Why is ND a common excuse for poor behaviour now?

The figures literally don’t back that up.Its 1% and diagnosis waits are years. It’s massively undiagnosed.

@Jud3 this is clearly a very emotive subject for you and I am sorry for what ever has happened to lead you to feel like that. However people should be free to start discussions.

I never said they didnt .

I don't see it used as an excuse for bad behaviour in ND adults. I do see it being used as a way to try and understand behaviour. Understanding the reason someone behaves differently isn't excusing bad behaviour but it can help prevent it occurring again.
I also think behaving differently isn't always 'bad' behaviour. If an ND person is too anxious to speak at a certain time or needs to leave suddenly when they become overwhelmed is that bad behaviour? For me, forcing someone to stay in situation where they are uncomfortable would be worse than a person leaving because they are uncomfortable.
With children, the understanding is really important as the parents need to understand the child's needs and help them navigate them. That's not to say an ND child can go around hurting others and not be disciplined, but, if an ND child can't focus on their homework, they are screaming for no apparent reason or they don't seem to be listening, the adults need to recognise they are ND, what is leading to the behaviour and how it can be managed. They need to give the children the tools to manage this, like we give all children the tools they need to navigate the world and become independent adults.

But that may well be part of how he viewed the world and himself, so was it too much to expect that he was able to access the support (and there isnt much anyway to be fair, you cant fix it)

They have other very high needs.

I don’t think anyone is anti autistic but do you not think the quantity of ND diagnosis in both adults and children in the last few years is astounding, it seems at times that almost every second person and their child on this forum has an ND diagnosis

But being completely non verbal will affect a persons life a lot more than if someone has “mild” autism where they’re still able to socialise, access education and employment and manage day to day living tasks independently. The needs and support required are so different.

Autism affects people so differently; it’s the only diagnosis I’m aware of that encompasses such a wide range of symptoms and impacts on people.

There have been lots of threads about mobility and disability and what is considered laziness

Come over to the food section and see some of the views on buying ready chopped veg. Someone like me who needs to use it because of disability is seen as 'lazy'

Have you never frequented the weight loss threads to see views of fat people and eating habits?

The title isnt offensive, given that most threads about unwanted or unpleasant behaviour are peppered with 'he might be ASD/ADHD', from those who are diagnosed or have children who are.

You said your childrens needs fluctuate giving an example of them going non verbal at times ,i was pointing out my sons dont fluctuate they remain high at all times and that hes non verbal at all times

My ds has severe autism/ classical/ profound/ kanners/ low functioning/ high support needs (pick what works for you). Every time there is an incident on the news myself and my husband always comment along the lines of "how long before it cones out they have autism?". It seems to be used now as a legal defence or at least a media defence for some atrocious crimes.

I think it is being used as an excuse now more and more for all sorts. It shouldn't be. The people I know with autism are some of the most gentle and empathetic I've ever met. My own ds cries when he sees people crying because he can't cope with it.

I believe more people are trying to shock with their behaviour or stand out and when called out for it, use it as an excuse.

This is something I have struggled with contemplating. I have ND children and am confident than my abusive ex husband was undiagnosed ND.

I left because he was abusive. But looking back now our children have been diagnosed (so I know a lot more) I can see that a lot of his behaviour was explained by overwhelm and meltdown.

Does that make it acceptable? Absolutely not. But I can also see how growing up without the sort of support and understanding our children now have must have been horrendous for him.

I think the key is whether someone is willing to work on themselves and get support, therapy, counselling or whatever is needed. My ex wasn't.

Bad behaviour is bad behaviour regardless of whatever "disabilities" the perpetrator has or claims to have.

The title is massively offensive. It’s no different to

“Why is needing a wheelchair a common excuse for laziness now”

Nobody would accept the above but ableism towards ND as a disability is.

Yes they could, so why are you arguing against the thread?

My dc also have very high needs including frequent hospitalisation and the need for supportive living with one. Being non verbal all the time does not make autism worse.

I angree and your son’s needs and presentation will be drastically different from another child with autism who can communicate and have friends, but struggles with sensory overload. One will likely struggle to live independently whilst the other could be “high achieving” with some adaptations.

It’s not a way of saying they dont both have ND, but having different diagnosis would surely help both people and their families access more appropriate care and support.

If you find the title triggering maybe don’t read as adults we should be able to have a discussion and air different views it’s how people grow and extend their understanding

How? You’re lucky to get a 5 minute GP appointment for anything. With shared care you will get a phone call and ask for a referral. The ND department then does the rest. The surgery takes on the med when titration is settled if meds are taken( many choose not to)and sends it to the pharmacy electronically like any other medication. The patient monitors their own BP.

How come ADhD medication and diagnosis is such a chore but every other malady, condition and medication isn’t?

Yes but for some people they will have signifiant needs in all area ,z
My sons needs dont fluctuate they are exremtly high at all times ,he ,s completley non verbal and can only communicate in a very basic way.

@Jud3 and I disagree; there’s such a vast difference impact and whilst your children may fluctuate, generally speaking people’s impact of ND could be defined to allow for more accurate and specific diagnosis.

My DSS and both my biological DC are diagnosed ND and my attitude is the ND might be the reason for a certain behaviour but it's never the excuse. However I've met a lot of parents in the ND community and the majority (including DSS mum) will always excuse the behaviour due to the autism/adhd/insert diagnosis here and don't even attempt to parent or correct the behaviour, it's exhausting and beyond frustrating.
Yes my DC may need to be taught in a different way but they absolutely can and are taught about the correct way to behave. Maybe I've just been unlucky in who I've met but irl and browsing posts on here it does appear I'm in the minority with my attitude

I literally work in primary care and hear this first hand! Your surgery may not offer shared care but ours does and it’s definitely increasing workload.

But many of those behaviours with other symptoms could indicate ND.

But other disabilites and diagnoses dont get put forward on virtually every thread as a response to wrong doing by a partner or children?

And its being put forward by those with ND or those who work with that client group or who have children with ND

So if nearly every thread people piped up to say 'oh are you sure he isnt suffering with chronic pain/IBS/piles/stomach ulcers' or whatever to put a context around the persons unpleasant or unwanted behaviour, then that would also be a topic of conversation to say why is behaviour always being linked to those things.