MIL wants to kiss baby but gets coldsores

Cold sores are contagious when there are symptoms.

WHO advise: Most people with herpes have no symptoms or only mild symptoms. Many people aren't aware they have the infection and can pass along the virus to others without knowing.

Hypothetically, you or your partner may have the herpes virus and are spreading it aswell. It's about being sensible and not having contact when symptomatic.

To be honest, I'm not sure how kissing the top/back of a baby's head is significantly different to else where! Albeit a small amount of hair... maybe.

Your MIL is a dirty cow, what is she putting her fingers in the baby’s mouth for and why are you letting her. Shame loudly and tell her straight.

I can’t even think of a single child or baby that wasn’t my own that I’ve kissed or let try and chew my knuckle when they have been in that teething eat everything stage.

I don’t get the obsession. Much like you say I also don’t want upto adults and give them a smooch or stick my fingers in their mouths.

The cold sores are worrying and she should want to protect her grandchild from getting them.

The fingers in the baby’s mouth is just unnecessary and a little gross. I wouldn’t like anyone doing that to my babies either. That said, my youngest has been teething almost constantly for about half her life now and will put other peoples fingers in her mouth first chance she gets.

Yes agree once you get them you can't get rid of them.
.Why are people so selfish.

All these posters who think it ok to blow spit on a baby, stick their finger in the child’s mouth and kiss the child on the mouth - Do you do this to everyone you meet or just to a baby? Is that because you’d get told to stop by someone able to advocate for themselves?

You do kiss she and children when you don’t have one though right? Just checking as I do. I don’t never kiss them - just when I have a flare up I don’t kiss?

they are the worse thing ever. Hate them. I got them from my mum by blood though.

Well thats a hard no from me. Just say ‘mil - dd does not need the pain and discomfort caused by the herpes virus. I am sure you would be distressed by her distress so STOP’

You do know that the cold sore virus can and does cause blindness in older babies, right? And that in newborns it can be fatal? If OP’s mother had actual leprosy it would be less of a problem than herpes simplex!

None of this things are comparable to herpes in a small baby.

I don't kiss my own baby as I get cold sores. I haven't had one since she was born but it's not worth the risk to me.

Oh OP wait for only a few short months when baby is crawling and put her own hands in her mouth after putting them on the floor. And teething when everything goes into her mouth.

i think you are overreacting a bit.

Again! Read what I have put in the original post and the point of the OP post! 😂😂

Me - "other people's babies"

You - "my own babies"

🙄

Oh and I’ve not actually complained have I? A complaint would be if I am unhappy with a situation that has affected me.

I have made a point that someone else has summarised.

People who suffer from coldsores generally have an idea when one is coming, but those who carry it and are asymptomatic can pass on the virus and have no idea.

For that reason I think its fair to have a universal rule where friends and family aren't kissing your young baby when the risk is still so high to their health.

So do u not think ive kissed my own babies and nieces?? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
oh and given i suffer with cold sores then yes i think i have. Ffs!

Clean fingers = perfectly normal alternative to offer to a baby rather than a dummy, IME. You could offer her a dummy to replace her fingers in the baby's mouth - grown ups have lots of other things to do with our hands.

She will know when she's infectious with a cold sore. If she doesn't have any visible signs of one there's no risk of it being passed on. Consider if this is really about cold sores and you need more info about them / how they spread or if it's really a different underlying issue.

I get cold sores also. I’ve not passed them to my husband or children. ‘Never’ kissing your grandchild sounds like overkill.

NHS website.....'Cold sores are contagious from the moment you first feel tingling or other signs of a cold sore coming on to when the cold sore has completely healed.'
I get cold sores occasionally and would never dream of kissing anyone of any age when I have them, and I don't kiss my children, grandchildren, or husband if I can feel the warning tingle. My children are now middle-aged and my husband is in his 70s. As I kissed them when I didn't have cold sores and none of them have cold sores, it seems to me that you can kiss people safely as long as you don't have a current infection.

Yes I have, have you?

You're complaining that you wouldn't be able to kiss anyone your whole life. Kiss adults if they agree, but not other people's babies.

You getting to kiss babies is less important to me than a baby risking catching the herpes virus.

Your baby your choice. Nobody is entitled to kiss someone else just because of their title to a baby. Especially if they get cold sores! You don’t catch these same people forcing affection on older children and teens!

We asked people not to kiss our baby when he was a newborn. He was early and vulnerable. MIL still kissed him stating “well we didn’t have that rule in my day” 🙄

We were fine with relatives kissing him when he was older and more robust. But if anyone was prone to cold sores, it would still be a hard no.

I get coldsores, I have a 6 month old and kiss him everyday, I've had one coldsore since he's been born and wore compeed patches and obviously didn't kiss him during that time.

I dont think it's weird for her to want to kiss her grandchild, however she absolutely should respect your wishes and boundaries. Get your husband to chat to her and outline your wishes very clearly, if she doesn't respect those, she doesn't get to hold baby.

I've never kissed my kids on the lips for this very reason

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ ffs! what are u on about? Have you bothered to read my post??

Just to say. I’ve had cold sores since primary school. I’ve raised 2 children now late teens/ early twenties. Husband 25 years. 2 sets of grandparents. 3 nieces.
Not one, not one has got a cold sore!
not once have I kissed anyone with or brewing with a coldsore and this is what people need to remember!
Yes it can lie dormant in people. Maybe look at what dormant means in a dictionary. Dormant is different to active!