My husband says I can't have a pottery wheel even though my neighbour has offered to let me keep it in her studio

Tell him to F off, not helpful I know but really there is nothing else to be said.x

Hope you get your wheel soon, and update us with what you've thrown :)

I repeated your question, after answering yours thoroughly. How come I am "over invested" for asking the OP questions and you are not, despite posting at least as much just quibbling about my decision to ask the OP questions?

No OP has an obligation to say anything they don't wish to, but they don't have the right not to be asked questions that would clarify their story. If they refuse to give clarifications, people can draw whatever conclusions they wish from that.

Otherwise you just end up with people posting "My husband's a twat" and everyone saying "What a twat! Leave him!"

I mean some might say that's a useful forum, others might not. I'll leave it to the organisers of this one to decide what they want to allow and what they don't.

If you have the money yourself just buy it. You're not a child and don't need permission.

I've been asking you the same question and I haven't had any response.

This is all a bit odd, to say the least, and a tad over-invested. Bizarre. No OP has to share details they don't wish to. Your last post doesn't even make sense.

Why does it matetr in the least bit to you? It's rather odd, in my opinion, to argue that nobody should ask for clarifications but just come to a dramatic conclusion on their interpretation of a obviously vague story. But each to their own. If people don't think their advice will be followed, why give it? And why don't you spend any of your time arguing with them, but instead reserve all your energy for anyone who says "what does that bit actually mean?"

That's for her to decipher, not you.

Posters have responded in good faith based on the information given. I don't know why it should matter in the least bit to a total stranger. The OP knows if she over-egged the pudding.

Do you seriously think she is going to up and leave her DH of is it, 28 years, based on a few random opinions on MN?

That's a great update! Well done 👏 Hope you find another one for a good price. Enjoy your new pottery wheel!

I think when people are telling her to leave her controlling husband this instant, it matters a little if they are saying it based on their interpretation of a somewhat exaggerated recounting. Most people exaggerate things, especially when they are being very vague on detail.

It appears he never told her "she can't buy it" at all...and one person's "rant and stormed out" is another person's "said what he thought and left to go the shops".

"Rant and stormed out" doesn't have a set definition.

It's not exaggerating or very different from what 'actually happened' . Unless you have a very different interpretation of 'he went off on a rant... then stormed out the house'.

Oh fgs, what does it matter to you?

Why? The OP has exaggerated everything from the get go, judging from what she is saying now actually happened.

So, finally, he never told you you couldn't have one. He just said what he thought about it.

Can you now elaborate on what you mean by "stormed out of the house", before more people take your choice of words to decide your husband is a dangerous lunatic. I mean he might be, but how exactly did he "storm out"?

Maybe it is time for one to be your shed! Aka your pottery, if you are getting electricity out there for your wheel then get a heavy duty cable that would also do for a kiln.

You “can’t”? As my step son would say, he’s not the boss of you!

What's it got to do with him?

Couldn't agree more.

Is he your dad or your partner? IME men buy lots of things for THEIR hobbies (cycling golf) without any discussion

Come to think about it, why does your husband claim to be the sole arbiter of what your sheds get used for? Surely you have an equal say anyway? Would I be right in thinking they're all stuffed full of his junk?

I think the OP would have said if he'd said something as he left the house.

But what does "making room" mean? Will he also make room for you to store clay, tools, drying pottery etc, or are you going to have him stropping around about all that as well?

I suspect he realised you were going to get one anyway and wants you on the premises so he can keep an eye on you, get hold of you easily when he wants to, and ensure that you're constantly on call for the holiday let business. If I were you, I'd think seriously about taking up the neighbour's offer anyway.

Plsd you’re getting the wheel but wish it hadn’t been bcos he has now granted his approval to. If it’s coming out of a joint account it is courteous to let him know obvs but his reaction wld make me question why you spending a sum of money for yourself is such a trigger for him. I personally think he felt threatened by you planning to keep it at a friend’s & for some reason resented your independence or being out of the house & wanted to assert control. It wld also make me also suspicious about where our joint money was going tbh too . Apologies it is suspicious thinking but personal events of my own have made me v distrusting & this is a bit red flag to me. Unless of course money is extremely tight for other reasons.