My husband says I can't have a pottery wheel even though my neighbour has offered to let me keep it in her studio

I'm just saying, make a giant pottery ballsack to remind him how he's acting

Just buy it and get potting - I wouldn't bother mentioning it to him again - if he says anything tell him your bucket wish was to recreate the scene from Ghost with him but as he wasn't keen you've sorted a replacement ...

I've noticed a lot of men get more controlling as they age, they want to make sure their wife is always at hand for any and everything that needs facilitating so THEY can enjoy their free time or retirement.

have you asked him why he Dosen’t want you to have one, does he think that it will take you away from the chores / other work commitments you should be doing

Has your marriage been great because you've behaved 'correctly'?

agree with the above. I'm always seeing artists who have branched out into pottery/sculpture... you've actually got experience of it too.
£350 for something with a resale value is not asking for the moon. And you are paying it for it yourself.
I'd be furious at someone saying "you'll never use it"... Buy the damn thing. if you find you are not using it, then sell it... no worries. Its annoying that he thinks he has the right to tell you what to do like this. You are a professional artist... I bet if he saw a new guiltar he'd be after it. Is his playing worth £6k? If he wanted to buy an expensive harmonica or something - whose to tell him - you'll never learn to play it. Grr.

Anyway OP. To cheer you up. This argument over a potting wheel was also in The Good Life, back in the day, in an episode called Going to Pot. Barbara had access to ndn Margo's studio and potting wheel and was so much better at it than Margo. It was on iplayer not long ago.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00bzcm5/the-good-life-series-2-7-going-to-pot

You said earlier you don't ask for much. Leaving aside the question of whether anyone should have to 'ask' their spouse for permission as to how to spend their own money, have you not had much for yourself over these 28 years? And is he now throwing his toys out of the pram, as someone else has said, because you might be away from the house and not just grafting all the time on your business?

Is he worried about bothering the neighbour? Can you make an outdoor space, shed etc for it? I don’t think I’d let him tell me what to do op!

Buy it and enjoy it! - if you lived alone you could do what you want - don’t let a man stop you!

Ah its making more sense now. He wants you at home, doing everything. Not out having time for yourself.

If he got rid of one of some of his 6 fucking guitars you might have room for ONE thing you want.

He sound like a controlling, selfish pig.

He stormed out because you decided to do something nice for yourself??!! That's fair 🙄

Fret wanking! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

or one for his feckin ashes x

When you've got it, I suggest a set of YANBU mugs with viper handles would retail well...

I do like a hand thrown mug with a nice dribbly glaze.

Me too! but not the one my DD 'threw' that had a rim so thick I couldn't get my gob round it!

Thought so.

Fingers x there is a second hand wheel for you out there and you can throw pots and have lots of fun whilst he's at home fret-wanking all alone.

What an arse. I bet the actual reason is he doesn't want you off somewhere else enjoying yourself in time you COULD spend keeping house and running life to his benefit.

Will you be doing mugs, I do like a hand thrown mug with a nice dribbly glaze.

I'm as tight as they come but based on your answers, even I wouldn't object.

You are clearly arty and have some experience.

That's very different to me who has zero creativity deciding I'd like to buy one because it looks fun despite never having tried it (and experience of all other forms of art suggesting I'd be unlikely to have natural aptitude!)

You've clearly thought about it and looked into firing etc. It's not a random whim.

Such a shame his six grant worth of guitars somehow caught fire...

@Riaanna There you go, is there enough information here to confirm that OP's contribution to their family business is at least as big if not bigger than her husband's and that she makes a profit from her paintings which her husband doesn't do with his guitar playing?

@Observermum1
Good for you. Keep pursuing the wheel, even if the one that was for sale isn't now.

You are obviously arty and I bet you will make some fabulous pieces. My DD did pottery classes at evening class and I honestly love some of the pieces she made and she isn't terribly arty.

I do think you need a chat with your DH about this situation because it is very wrong for him to not encourage you in your hobbies. Especially as you do for him.

I have tons of hobbies, some stuff doesn’t get used for months and none of it has been used for a year due to ill health. DH brings in most of the money in our house and he would never dictate what I could or couldn’t do or what I could spend. The only caveat is that the bills are paid and we discuss anything very expensive regarding finances and NOT whether we could or should be doing said hobby.

i paint, I bake, I create ‘stuff’, I build things and I have tons of tools for all of these things. I always have a project on the go. My next purchase will be a 2nd hand piano (when I find room for it) as I’ve always wanted to learn.It’s not for dh to say which hobbies I should be doing or me him. He birdwatches & does wildlife photography, he carries round on his shoulders equipment that cost (over the years) more than our family car. It doesn’t matter if we make money from these things, they bring us joy & calm.

on the face of it you are not being unreasonable, nor are you impacting family finances, so buy the wheel and enjoy it.