Long story short (ish)
Both families live fairly localish. Historically have spent more time with his than mine for various reasons until a few years ago when I lost my Dad. Now I have new family obligations, especially on Dads bday/anniversary etc etc.
Anyway, my husband accepted an invitation to Sunday dinner at my in-laws, without asking me or checking if we had other plans. Happens it it the same weekend as Dads anniversary. He should know this but it's also written in the calendar. His reply was that its no big deal and he can just tell his mum I had made other plans for us and he didn't know.
We had massive row at Xmas about a similar thing - him putting his family first without a second thought for me or mine. We worked through it and he understood that I had been feeling like an afterthought. Obviously didn't last long. I know he isn't doing it out of malace but I'm feeling hurt because a) he shouldn't have forgot the anniversary and b) he should at least think to ask me if I even want to go to dinner with his family. Didn't even check what plans we may have had.
I feel like whats happening in my life isn’t important to him and that I'm just like a dependable old wifey who will just drop everything to accommodate everyone else. Maybe I am. Just feeling a bit sad and a bit invisible. Am I being unreasonable?