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Original poster

Why is ND a common excuse for poor behaviour now?

306 replies

PonderingCarefully · 07/04/2025 15:23

To be clear, this isn't a bashing thread as I'm generally interested in views and reasonings. Posting here for traffic really.

I get ND is a huge thing now and way more people are being vocal about it being accepted in society. This i am in favour of but.... so often now, especially on MN/SM, you see people excusing or questioning if poor behaviour is a result of undiagnosed ND. For example, a partner withdrawing/saying hurtful things would usually be seen as abuse now it's are they on the spectrum? A friend who's taking advantage is no longer seen as a entitled CF but is said to need more patience incase they are ND.

Why is this? Is it now a society norm that you actually need to feel quilted into accepting this behaviour just incase there's something undiagnosed at play? Are we now going to start seeing abusers and bully's in a new light of "maybe it's not their fault" now?

OP posts:
Jud3 · 07/04/2025 15:45

PonderingCarefully · 07/04/2025 15:37

Well it's not, I'm generally interested in why this is someone's first response to the situations I mentioned. But okay, let's make it, as usual, an OP bashing thread instead for daring to ask the question! 🙄

Show quote history

The autism bashers shoe horn this in whenever they can. Have you really not seen the umpteen thread?🤔

Jud3 · 07/04/2025 15:44

Meadowfinch · 07/04/2025 15:38

A ND adult in a relationship and with children, may have an argument with their NT partner, and feel overwhelmed and confused by the heated emotion of the argument. They react by walking away because then the noise & confusion go away too.

The NT partner sees it as unacceptable to walk away rather than try to resolve the issue, but to the ND partner, it may be the logical thing to do.

Neither is being rude, they just have different reasoning and different ways of resolving issues.

And this feels very much like a ND bashing thread.

Edited

I’ve reported it, bit sad how much some posters feel the need to keep bashing autistic people. You’d think they’d have better things to do.

Meadowfinch · 07/04/2025 15:38

A ND adult in a relationship and with children, may have an argument with their NT partner, and feel overwhelmed and confused by the heated emotion of the argument. They react by walking away because then the noise & confusion go away too.

The NT partner sees it as unacceptable to walk away rather than try to resolve the issue, but to the ND partner, it may be the logical thing to do.

Neither is being rude, they just have different reasoning and different ways of resolving issues.

And this feels very much like a ND bashing thread.

Original poster
PonderingCarefully · 07/04/2025 15:37

Jud3 · 07/04/2025 15:34

Yeah of course it’s not a bashing thread, we believe you. 🙄

Show quote history

Well it's not, I'm generally interested in why this is someone's first response to the situations I mentioned. But okay, let's make it, as usual, an OP bashing thread instead for daring to ask the question! 🙄

OP posts:
Jud3 · 07/04/2025 15:34

PonderingCarefully · 07/04/2025 15:23

To be clear, this isn't a bashing thread as I'm generally interested in views and reasonings. Posting here for traffic really.

I get ND is a huge thing now and way more people are being vocal about it being accepted in society. This i am in favour of but.... so often now, especially on MN/SM, you see people excusing or questioning if poor behaviour is a result of undiagnosed ND. For example, a partner withdrawing/saying hurtful things would usually be seen as abuse now it's are they on the spectrum? A friend who's taking advantage is no longer seen as a entitled CF but is said to need more patience incase they are ND.

Why is this? Is it now a society norm that you actually need to feel quilted into accepting this behaviour just incase there's something undiagnosed at play? Are we now going to start seeing abusers and bully's in a new light of "maybe it's not their fault" now?

Yeah of course it’s not a bashing thread, we believe you. 🙄

ArseofOrion · 07/04/2025 15:30

Probably because it’s easier for people to attribute it to ND and in many cases use it as an excuse rather than hold themselves accountable. I.e., there MUST be something else to blame but themselves.

Honestly the number of adults that I know who have recently declared themselves autistic or the more popular ADHD is just astonishing. It’s all gone way over the top. It’s like people have lost the ability to deal with negative emotions or challenging situations.