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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
IButtleSir · 03/05/2025 17:28

We definitely need an update after the first party!

Maddy70 · 03/05/2025 17:14

Cheeky fucker ... Say you will ge using your garden as you wish

iwannaknow · 03/05/2025 17:02

Ooh I'd forgotten this thread! Come back OP and tell us what went on.

My irritating neighbours who are similar in their batshittery and having ideas above their station around their sophisticated garden soirées (though not quite as CF as OPs!) have been foiled today by the neighbour behind us who has chosen today to get on with his hedge trimming, strimming and grass cutting. I've also heard periodic grousing from him about 'those fecking squirrels' needing to 'bugger orf!'.

Delightful, crack on Bob! Hahahah!

BernardButlersBra · 03/05/2025 16:52

@Aliceglass what's distressing about seeing a cherry tree?!

Glittertwins · 02/05/2025 18:54

WearyAuldWumman · 02/05/2025 18:47

Road trip!

Sounds like a great plan!

WearyAuldWumman · 02/05/2025 18:47

ScruffMuffin · 02/05/2025 17:29

Shall we all come round, bearing bin bags, scruffy old pyjamas and cans of cheap cider?

Road trip!

ScruffMuffin · 02/05/2025 17:29

Shall we all come round, bearing bin bags, scruffy old pyjamas and cans of cheap cider?

fragrancefriend · 02/05/2025 11:12

So the first garden party is tomorrow is it?

Labelledelune · 13/04/2025 10:49

Grottiest pyjamas, fag hanging ( or a spliff for effect) out of mouth, curlers in hair shouting ‘these fecking bins’ 😂😂😂

Labelledelune · 13/04/2025 10:45

I would be having the greatest party of my life.

RandomWordsThrownTogether · 13/04/2025 00:29

Invite all the neighbours in for an “attractive rats” party - where you all dress as rats and congregate on your decking!

ScruffMuffin · 12/04/2025 21:35

@Hogglehedge that's comedy gold!

Hogglehedge · 12/04/2025 21:17

She sounds just like our vile CF awful neighbour. Tell her to FO. Loving all the suggestions definitely time for some music playing and bush trimming with the loudest strimmers possible wearing a tshirt saying " my bush needs a trim " you can find them on amazon ;)

Baggyprincess · 12/04/2025 20:37

Please tell us the date of the first party! Looking forward to your updates!!

sl0th · 12/04/2025 20:36

What a shame those dates will clash with the days you need to get on with those noisy garden jobs like mowing the lawn and trimming any hedges, etc!

What an absolute CF she is 😆

RachelBerry03 · 12/04/2025 20:34

Your neighbour is bonkers. Ignore her and do as you please in your garden..

Jenkibubble · 12/04/2025 20:31

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

Is her name hyacinth bouquet ?

Your garden - do as you please , when you please !

Yes , I’d be inclined to be especially loud / common / annoying on those dates

Ilovecleaning · 12/04/2025 20:27

Completely ignore her. She is nuts.

Tanjamaltija · 12/04/2025 20:25

Say what? Oh, by the way, my friend is a Kindergarten teacher and we have a picnic on that day.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 12/04/2025 19:46

Ronathediva13 · 12/04/2025 19:08

I’d be throwing my own bad taste themed garden party on her chosen dates. I’m sure there are some horrendous playlists on Spotify you could use for your entertainment.

1990s style tarts and vicars party!

Ronathediva13 · 12/04/2025 19:08

I’d be throwing my own bad taste themed garden party on her chosen dates. I’m sure there are some horrendous playlists on Spotify you could use for your entertainment.

EssieTheFirst · 12/04/2025 18:59

Your neighbour is mentally unwell. Do whatever you want to do in your garden on those dates

Susidoo1 · 12/04/2025 18:41

Pfffft, I'd have two words for her, what an absolute cheek!!! I'd have the biggest lairyest party and invite all the other neighbours !!!

Sameoldsameoldsame · 11/04/2025 07:51

MamaLazerou · 11/04/2025 00:32

Is she called Hyacinth?

I think the op confirmed she was called Hyacinth on the 24th question of the same type.

MamaLazerou · 11/04/2025 00:32

Is she called Hyacinth?