Why is ND a common excuse for poor behaviour now?

And I am sorry this is happening. I actually made everything possible that my child is not labelled with anything she has not got. Strangely the variety of experiences people get. My child had only two presentations around sensitivity in few areas of her overall self. Had never had any problems with behaviour, angelic, moral, patient, studious, helpful. Her issues were resolved with just a page of advice each.

According to my experience professionals just sometimes get tired and just tick boxes, either not helping the really needy patients or the opposite, deciding are going to overdiagnose someone with something they clearly do not have. Not sure why they do that. Hence the fact when some people hear the word < professionals> laugh their heart out and run a mile.

Wishing you the best.

You do seem to be struggling with this thread. Most people are not taking offence and are having a calm discussion. You can't just silence people.

It does make it harder. Trying to get my dd’s ND recognised by others is not helped by the fact that so many people are self diagnosing now when actually there is nothing wrong with them. Parents with naughty children labelling them as being autistic without a diagnosis means people don’t recognise the realities of autism. We knew dd was autistic but until she was diagnosed we always said suspected autism. IMO there is a big difference.

Anxiety before interview is actually healthy for you. I have kept the jobs longest onto which I was anxious. The ones where I went in and out laughing on the inside and swagging how good I am, did not last long. LOL

Inclusivity doesn't work if someone else is being harmed

Absolutely spot on. I champion inclusivity and disability awareness, but we have to be realistic and accept that some things are unsafe.

Is it fair that other people can drive and I can't due to my disability? No. Is it necessary for safety? Yes, absolutely.

I didn't infer that, I was just responding to your comment about never having met people who are ND and behave awfully.

Agree with the point of the museum visit.

It’s far from ideal and the vast majority of society want everyone to be able to access everything, but sometimes it’s not appropriate.

I take my boy to a park that he loves (he’s preschool age) and it’s a popular one with nursery trips, childminders etc. Anyway, we’ve been there on lots of occasions where there have been older teenagers/young adults with their support workers playing in the sand, going down the slides.

99% of the time they’re just there like the rest of us, but sometimes someone is doing something like pulling down tree branches and throwing them over the play area. That annoys me - my boy is three and if he was hurt by that, I know I’d lose my shit. Inclusivity doesn’t work if someone else is being harmed. That behaviour needs risk assessed (just like the swearing at the museum) and if required, the trips stopped.

Absolutely not. You could apply it to any condition - plenty of people with genuine difficulties because of it and plenty who exaggerate or lie.

What I don’t agree with is that ND people are put on some sort of pedestal by many people and nobody is ever allowed to criticise, disagree or take issue with anything they do or say. And if you do, you’re called ignorant, uneducated etc. They’re not above criticism, same as the rest of us.

I think there is an issue of intolerance on both sides of the argument. Tolerance is needed for those who have difficulty coping in some situations, I am sure that we can all recognise individuals who are ND in some way who struggle. However, when it is used as an excuse disturbing everyone else's activities then there is place for saying those indivuals either do not attend or their behaviour has to conform. Those using ND as an excuse are able to conform to the expectations.

A while ago we went to museum which was child friendly with lots of child exhibits and someone (a young adult - maybe about 25) who maybe had Tourettes was there whose language was extreme. This was a school holiday with many children around. I do not know if they could control their language or not. Whilst of course they can visit this museum and are free to do so their language was so strong I am not sure whether they should be allowed to enter as there were many children from 0 upwards around. I think a situation like this highlights how the treatment of ND may need to be secondary to the majority, I am not sure what the answer is but recognise it is a complex situation with many different views.

There is a lot of that on here and in posts like this, people who are incapable of seeing both sides of a coin

The amount of times I had to apologise for my DC's being restless, fidgety, noisy etc when I took them to places forever running away I got shouted at and sometimes sworn (often by men) at for not controlling them - I didn't know then they were ND but now they are adults I can see that - they have learnt to cope and have quirky jobs and lovely partners where they are thriving.
Would the ND diagnosis at the time have made things better? Fortunately I didn't feel like I was being a bad parent I felt the other people were just ignorant buggers who didn't have a clue.

I think it is simply down to the increased awareness of ND traits, which is down to social media. I'm late 50s, was diagnosed as autistic 3 years ago. It never even crossed my mind until about 12-15 years ago that I might be autistic until I saw an autism screening test online and scored in the autistic category.

You mean you have no data to back up your hugely inflammatory accusation.

@Jud3 you can’t be asking me explain what an awful personality is? Or awful personality trait? And SURELY you aren’t arguing that ND people never also have awful personalities or some awful personality traits? If so I can’t continue.
Every human on the planet is capable of having an awful personality trait.

Well when the inference is that there are vast numbers- yes.

Yes, exactly. And we can and should call out NT people who do that, and we should call out ND people who do that - but it's a lot harder, because some ND people will use neurodiversity as an excuse for what is shitty behaviour for anyone, ND or not.

An awful awful personality. Define that please as funnily enough I’ve never ever come across a ND with such a personality.

You said you'd never come across a neurodivergent person with such a personality. I was just pointing out that I had. Wasn't aware there's a minimum quota I have to meet for them to count.

Plenty of NT do that

You know one person.

“There is also an argument for there being a rise in crimes where the main defence is suspected ND.“

I did not say that. I am disputing your declaration that there is a rise in crimes with the main defense being suspected ND.

Data please.

I'm not the poster you responded to but I knew someone at uni who was autistic and had no boundaries and touched people inappropriately all the time, and when called out on it or rejected would say "it's my autism, I can't help it" and play the victim. No attempt to change the behaviour, no acknowledgement of responsibility for the behaviour.

That's an example of someone who is both ND and has an awful personality.

Bad behaviour is bad behaviour, ND or not.

ND inclusivity is around learning styles and making reasonable adjustments. Adapting around sensory issues.

It doesn't excuse poor behaviour or violence.

I have. There isn’t any so you have made a completely false, hugely damaging and abelist comment. As you well know.