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Original poster

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
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6
StartAnew · 09/04/2025 20:21

It's not a good idea to fall out with neighbours so I wouldn't retaliate. A big smile and a chuckle, and a 'well that really is a step too far when it's our garden, but I expect you are joking. Have a lovely time' is plenty.

SweetBaklava · 09/04/2025 20:19

She’s batshit crazy. Borrow a trampoline and some noisy children 👀

TwinklySquid · 09/04/2025 20:13

Do you have a lawn?
This would be a great time to mow it.

Given how cheeky she has been, I’d probably be out there mowing paving slabs to prove a point.

Laura95167 · 09/04/2025 20:12

Tell her majesty if she requires privacy perhaps she should relocate her hosting to her castle

schtompy · 09/04/2025 20:06

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

This would be me!! Set the dogs barking every half hour too

anotherdayinparadiseagain · 09/04/2025 19:51

Would you like to borrow my very barky cf dog and pre teen son that likes to kick a football against a fence repeatedly? They are both well skilled in their ‘jobs’

Morgan37 · 09/04/2025 19:46

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

This 100%

Hankunamatata · 09/04/2025 19:37

Paddling pool filled with bottles of beer
Trampoline
Hot tub
Karaoke machine
Very smokey bbq

Merida46 · 09/04/2025 19:29

if you have any old stained towels you use for "mopping up" or drying the dog, hang them out on the washing line while they are visiting. The scabbier they look the better!

TryingToStayAwake88 · 09/04/2025 18:47

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 19:31

What a great idea! I might hire a karaoke machine for good measure as well, let the kids go wild on that! 😂

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Use the karaoke machine indoors then you've "obeyed" so she can't complain but you're still really annoying. If she tries to complain say that you organised extra activities to ensure no one went into the garden and disturbed her

CaptBirdsEar · 09/04/2025 18:45

Buffs · 09/04/2025 18:21

When’s the first date? I think we’d all like feedback!

I don’t know about feedback, dont we all want to rock up?

Beautifulweeds · 09/04/2025 18:42

WT actual F?! That's plain batshit.

NapQueenRising · 09/04/2025 18:37

Time to bonfire some dog turds and set the speakers up to play death metal all evening. What a nerve.

Buffs · 09/04/2025 18:21

When’s the first date? I think we’d all like feedback!

Buffs · 09/04/2025 18:17

Outrageous! I’d be sorely tempted to do something passive aggressive.

Lizziespring · 09/04/2025 18:12

Hire a brass band teacher, invite all the local six year olds round to learn to play the tuba, then have a concert party for their parents.

user1471528631 · 09/04/2025 06:45

Borrow a very loud dog that barks all day and leave it outside all day.Oh and get one of those sprinklers that move from side to side so it just goes over her fence 😂

IhadaStripeyDeckchair · 09/04/2025 06:09

She is a CF
I would be planning my own parties on the same dates.
To not use your garden for a number of (hopefully) nice sunny days is a ridiculous ask.

PremiumD · 09/04/2025 02:46

I think maybe if you Google ‘80’s sitcom canned laughter’ you could play it on loop?

RandomWordsThrownTogether · 09/04/2025 02:05

AtIusvue · 08/04/2025 21:03

Or go a completely different direction. Approach your neighbour because you need to discuss a delicate matter ….that theres rumours of her throwing a swingers sex party, spreading around the neighbourhood.

Go to lengths to explain that you're not judgmental and you understand why she needs complete privacy and why she doesn’t want you to use your garden, how thoughtful of her. But you just thought that she should know.

Then walk away with a smile on your face.

Love this!!!

RandomWordsThrownTogether · 09/04/2025 02:04

Fill some black bags with random stuff and scatter them round the garden, put a sofa in the garden and cover it with an ugly blanket, Scatter a few cheap beer cans around the place and lie on sofa in your PJs with some friends scattered around too - every once in a while pass each other small little baggies of sherbert!

Other ideas would be to invite around a local art group to use the space for life drawing or trash sculptures.

Or have you thought about starting your own amateur theatre group - hold auditions in the back garden that day, maybe do The Vagina Monologues.

Bookclub where you take turns to read aloud stuff - choose something trashy with a decent amount of filth for good measure.

How do you feel about the Beat poets? Big fan right? How about inviting all the other neighbours round to perform his poetry, maybe get some loud speakers to play recordings of his raunchiest stuff (love him but my God is he filthy).

I stayed in a house for a weekend once where the neighbours got up every morning and danced around singing songs in worship to the sun. Haven’t you recently found religion? Failing that invite in the Hare Krishnas for a sesh!

Any friends need a space to host their toddlers birthday party?

WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco · 09/04/2025 01:40

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 19:09

Curious though why you waste your time and energy on here then? I always try to be a good neighbour and wanted to gain some perspective, that is all!

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You want perspective? I think it's bizarre that you even think this is normal behaviour.

I'm as accommodating to my neighbours as I can be, but if one came around and asked me not to use my garden because they were having a party, I'd tell them to go get fucked.

You are as bizarre as your neighbour for even questioning whether you are justified to feel miffed.

Your neighbour's behaviour isn't normal, and your response isn't either.

WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco · 09/04/2025 01:28

Unless you ended the conversation with FO, I don't think I can take this seriously 🤣

Mlb123 · 08/04/2025 23:58

Alicehatter · 08/04/2025 23:23

Absolute legend of an idea!!! 🤣 Do this before all the other suggestions!!

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Oh this is so much better than my idea. Love it . Please do this its brilliant haha xx

Mlb123 · 08/04/2025 23:55

This kind of ridiculous unreasonable request always has the effect of making me curious as to whether the person would think it reasonable if I was the one asking. So I would be unable to help telling them that you have decided its a great idea and that you're sure they won't mind staying out of their garden this weekend as you are having a get together and felt a little awkward about asking for privacy from them , but now feel confident that they will happily accommodate you. Then at the weekend I would spend the day watching to see if they do indeed stay out of their garden .

My bet is they won't and will even have the cheek to say they noticed you had no get together which you can simply say it was cancelled last moment . Then when it comes to their dates you can happily ignore their request and should because if you give in to it they'll think they can ask for other unreasonable things and get petty if you don't acquiesce as they'll feel you should as you'll be legitimising their demand by taking it seriously . Nip it in the bud as its cheeky and ridiculous xx