To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

Can we not?
I’d come.

That's ridiculous. I'd put all those dates on my calendar and make a point of putting out the bins, mowing the lawn, having a barbecue, jet-washing the patio etc on those days. You can't tell people not to go in their gardens!

I’d be booking a bouncy castle and inviting all the kids I know round. Every . Single . Date.

what an entitled cow. Absolutely not mate, F - OFF

I wouldn’t bet on it, I suspect she would read it online and not admit it!

I'd be re-igniting my love of rave music and lighting up a fat one. The audacity!

borrow some children and get the paddling pool out.

I suppose she expects you to make sure all your windows are closed and not to flush the toilet on her garden party days to avoid spoiling the genteel atmosphere 🙄

She would have to pay for me and my husband to go out for the day.
If she had invited you and her other neighbours to her party then there wouldn’t be a problem. She obviously thinks you are not ‘good enough’ to fit in with her imaginary posh lifestyle. Tell her to FO.

Your children joining bin the bidding has just proper made me laugh - they sound brilliant 😆

“Sure, Jan”

Sneak out just before her guest arrive and hang an upside down pineapple from her gate with a basket fashioned from pampas grass filled with condoms and a note saying keys in, protection out 😉

I was going to say she is clearly a controlling arse.

I'd put your foot down now. You have already bowed down to her demands re the coour of the fence etc- she now thinks she can dictate to you. We have a neighbour like this who made demands about things like what plants we had in our garden and the colour of the fence on OUR side. For the sake of 'good relations' we knuckled under and trust me that made a rod for our back. He has more recently demanded that DH stop feeding birds in our garden (large, detached house) and to remove a tree because he does not like the look of it. We have said this time 'No' and it has unleased all sorts of shit. Abuse over the fence- sending in his flying monkeys in the form of his adult son who tells us the sight of this tree (a cherry tree) is distressing his father - threats that due to our intransigence he will be forced to move etc. It's batshit of course- but if we had stomped on him 20 years ago we would not be dealing with this now.

I would hire a bouncy castle and invite all my friends kids over to play.

Yes, I am an evil and petty bitch.

I am sure we can all send you some ancient piece of tatty underwear for your washing line - you know, the knickers you wear the day before you go on holiday because all the good ones are packed and you don't mind these going in the bin rather than sitting in the laundry for 2 weeks. I mean obvs we would send you them clean, all you'd need to do is peg out.

The NDN is totally off her rocker.

Do you live next to hyacinth bucket?. I would tell her you will be considerate but you cannot agree to stay you of your garden. She is being so condescending.

It's nice to let you know what's happening, but who does she think she is?! I wouldn't stop using my garden! I'd still let the kids out there, and have a sit in the garden if its warm. I'd have a bbq on those dates.

Is your neighbour Hyacinth Bucket? Peep out and then hurry back inside saying 'oh it's that dreadful Bucket woman!" Or host your own counter party and dress like Daisy, Rose and Onslow

Me too! And laughing in her face as I called her request ridiculous!!

I’d be planning a lovely game of volleyball between you and your neighbours on the other side of them for those days. Or a fun water fight.
I would certainly be using my garden on those days to do your months worth of washing that day, loudly hang up my ugliest pants on the washing line, and send the kids out to play all day.

It's just a request. Take it as you like.

Better to be aware of the parties. And to be polite enough as a neighbour to not be ..

dog sitting your sister's loud dog,
sun bathing in the nude,
chopping down trees with a chain saw,
mowing the lawn,
holding a teeneger's music party .. at the same time.

If you were holding a wedding or your own garden party for charity, you would also hope that the neighbours were respectful of that.

Fair enough to challenge the neightbour on the number of days set aside for her garden parties.
If it is three or four in total for the whole year, I would be happy?

If it is more I wouldstate myoposition.
I would also expect an invitation to one of them.
Which charity does she support?

When my children were small, the house whose garden backed onto ours was being sold by auction. As it was a fine day, the auctioneer decided to hold the actual bidding part out in the garden.

I was cooking lunch and didn't know anything about it until there was a knock on the door, and a very embarrassed estate agent asked if I would mind telling my children to stop joining in with the bidding. I'm not sure whether he was more upset about the fact they were joining in or that their bids were in the one to two dollar range.

Maybe you could pretend you thought she told you she was holding a giant open home and shout comments about the state of her place over the fence. Better still, if you have any children, get them to do it. I can vouch for its effectiveness.

I think you need to buy an inflatable dummy and wrap it in black garbage bags and duct tape. Then “struggle” to carry it out into the garden between you and DH, have a loudly whispered argument along the lines of, “I told you I didn’t want a part of this!”… “I told you it was an accident!”…. “Oh come on! You’ve always been jealous!!!” and “If we bury it next Hyacinth’s fence, they won’t be able to see what we’re doing!”

I’d be putting m me recycling out one item at a time those days 🤣

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

WTF? I would have burst out laughing in her face at that point. How absolutely cringey. Is she the actual Hyacinth Bucket? I've never heard anything so ridiculous.

Is this for real?