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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unintended Consequences

241 replies

ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 13:22

A colleague who voted for Brexit has just been informed she has no right to emigrate to the Netherlands with her family. The reason she wants to move there is because she says NL have a better healthcare system than the U.K. Her youngest child (teenager) is highly dependent on the NHS and apparently that would disqualify them, unless they agreed to not use the public health care system.

The above would apply even if the NL classed my colleague and her husband as highly skilled, which they don’t. British nationals are now classed as third country nationals so they have to relocate as highly skilled immigrants. No more free movement after Brexit.

She’s trying to be exactly the same kind of economic migrant to the NL that she voted to keep out of the U.K. And for some reason doesn’t seem to see the link.

I’m just nodding politely at work but I had to come and vent somewhere.

AIBU to think “you brought this on yourself”?

OP posts:
Brefugee · 07/04/2025 14:49

Forestry.

deeahgwitch · 07/04/2025 14:43

What does the friend do that Brexit benefits him @Brefugee?

Brefugee · 07/04/2025 14:41

if one of my UK acquaintences had said this i would have ROARED with laughter.

It wasn't hugely onerous or expensive for me (but it's a couple of thousand Euros i would rather not have spent) to get citizenship of the EU country i live in for me and my family, but i remember begging people not to vote for Brexit just to give the government a bloody nose (so many uk people told me that one)

I did say that from a UK citizen pov there were a few reasons that you might, under certain circs, think that Brexit was a good idea. I have precisely one friend who has actually benefitted in his industry. The rest? Worse off but i don't care.

So now if anyone complains about Brexit? i just snigger and change the subject.

Original poster
ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 14:39

cestlaviecherie · 07/04/2025 14:34

Denmark and Sweden are the worst to pick. You have to be fluent in Danish and pass all kinds of tests for Denmark and it's very difficult. Sweden they are very nationalist and even after living there 2 years for a permanent job they still haven't let my friend open a bank account.

I don't know if you can just opt into/pay into healthcare in Canada to receive it as a foreigner, but I do know they have the best healthcare in the world and you can live there up to 6 months on a tourist visa.

Edited
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I have a feeling I’ll be hearing all about how unfair Denmark and Sweden are too.

OP posts:
Tvp123 · 07/04/2025 14:39

Fuck around find out.
I have no empathy at all for people who voted for this.

MounjaroOnMyMind · 07/04/2025 14:36

KimberleyClark · 07/04/2025 14:28

An acquaintance who had a house in Spain that he was planning to to retire to voted for Brexit.

British people who were already living in Spain also voted for Brexit!

Original poster
ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 14:36

Inertia · 07/04/2025 14:19

You’re more polite than me. I’d tell her that this is exactly what she voted for .

If it was a social situation then I would mention it. It’s just with it being work. Good job I can post on here instead 😀

OP posts:
CheckedChecker · 07/04/2025 14:36

ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 13:22

A colleague who voted for Brexit has just been informed she has no right to emigrate to the Netherlands with her family. The reason she wants to move there is because she says NL have a better healthcare system than the U.K. Her youngest child (teenager) is highly dependent on the NHS and apparently that would disqualify them, unless they agreed to not use the public health care system.

The above would apply even if the NL classed my colleague and her husband as highly skilled, which they don’t. British nationals are now classed as third country nationals so they have to relocate as highly skilled immigrants. No more free movement after Brexit.

She’s trying to be exactly the same kind of economic migrant to the NL that she voted to keep out of the U.K. And for some reason doesn’t seem to see the link.

I’m just nodding politely at work but I had to come and vent somewhere.

AIBU to think “you brought this on yourself”?

YABU not to politely mention something about Brexit and benefits shopping.

cestlaviecherie · 07/04/2025 14:34

ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 14:10

I’m bemused more than anything, it’s unlikely I’ll get an ulcer from being bemused. I think she’s more likely to get an ulcer, given how furious she is. And she’s already talking about trying other countries such as Denmark and Sweden.

Show quote history

Denmark and Sweden are the worst to pick. You have to be fluent in Danish and pass all kinds of tests for Denmark and it's very difficult. Sweden they are very nationalist and even after living there 2 years for a permanent job they still haven't let my friend open a bank account.

