Why is ND a common excuse for poor behaviour now?

I’m sorry but you really are talking nonsense. The GP had nothing to do with our NHS diagnoses. Most won’t do shared care. Ours doesn’t. The NHS called us up for ADHD diagnosis on the back of our autism diagnosis during which it became apparant which the GP also had nothing to do with. The NHS ND dept did the diagnosis and titration. You do BP monitoring yourself at home and after titration is sorted check in once a year. All our prescriptions go straight to pharmacy not the GP.

You can’t categorise Autism. 2 of my children go non verbal( mute) intermittently. Need fluctuates throughout life.

I think the issue is that that type of behaviour isn't just done by autistic people. I can be just like that when I'm tired or just a bit fed up. I cant help it either, its just part of my personality.

As far as I know I'm not autistic or ever felt the need to be assessed.

The thread is spot on. I have a teenager who suddenly appeared with something like PDA profile. So I was reading around on forums. Also if that is the case, I am not taking all the rubbish behaviour without trying to challenge it, no way. I am responsible, demanding and ambitious person, I might educate myself and have strategies but discussions do not scare me

I don't want people being beaten up in public. These behaviours if dangerous to be kept for the appropriate carer who manages them if that is the case. Specify when you post.

Neurodivergence isn't just Autism...

Maybe because there are a lot of ND people and very little understanding by people who are not ND. I think there are many more people who don't understand the impact of trauma or ND on people's behaviour.

I actually find the opposite in my family. The ND child is ok to hit their parents, ignore family members, call people names (calling people fat), sit on a phone for hours on end during get togethers, leave get togethers within 10 mins because they’re bored, they hate it, proceed to interrupt parents with moans continually until parents give in. This is all accepted.

But if a NT child did any of the above, they’re told off and told they’ll be XYZ consequences unless it stops.

Im sorry but if anything, it’s the ND children who seem to be able to do whatever they want in any situation and everyone accepts it.

I've noticed a pattern of females over empathising and males lacking/not being able to appropriately empathise.
Again fits with the male traits being prioritised.
I do wonder how much of it is down to lack of social norms too? Do NT females also over empathise and learn to hide it? And do NT males generally lack empathy but learn to fake it?

It is an inescapable fact that certain conditions are massively over diagnosed. The latest data suggests that 25% of the population claim to have some kind of disability. That is patently ridiculous.

It serves no positive purpose. Those who are genuine are to some degree lost in the midst of the masses who are not.

It has always been the way. Those of a certain age will recall the back pain epidemic of a few decades ago. It was the go to condition for shirkers. It made treatment for genuine sufferers harder to find. Almost overnight the numbers fell by nearly 90% once people could cite other mental health conditions to get sick notes to excuse them from work.

We should be more thorough with diagnosis and then offer necessary support to those in genuine need.

It does have a huge impact on public services - if you asked any GP practice, they would tell you that appointments and prescribing for ADHD and autism has increased 20-fold. It’s having a big impact on workload.

Im not suggesting ND isn’t increasing, it clearly is, but the rate at which it’s increasing (diagnoses and self-identifying) and the means to get a diagnosis needs looking into. People do tend to now view undesirable behaviour as a sign of ND, which may be true, but it’s a shift in cultural view. I believe it is a social phenomenon - it’s a cultural shift that will be interesting to look back on in decades to come.

There’s of course a massive variance in how people are impacted, some are profoundly, undeniably impacted by their ND, whilst at other times it genuinely is so subtle and (in my view) arguably just a behaviour that isn’t seen as ideal (eg a 7yr old who can’t/won’t sit still - this often improves when they’re older).

I personally think they need to reintroduce new diagnosis terms to be specific about the condition. Autism that renders a person non- verbal m is very different from another who functions very well. I don’t think it’s helpful that they label such a wide range of abilities in one term.

Don't delete the thread. The ND and autistic people are most vocal about being accepted and discussed, dare anyone discuss, it has to be on their terms only. Ridiculous. I have an ND child without a diagnosis. I can learn things from threads

someone just told me on another thread ND does not equal autistic and that you can be ND without being autistic. Who is in the wrong also how everyone now is an expert.

My 14 year old DS is naughty to the people who can’t accept ND as a reason why he keeps refusing to go to school.
To them he is lazy, bone idle, disrespectful of rules (eg have to go to school) and naughty because he refuses to go.
To me he is struggling and suffering. He’s not naughty and he’s not lazy. And the people who refuse to acknowledge his ND as the root cause for his refusal to go to school are the problem, not DS.

most of the time it will be things like, can you believe the teenager didn’t come make polite chit chat when I was visiting my friend and just went upstairs and did her own thing? Can you believe this person didn’t want to share a bedroom when we go on holiday? Can you imagine she said she was overwhelmed and needed to calm down before we could continue our conversation so she wouldn’t say something unfair and cause a fight?

it’s really not examples of nd people displaying bad behavior. It is examples of NT trying to impose their interpretation of the world on everyone. The only person who looks bad in these scenarios is the NT person who is complaining.

actual abuse or real bad behavior should still be called out. If you are just trying to cling to arbitrary rules that you find comfortable, but are distressing for other people, that is your problem, not theirs.

Parents of ND children are unfairly treated. They are expected to somehow anticipate their child's every need before that needs even becomes apparent with a level of precognition that is not expected of parents of NT children. They are simultaneously exhalted as selfless angels ("I don't know how you do it!") and castigated as examples of poor parenting ("ND is being used as an excuse for bad behaviour").

In reality, all of the parents of ND children that I personally know (myself included) are hyper-vigilant of their child's behaviour because we know that we are held to far greater scrutiny because of that ND and far harsher judgement for any "bad" behaviour - behaviour that would generally be written off as tiredness/frustration, peer pressure, "big feelings", kids being kids, etc if it was a NT child doing it.

Because there are way too many kids these days with all kinds of behavioral issues and life presentations and just telling them what to do with a bit more authoritative intonation as the habit was in times past does not work anymore. So society tries to find answers.

This!

I remember needing a pair of lace-up school shoes. In those days, size 6 was considered to be large for a girl...and I had to get boys' shoes.

Got to school the next day. Saw a girl wearing the same new shoes. "Oh," said I, "those are boys' shoes!"

That did not go down well.

You didn't. I quoted someone else who said. Oh forget it!

Some people suggest ND because they recognize the difficulties and situations being described in a thread and hope that it will help the person posting the situation to understand it from the ND person's perspective. Unfortunately, a lot of NT people are extremely rigid and inflexible and think everyone has to think and behave like them. They can't accept or understand differences and therefore like to call people different to them XYZ name instead of taking a long, hard look at their own ignorance and intolerance. The hateful people like to call reasons "excuses" because it enables them to continue being narrow-minded, unempathetic, selfish people. HTH

It's almost like the government want to attack autistic people through education and benefit cuts and then hey presto loads of anti autism threads pop up.

Absolutely there are people who excuse poor behaviour of themselves or their children due to being ND (or assuming they are without an actual diagnosis because they have a similarity or 2).
But in general, no, being ND is not an excuse...it's a reason. I'm ND myself, diagnosed ASD and on the waiting list for ADHD, and if I'm rude at any point, it's definitely not a conscious decision I'm making to be unkind to someone, it's usually because I'm overwhelmed and overstimulated and react directly from those feelings. I may have misunderstandings due to thinking differently but I'm not causing an issue or argument on purpose. And of the ND people I know, it's the same...they're not rude a-holes using ND as an excuse to be a dick, it's genuine differences in thoughts and feelings and the way things are processed.

And if he's over 60 and has misplaced his keys too then the OP has the answer "he could have dementia".