04

Just laugh. And say no.

JayboTheObscure · 07/04/2025 22:04

Or book them a strippergram.

JayboTheObscure · 07/04/2025 22:02

I would organise a bring a brass instrument party in my back garden and invite everyone I knew.

Then just be like "Oh. I'm so sorry. I thought it was your young farmers party next week".

Or just said "Why would I use my back garden? I'll be in your back garden, scoffing all the Ferrero Roche with the Ambassador"

Smokesandeats · 07/04/2025 22:02

Can you get all the neighbouring children to kick footballs over the fence at regular intervals and pop round to get their ball back? You could borrow our neighbour’s cat who LOVES barbecues and attends every single one 😊

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 22:01

drasticdonkey · 07/04/2025 21:53

This will end up in daily mail. Oh the horror your neighbour will feel!

id be planning my own party and inviting kids, noisy friends, making sure there’s plenty of booze. And fuck it, I’ll hire a noisy hot tub. And play music… really annoying music that shows what a little commoner I really am. I’d hire a bouncy castle for kids and get some water balloons too.

I still think I’d be ok, there’s no way she is a daily mail reader. I expect she reads nothing less than a broadsheet!

OP posts:
TacCat49 · 07/04/2025 22:01

I have to ask. Is her name Hyacinth Bucket?

NotDarkGothicMama · 07/04/2025 22:00

This calls for a trip down the chazza to buy the cheapest, rattiest sofa going. You then rig out your DH in a knotted handkerchief and shorts (plus a string vest if it's a bit nippy), get out the Bluetooth speaker and cans of lager and have a loud drinking sesh in your front garden, followed up with a screeching, sweary fight and naked sunbathing in the back garden. Bonus points for hanging out your knickers on the washing line.

Trethew · 07/04/2025 21:59

You need a hot tub

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 21:59

PinkElephantsOnParade2025 · 07/04/2025 21:54

I would do the Kendrick Lamar dance to Not Like Us going to my bins over and over with a little bit of rubbish every time!

I love that song! 😆 I’m going to have to do this at the very least!!

OP posts:
Barbaraaaa · 07/04/2025 21:59

Get a trampoline, preferably one that needs WD40 on the springs and invite every child you know to jump up and down, shriek and look over the fence at them. While you are drinking your wine, sitting on the bin in your pyjamas obviously.

Baguettesandcheeseforever · 07/04/2025 21:56

Please go out in your dressing gown and slippers and begin emptying a huge box of empty lager cans into your bin and then sit out on a garden chair with the most explicit songs on you can find. Then PLEASE come back and update us with what happened

PinkElephantsOnParade2025 · 07/04/2025 21:54

I would do the Kendrick Lamar dance to Not Like Us going to my bins over and over with a little bit of rubbish every time!

drasticdonkey · 07/04/2025 21:53

This will end up in daily mail. Oh the horror your neighbour will feel!

id be planning my own party and inviting kids, noisy friends, making sure there’s plenty of booze. And fuck it, I’ll hire a noisy hot tub. And play music… really annoying music that shows what a little commoner I really am. I’d hire a bouncy castle for kids and get some water balloons too.

GiddyCrab · 07/04/2025 21:53

jeaux90 · 07/04/2025 18:56

Fuck that, I’d be having a BBQ those days CFs!!

Yes so would I. Then I'd be shouting about someone dragging the bin round to get rid of the rubbish before I hose the garden down lol.

AndImBrit · 07/04/2025 21:52

I would be cancelling ALLLLLL my plans on those dates to sit in my garden all day. Even if it was raining. With my noisy dog. Maybe having a BBQ. Definitely running the washing machine with the back door open.

Absolute batshittery.

cestlaviecherie · 07/04/2025 21:50

I was going to suggest getting a projector and playing Coronation Street or Eastenders very loudly from episode one onward

Ariel896 · 07/04/2025 21:50

I call bullshit

FleaBeeBob · 07/04/2025 21:49

Hang you less than white whites out washing out along with any seen better days pants

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