I don't know if you can just opt into/pay into healthcare in Canada to receive it as a foreigner, but I do know they have the best healthcare in the world and you can live there up to 6 months on a tourist visa.

Original poster
ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 14:33

EmeraldRoulette · 07/04/2025 14:16

This is why I hate political discussions at work. I wouldn't be able to stop myself saying what the hell?

How old is the child by the way? I'm curious if she had very different views nine years ago.

The child is now 15. He’s been suffering from health issues for a long time but I’m not sure whether (or not) it’s as far back as the Brexit vote. From what I understand, he’ll be able to live independently but will need lifelong treatment.

I generally just smile politely and look busy when anything controversial and not work related comes up.

OP posts:
Trumptonagain · 07/04/2025 14:32

ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 13:39

There’s a case doing the rounds in the press at the moment. Young couple being denied permanent residency in Aus because he’s been diagnosed with MS.

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I remember 30 years ago when my Uncle died and my Aunt, in her late 60's at the time wanted to move to Australia to live with her son.
She had to have endless medical examinations plus proof that she could afford to keep herself...even had to have a proven test from our GP that she wasn't pregnant.

KimberleyClark · 07/04/2025 14:28

An acquaintance who had a house in Spain that he was planning to to retire to voted for Brexit.

SpringerSprockerCocker · 07/04/2025 14:25

VivX · 07/04/2025 14:23

I know who did the same... voted for Brexit but had wanted to emigrate to France.
They thought they were voting for the NHS and against (I kid you not) bendy bananas.
Bonkers.

Well that's what Boris told them.

VivX · 07/04/2025 14:23

I know who did the same... voted for Brexit but had wanted to emigrate to France.
They thought they were voting for the NHS and against (I kid you not) bendy bananas.
Bonkers.

Inertia · 07/04/2025 14:19

You’re more polite than me. I’d tell her that this is exactly what she voted for .

Mirabai · 07/04/2025 14:19

I would be tempted to say “it’s a shame we’re no longer included in freedom movement”.

EmeraldRoulette · 07/04/2025 14:16

This is why I hate political discussions at work. I wouldn't be able to stop myself saying what the hell?

How old is the child by the way? I'm curious if she had very different views nine years ago.

AnticleaAndLaertes · 07/04/2025 14:16

Didimum · 07/04/2025 13:35

This is one of the many reasons why there never should have been a referendum put in the public's hands. Forgive me but the public are WAY too stupid (understandably) to grasp the complexities of and myriad long-ranging consequences of such a decision.

Totally agree

Most of the people had no idea what they even thought they were voting for

BoredZelda · 07/04/2025 14:15

YABU for not calling out her lunacy when she complains. “It’s what you voted for, Janet”

Original poster
ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 14:10

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/04/2025 14:01

Tell her that, when it comes up again say this was always a possibility if the country voted to leave. No point getting an ulcer because you don’t want to be honest with her. She might not bring it up again.

I’m bemused more than anything, it’s unlikely I’ll get an ulcer from being bemused. I think she’s more likely to get an ulcer, given how furious she is. And she’s already talking about trying other countries such as Denmark and Sweden.

OP posts:
CallmeJim · 07/04/2025 14:06

If ever there was a reason for a head tilt and twinkly mumsnet laugh, this would be it for
me. 🤭

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/04/2025 14:01

Tell her that, when it comes up again say this was always a possibility if the country voted to leave. No point getting an ulcer because you don’t want to be honest with her. She might not bring it up again.

Plantmother71 · 07/04/2025 13:56

ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 13:38

I am wondering if she realised what she was voting for.

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Completely agree. The amount of folk I know who voted for it and then afterwards whinged and moaned about the implications….. when I asked why they voted for it they all said they just wanted the government to see they wouldn’t bend to their will - but none of them actually wanted to leave Europe.

Flabbergasted!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/04/2025 13:53

ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 13:38

I am wondering if she realised what she was voting for.

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Plenty of people did try to warn pro Brexit voters what the consequences would be, but this was dismissed as ‘Project Fear’. People were basically sticking their fingers in their ears and going ‘la la la la la’ - and now they are reaping the rewards of this.

IHateWasps · 07/04/2025 13:52

ZigZagJigsaw · 07/04/2025 13:50

I meant the EU (clearly, given the topic and context).

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Then use the correct term.

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