My husband says I can't have a pottery wheel even though my neighbour has offered to let me keep it in her studio

This still feels controlling to me, he's realised that you are going to get one so has now changed his tune. He is obviously worried about having you out of the house with the neighbour.

You both work from home, do you have your own friends? how often do you do things apart away from the home?

Oh My God - you are a grown woman, you earn your own money and have a supportive friend who will let you keep you the wheel in her studio (though if it was me, I’d tell my husband to shift some of his numerous guitars to make space at home). Just do it, if it will give you pleasure- what is life for?

I mean, "storming out" does sound childish, but as all we have is the bald statement that he "stormed out" we don't know at all what actually happened. It could be anything from "I can't talk about this now, I have to go to a meeting" to him throwing his hands in the air and yelling "I can't stay under the same roof as someone who wants a potter's wheel".

That’s handy since you’ve decided to buy one anyway. Remember, this was your decision not his.

This. I might discuss with DH if I was going to buy something more expensive than usual to get his opinion, but I'd not ask permission. And he's always told me to go for it...
(except for getting a tattoo, DH said he'd prefer it if I didn't, and ultimately I decided against it partly because he wouldn't like it but mainly because I felt it was too permanent for something that I was undecided enough about to be swayed by his opinion. If I've really set my mind on something it's hard to sway me.)

Yep, just because he so magnanimously now can allow you to have it 🙄 doesn't let him off the hook for behaving like a boor.

I wonder if he's read this thread 😁

Catastrophising or what?

Convenient!

Have a phrase ready in your mind if he should ever come out with this shit again. Like "so... it's OK for you to spend £6,000 on guitars, that you can only play one at a time, but I'm not allowed to spend X on a pottery wheel that might actually earn me money as well as making me happy?"

or a simple "I wasn't asking you for permission - I was just telling you what I'm doing".

I hope you find an even better wheel now OP!

Why did you even ask if its coming out of your own money?

i would never dream of asking my partner if i could spend my own money!!

Edit - missed the update - Yey!! Enjoy making your pots!

This is great news.

If he can suddenly make room in one of your sheds (how many do you have and what are they filled with??) then has he explained his unacceptable anger/behaviour over it? Because that is a big problem especially if you think you need to be more assertive in future.

However... yay to getting a potters wheel in the near future!!

Why have you even asked his permission? And if he said no, so what? Just buy it.

I can’t even tell you how many motorbikes and actual bikes Dh has bought over the years without even so much as mentioning it to me. I would definitely be like, don’t be so daft, because he rarely uses them. His current motorbike has been sitting in the garage untouched now for probably 2 years because he never rides it. But nothing to do with me. I would roll my eyes, but his money, he doesn’t need my permission.

Similarly, I have a horse. I discussed him with Dh before I bought him, but I never asked his permission. It’s my money and my time.

OP, you haven't got a birthday coming up, have you? I was just wondering if the reason your husband was so adamant you shouldn't buy the wheel is because he intended buying it for you himself? You say it has been sold already..... just a thought.

I hope you find another wheel.

The storming out sounds so childish, I hope you got angry at that.

I suspect that the poster up thread has it, he's worried he'll have to take on more of the holiday let work.

I suppose it doesn’t improve his life in any way and if something benefits you but not him then it’s worthless in his eyes.

Do you ever do other things for yourself?

He’s worried you will spend less time on the painting that brings in money. There, that’s why.

At least next time you will be ready to dive in and buy it. What a cheeky begrudging you spending £350 when he has spent £6000 on guitars! Did he ask your permission?

Agree with PP, this is not about the pottery wheel - whether he admits it or not, it's about you being less available to cover all the responsibilities that are assigned to you for the business while he does gardening/maintenance and plays his guitars.

Is he worried your pottery is going to get as good as your paintings and you make even more money.

Its none of his business if you have the money and you’ve found a space for it.

I agree, just buy it, and enjoy it. Life is short. Never in 31 years of marriage has my DH ever questioned anything I want, or money I spend.

I think you need to talk to him and point out the massive double standard of him saying you can’t have a pottery wheel when he has such expensive guitars. I’d like to know how he reacts because so far he sounds like a dick.