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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
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6
Alicehatter · 08/04/2025 23:23

AtIusvue · 08/04/2025 21:03

Or go a completely different direction. Approach your neighbour because you need to discuss a delicate matter ….that theres rumours of her throwing a swingers sex party, spreading around the neighbourhood.

Go to lengths to explain that you're not judgmental and you understand why she needs complete privacy and why she doesn’t want you to use your garden, how thoughtful of her. But you just thought that she should know.

Then walk away with a smile on your face.

Absolute legend of an idea!!! 🤣 Do this before all the other suggestions!!

AtIusvue · 08/04/2025 21:03

Or go a completely different direction. Approach your neighbour because you need to discuss a delicate matter ….that theres rumours of her throwing a swingers sex party, spreading around the neighbourhood.

Go to lengths to explain that you're not judgmental and you understand why she needs complete privacy and why she doesn’t want you to use your garden, how thoughtful of her. But you just thought that she should know.

Then walk away with a smile on your face.

StoneofDestiny · 08/04/2025 20:38

Sort it out permanently - get together with the other neighbour and have a BBQ and drinks together in the garden. Ideally, the front garden

Danikm151 · 08/04/2025 20:23

Get booking a bouncy castle now… even better if it’s one of the ones with a disco ball and built in sound system.

kidz bop!

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 08/04/2025 19:03

I'm not often speechless but fuck me your neighbour has the hide of a Rhino to demand you aren't use your own garden because of her 'well to do friends'! 😲😲 what a cheeky fucker!

I would have laughed in her face and said absolutely not I'll usr my garden when I want.

@Aliceglass Please throw a loud party on the dates of her garden parties, Hyacinth Bucket needs to be reminded she cannot dictate to her neighbours especially in their own homes and the more people pander the worse she will get she needs to be told NO and that she's a cheeky fucker. If it was me I'd invite every man and his dogs round just to make a point 🤣🤣

RaininSummer · 08/04/2025 18:55

Cheeky fucker. Not a hope I would agree to that. Like a previous poster, I would be sorely tempted go out in my track suit with a fag and a can of cider and gave a loud sweaty phone call about the rat problem or something similar. A nice neighbour would invite you to their snooty party.

PoshHorseyBird · 08/04/2025 18:44

Just give her a big smile and tell her when she starts paying your mortgage she can tell you what you can and can't do in your garden. She's a cheeky bitch! And I'm sorry but on those days I'd be in my garden from morning til night! Eating out there, maybe set up a tent and sleep out there...🤣

Katkins17 · 08/04/2025 18:34

Your house, your garden, your right to use, therefore your right to tell her to GTF !!

AngelaMerkin1 · 08/04/2025 18:28

This is the exact scenario Alexa’s “Extreme Farts Extension Pack” was made for.

Muttley17 · 08/04/2025 18:20

Id be draping a ton of classy Temu crotchless knickers over the balcony on those particular days 🤣

FazeleysRoyale · 08/04/2025 18:11

AC/DC Back in Black - play this as loud as possible on repeat. It’s too good for them but hey, you can’t help that you have great taste in music.

Cherryonthetop2019 · 08/04/2025 18:06

If you haven't got one, time to rent a Lazy Spa and have a pool party! we have one every summer and they are LOUD and RAUCOUS! Add in a BBQ and some 90's rave tunes and your banging!! 😆

Stoptherideiwannagetoff · 08/04/2025 17:58

A business proposition for you OP. Doggy daycare on those dates batshit neighbour has vetoed. Happy to drop off my yappy tribe as well as all my neighbours noisy dogs for the day!

user1471538283 · 08/04/2025 17:47

This is good news! You can now have a huge party, loud music, lots of kids and barking dogs each and every time she has one.

The nerve ...

Washingupdone · 08/04/2025 17:44

She lives in a mid terrace, on the edge of a council estate (our gardens don’t touch the council houses but spitting distance) I don’t know how she survives here!? Unless I’ve got it wrong of course and she’s referred to her street as “mews living” to her well to do friends!
🤣🤣🤣
Where do you stable your horse?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/04/2025 17:27

Your other option is to learn some really good rain dances, @Aliceglass, and perform them before each soirée.

“Shame about the rain, Hyacinth - good for the gardens, though!”

angelinawasrobbed · 08/04/2025 17:24

You need every other neighbour in your back garden with a barbie and A LOT of alcohol.

JohnTheRevelator · 08/04/2025 17:20

Good grief. What a CF! She has no right to tell you not to use your garden at all!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/04/2025 17:17

Such a shame you can’t get Daisy, Onslow and Rose - and dear daddy, of course - round when Mrs Bucket is having her parties, @Aliceglass!

mumzof4x · 08/04/2025 17:12

I would have to hang a line of really really super tacky slutty knickers on the washing line !!

MesmerisingMuon · 08/04/2025 16:32

@Aliceglass I'd either charge her £500 for you not to use your garden all day!

Or I think I'd rather go with the fun option. Buy a multi pack of bright pink thongs and hang them out to dry. Comment loudly how you've accidentally washed your husbands white stripper thongs with something red.

I'd then download a farting app then keep stepping out every 5 minutes with a smart speaker, a strained look on your face then let out a cracker. Comment "ohhhh that's better. Better out than in huh?".

Aliceglass · 08/04/2025 16:19

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 08/04/2025 15:03

Oooh so if you're the end terrace that means she's having her "well to do" friends round to her mid terrace. Even funnier!

😆 It is! She lives in a mid terrace, on the edge of a council estate (our gardens don’t touch the council houses but spitting distance) I don’t know how she survives here!? Unless I’ve got it wrong of course and she’s referred to her street as “mews living” to her well to do friends! I’ve counted up and there’s at least 12 houses that could easily interrupt this garden party, I wonder how far she’s gone with asking people near us!?

OP posts:
AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 08/04/2025 16:10

MMAMPWGHAP · 07/04/2025 19:50

I think that’s the day to start painting the fence.

@Aliceglass
When you paint the fence, make sure it's in nice striped neon, glow-in-the-dark colors. Don't forget to paint both sides so they'll match.

Caroparo52 · 08/04/2025 16:06

This is a joke yes?
Or your neighbour is Hyacinth Bucket... A total snob.
I wouldn't oblige her personally. Just be you. Rude and stupid of her not to invite you ....then you wouldn't be using your garden
..

CoolPlayer · 08/04/2025 15:54

This post started off with me asking thinking it was nice of them letting you know when to expect some noise then soon turned into madness 😅

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